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19 February, 2007
11:21 PM
TORN-letoya luckett
a part of me wants to leave you alone.
a part of me wants for you to come home.
a part of me says i'm living a lie.
(and i'm better off without you.)
a part of me says to think it through.
a part of me says i'm over you.
a part of me wants to say goodbye.
a part of me is asking why...
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
and you got me just torn.
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (i really want to be with you)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
there were no issues when we started out.
it was cool.
it was everything that love's about.
but something happened.
plus i feel it's over now.
(cuz i can't understand you now.) now oh
(i just can't understand you now.)
a part of me says it's all my fault.
a part of me says "he ain't what you want."
a part of me says to get my bags.
a part of me says i can't do that.
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think that it's over and done you make me fall back in love.
you got me just torn.
torn in between the two. (between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.(you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (telling me i should leave)
leave you alone. (alone)
leave you alone. (alone)
so many times i... (i was ready to go)
so many times i... (had my foot out the door)
so many times i... (i thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
now i'm sitting here and i'm so confused.
cuz i keep fighting myself for you. (i don't know how much more i can take but i can't feel this way)
(you got me so torn)
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (but i don't know)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (should i stay or should i go)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i don't know)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (you alone)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (i'm torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (but i don't know)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two.
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
heard this song ages ago. but í only REALLY listened to the lyrics last night.
and it'll hurt looking over to realise you wont be there no more.
a part of me wants to leave you alone.
a part of me wants for you to come home.
a part of me says i'm living a lie.
(and i'm better off without you.)
a part of me says to think it through.
a part of me says i'm over you.
a part of me wants to say goodbye.
a part of me is asking why...
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
and you got me just torn.
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (i really want to be with you)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
there were no issues when we started out.
it was cool.
it was everything that love's about.
but something happened.
plus i feel it's over now.
(cuz i can't understand you now.) now oh
(i just can't understand you now.)
a part of me says it's all my fault.
a part of me says "he ain't what you want."
a part of me says to get my bags.
a part of me says i can't do that.
a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think that it's over and done you make me fall back in love.
you got me just torn.
torn in between the two. (between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.(you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (telling me i should leave)
leave you alone. (alone)
leave you alone. (alone)
so many times i... (i was ready to go)
so many times i... (had my foot out the door)
so many times i... (i thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
now i'm sitting here and i'm so confused.
cuz i keep fighting myself for you. (i don't know how much more i can take but i can't feel this way)
(you got me so torn)
torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (but i don't know)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (should i stay or should i go)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i don't know)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (you alone)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (i'm torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (but i don't know)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two.
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
heard this song ages ago. but í only REALLY listened to the lyrics last night.
and it'll hurt looking over to realise you wont be there no more.
10:25 PM
this cny weekend has been bliss. if only everyday was like that. staying in a hotel, shopping, gyming, swimming ating, sleeping etc. my life would be pretty damn perfect.
checked into marriot on saturday ard 12, had a buffet lunch at their restaurant, then i went up to drop my stuff and went ard town. and i could feel a blister coming along in my heels, so after a couple of hours i went back to the room to change to a pair of comfy shoes. haha and i continued shopping, it was fruitful=) and when i was in warehouse's fitting room, mum called and asked me to meet her at tangs, to get a pyjamas since we all forgotten to pack that in. hahaha. she was at fitness first with dad, working out. went into the paris hilton-ish room again! but it was a tad bit smaller than the one i went in with nic and joce. then after deciding on the ones i wanted, i went out to look at the stuff displayed there. i think they were all body lotions. and in the drawers there were some purses and hair stuff. you know those masquerade-ish feathers they wear in their hair..? hha yeah i got two=)) a brooch like thingy which i wore on my head anyway and a feathery hair chopstick. it's so nice i couldnt stop admiring it for quite some time. then we walked back to the room. lazed around, waited for everyone to bathe, i used my brother's laptop, then finally went for dinner at the chinese restaurant downstairs at 8.30. i didnt appreciate much of the food, skipped the whole second course cos it's mostly sharks fin soup and some scallop thing, and i dont drink sharks fin cos it's so damn cruel, and i DONT eat scallop. ew! went up, watched whatever was on tv that night, and i stayed online til about 2. and when i went to bed, i realized my brother took up both mine and his side. so i shoved him til the other end and slept. and that wasnt an easy feat, seeing that he was refusing to budge.
surprisingly, i was the first to rise and shine. =) at..8? went to some foodplace near nus, everywhere was closed. it's like some dead town. then went back to the room, changed and headd for the gym. i followed mummy to body attack at one raffles quay. and you actually need a pass to enter the building. the instructor was freeaking gay, i can TOTALLY imagine nic doubling over, laughing her ass off at him, probably at every sentence and action he made. i was bloody amused, and couldnt stop giggling to myself half the time. i was dead and on the verge of collapsing after the class. and mum wanted to stay for latin jazz. haha and i was like, "forget it." and i insisted on eating. even though i was still full from breakfast. so we went to this foodcourt across the road and i had korean noodles=)) went back to the room and i rested on the bed for awhile before heading down to the pool. it was nice, i love the way they had the platforms positioned on the pool itself. and i was hungry again, so i ordered snacks from the poolside cafe. and th water was only 1.2m! i wanted to show my dad that i finally learnt how to trek water in the deep pool. i only learnt that last june, when gen joce nic forced me to go there. and he didnt believe me when i told him i could do it, which i cant blame him for that seeing that i hardly dare to even let myself float in the shallow pool initially without holding on to te railings. yeah, then went up, took a lomg bubble bath with joce's soap and headed for dinner at the restaurant by the poolside, the view of the sky was beautiful. went up after dinner, and i fell asleep unknowingly. twas supposed to stay til 11 to watch the wedding crashers on hbo.
got up the next day, walked around town hunting for breakfast, and settled at macs, since my brother has been craving for it. went back to the room, played monopoly for a couple of hours. then bathed and packed, and headed to lido. watched dreamgirls. it's REALLY NICE, bloody meaningful. and a bit sad.. whenever i watch these movies that has one think or another to do with drugs, i'd really wish drugs had never came about. it's sad the way people die cos of that. =( headed home after the movie and unpacked. which i HATE. it's so annoying. then watched hot chick on chanel 5, i love that show! it's hilarious.
it seems so long ago, when we've only checked out today itself. =(can you believe it, i didnt touch a book all weekend! damn, i could get used to this. but the ugly fact that mid-years is in 2 months time just scare the crap out of me. barely over 8 weeks! i must get down to some serious studying by the end of this week.=\
checked into marriot on saturday ard 12, had a buffet lunch at their restaurant, then i went up to drop my stuff and went ard town. and i could feel a blister coming along in my heels, so after a couple of hours i went back to the room to change to a pair of comfy shoes. haha and i continued shopping, it was fruitful=) and when i was in warehouse's fitting room, mum called and asked me to meet her at tangs, to get a pyjamas since we all forgotten to pack that in. hahaha. she was at fitness first with dad, working out. went into the paris hilton-ish room again! but it was a tad bit smaller than the one i went in with nic and joce. then after deciding on the ones i wanted, i went out to look at the stuff displayed there. i think they were all body lotions. and in the drawers there were some purses and hair stuff. you know those masquerade-ish feathers they wear in their hair..? hha yeah i got two=)) a brooch like thingy which i wore on my head anyway and a feathery hair chopstick. it's so nice i couldnt stop admiring it for quite some time. then we walked back to the room. lazed around, waited for everyone to bathe, i used my brother's laptop, then finally went for dinner at the chinese restaurant downstairs at 8.30. i didnt appreciate much of the food, skipped the whole second course cos it's mostly sharks fin soup and some scallop thing, and i dont drink sharks fin cos it's so damn cruel, and i DONT eat scallop. ew! went up, watched whatever was on tv that night, and i stayed online til about 2. and when i went to bed, i realized my brother took up both mine and his side. so i shoved him til the other end and slept. and that wasnt an easy feat, seeing that he was refusing to budge.
surprisingly, i was the first to rise and shine. =) at..8? went to some foodplace near nus, everywhere was closed. it's like some dead town. then went back to the room, changed and headd for the gym. i followed mummy to body attack at one raffles quay. and you actually need a pass to enter the building. the instructor was freeaking gay, i can TOTALLY imagine nic doubling over, laughing her ass off at him, probably at every sentence and action he made. i was bloody amused, and couldnt stop giggling to myself half the time. i was dead and on the verge of collapsing after the class. and mum wanted to stay for latin jazz. haha and i was like, "forget it." and i insisted on eating. even though i was still full from breakfast. so we went to this foodcourt across the road and i had korean noodles=)) went back to the room and i rested on the bed for awhile before heading down to the pool. it was nice, i love the way they had the platforms positioned on the pool itself. and i was hungry again, so i ordered snacks from the poolside cafe. and th water was only 1.2m! i wanted to show my dad that i finally learnt how to trek water in the deep pool. i only learnt that last june, when gen joce nic forced me to go there. and he didnt believe me when i told him i could do it, which i cant blame him for that seeing that i hardly dare to even let myself float in the shallow pool initially without holding on to te railings. yeah, then went up, took a lomg bubble bath with joce's soap and headed for dinner at the restaurant by the poolside, the view of the sky was beautiful. went up after dinner, and i fell asleep unknowingly. twas supposed to stay til 11 to watch the wedding crashers on hbo.
got up the next day, walked around town hunting for breakfast, and settled at macs, since my brother has been craving for it. went back to the room, played monopoly for a couple of hours. then bathed and packed, and headed to lido. watched dreamgirls. it's REALLY NICE, bloody meaningful. and a bit sad.. whenever i watch these movies that has one think or another to do with drugs, i'd really wish drugs had never came about. it's sad the way people die cos of that. =( headed home after the movie and unpacked. which i HATE. it's so annoying. then watched hot chick on chanel 5, i love that show! it's hilarious.
it seems so long ago, when we've only checked out today itself. =(can you believe it, i didnt touch a book all weekend! damn, i could get used to this. but the ugly fact that mid-years is in 2 months time just scare the crap out of me. barely over 8 weeks! i must get down to some serious studying by the end of this week.=\
16 February, 2007
8:09 PM
LUNCH WITH THE DANCERS
=) i really enjoy their company. though it was sucha short time. haha after pastamania-ing, we went around parkway cam whoring. and talked a lot.
and when we were about to leave, i was telling dana some stuff that got us both teary. haha she was SO CUTE! when i was talking on and on, she fanned my face with her hand occasionally. and she was silent most of the time. then she reached out to hug me when i was done, and we were both tearing. AT THE BUBBLETEA SHOP OMG. it's not some silent place, but a buzzing and noisy place like the bubbletea shop. hahaha and i rmb jana exclaiming,"Dana, why are you crying?! it's steph whose talking then you're crying." hahaha it's damn funny. and it led all of us to a new topic. bused home with nat and jamie. and we were just talking unwarily on the bus. haha but it was nice talkingto them:)
the ciaps scrapbook:)))))
nic's and joce jigsaw puzzle and the ciaps collage!
christmas presents from my two LOVELIES
:))))
valentine's.
=DDD
CIAPS
aww bel's crying too!
haha i couldnt stop carrassing the photos!
HAHAHA guess what made me smile. their freaking thoughtful.
LOL this was after i read their messages.
i love them like CRAZYYYYYYYYYY
they're gianormous GLAMOUROUS cushion!
NAMETAGS ARE COOL!
=) i really enjoy their company. though it was sucha short time. haha after pastamania-ing, we went around parkway cam whoring. and talked a lot.
and when we were about to leave, i was telling dana some stuff that got us both teary. haha she was SO CUTE! when i was talking on and on, she fanned my face with her hand occasionally. and she was silent most of the time. then she reached out to hug me when i was done, and we were both tearing. AT THE BUBBLETEA SHOP OMG. it's not some silent place, but a buzzing and noisy place like the bubbletea shop. hahaha and i rmb jana exclaiming,"Dana, why are you crying?! it's steph whose talking then you're crying." hahaha it's damn funny. and it led all of us to a new topic. bused home with nat and jamie. and we were just talking unwarily on the bus. haha but it was nice talkingto them:)
the ciaps scrapbook:)))))
nic's and joce jigsaw puzzle and the ciaps collage!
christmas presents from my two LOVELIES
:))))
valentine's.
=DDD
CIAPS
aww bel's crying too!
haha i couldnt stop carrassing the photos!
HAHAHA guess what made me smile. their freaking thoughtful.
LOL this was after i read their messages.
i love them like CRAZYYYYYYYYYY
they're gianormous GLAMOUROUS cushion!
NAMETAGS ARE COOL!
15 February, 2007
10:56 PM
Why cant they understand the way we feel,
They just don't trust what they cant explain,
I know we're different,
But deep inside us,
We're not that different at all
is this when i'm supposed to be over the moon?
They just don't trust what they cant explain,
I know we're different,
But deep inside us,
We're not that different at all
is this when i'm supposed to be over the moon?
12 February, 2007
10:10 PM
OHMYGOODNESSSSSSSSS! thanks okay everyone! hahaha ESPECIALLY to NIC and JOCE and the CIAPS. omg !
haha nic told me to go to school later, but i didnt expect to be yellow-slip late! the traffic really sucked. haha twas trying to cram in physics in the car. and i wanted to go for breakfast so i didnt have to stand in front of the whole school to be scolded and booked, but decided not to. so i walked slowly to school from tkss where i asked my parents to drop me off. haha and met amelia and chatted with her for a bit. yada yada yada and headed to class, but i ran into joce and nic before that when they were crouching behind the building, and they shoo-ed me away. omg haha i went to the ladies to wash my face and when walking back to class i met them again ahhh and they showed me their presents omg! :))))))) and i went to class and saw tat GARGANTUAN cushion, they they did ALL BY THEMSELVES i was shocked. it was so damn glamourous! and they side that was facing me was the leopard print/cheetah spots! hahaand ALL the sides are damn nice, there's a glittery pink one and the 2005ZANY cloth, but in green, and theis mystical purplishblue and a red velvet and the faint green one, omg it's bloody nice, and their both like the world's biggest screw-uppers, yet they managed to come up with that! omgg... and TWENTY nail varnishes packeged DAMN nicely in the spotlight lace, and this calendar with our pictures, and a jigsaw puzzle of us in the pulau samaukau place! it's all bloody impressive, ahh i love you two lot okay!
ahahaha, and i was packing my table and i saw this piece of paper that wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH and jana dana bel and shihua signed it, i was thinking, oh. OMG they shocked me during recess, dana dragged me to the classroom block field, and back to class to get my camera, and back to the field again. then i saw jana beland shi holding some stuffies, ahh, i was happy! :DDD i couldnt really make it out from far, but they gave me SIXTEEN colourful DAISIES,a scrapbook, and this huge collage! and shihua put this paper tiara on me that dana made herself! it's so NICEEEEEEEEEEE! we sat there and took pictures and i browsed through the scrapbook, go to annabel's blog for pictures: http://-inexcess.blogspot.com it's so nice and sentimental! then it was gettinh hot, so we went to the void deck, and when i read their messages i started crying, their so sweet and touching yet funny! omgoodness! i love them all so bloody much, felt like the luckiest girl ever!
ohman, thanks okay! everyone who gave me presents and wished me at 12:)))))
oh and thank god daddy could fetch me home today, i'ld have no idea what to do if he couldnt, haha like EVERTHING couldnt fit inyo the backseat, i needed to put so much onto my lap too! haha omg! felt so damn blessed! and before that dance was fun! :)))))))))) cheraded and danced around.
oh and when i got home, i was vacuuming my cushion, so i could put it in my room, when my dad was like, "oh, what's that?" at this little package on the dining table that i didnt even notice. i walked over and saw a red packet and a box with the freaking word 'PRADA' on it, i grabbed it and untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, it's a bloody wallet! yeah it's leather! it's not in black though, but i was so freaking happy, i really did NOT expect my mum to get it for me! ya but it turned out my dad bought it last week when i asked. and i thought they havent gotten me anything yet, and are gonna give me belated! then we went for dinner i was asking my mum to help me change it to black or some other nicer colour, but my dad was like, "oh, i was so confident you'll like it!" and "it's the latest colour!" and "i was proud of myself on finally doing sth right!"cos he's ALWAYS getting screwed up stuff that she doesnt like, like a diamond rind which has a gold frame or a prada bag with a GOLD buckle or some pair of shoes which isnt nice at all, haha and i rmb my mum complaining to me that my dad has no taste at all, which is kinda true actually. then i felt so bad so i didnt wanna change it anymore. and my mum was also saying she doubted it could be changed, cos she tried the previous time. ohwell. so i told my dad i'm sticking to it.
ooh, now there's valentine's to look forward to! yay! :D
i havent started revising for amath! i'm really screwed..
the non-existent cherry on top of my sundae
haha nic told me to go to school later, but i didnt expect to be yellow-slip late! the traffic really sucked. haha twas trying to cram in physics in the car. and i wanted to go for breakfast so i didnt have to stand in front of the whole school to be scolded and booked, but decided not to. so i walked slowly to school from tkss where i asked my parents to drop me off. haha and met amelia and chatted with her for a bit. yada yada yada and headed to class, but i ran into joce and nic before that when they were crouching behind the building, and they shoo-ed me away. omg haha i went to the ladies to wash my face and when walking back to class i met them again ahhh and they showed me their presents omg! :))))))) and i went to class and saw tat GARGANTUAN cushion, they they did ALL BY THEMSELVES i was shocked. it was so damn glamourous! and they side that was facing me was the leopard print/cheetah spots! hahaand ALL the sides are damn nice, there's a glittery pink one and the 2005ZANY cloth, but in green, and theis mystical purplishblue and a red velvet and the faint green one, omg it's bloody nice, and their both like the world's biggest screw-uppers, yet they managed to come up with that! omgg... and TWENTY nail varnishes packeged DAMN nicely in the spotlight lace, and this calendar with our pictures, and a jigsaw puzzle of us in the pulau samaukau place! it's all bloody impressive, ahh i love you two lot okay!
ahahaha, and i was packing my table and i saw this piece of paper that wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH and jana dana bel and shihua signed it, i was thinking, oh. OMG they shocked me during recess, dana dragged me to the classroom block field, and back to class to get my camera, and back to the field again. then i saw jana beland shi holding some stuffies, ahh, i was happy! :DDD i couldnt really make it out from far, but they gave me SIXTEEN colourful DAISIES,a scrapbook, and this huge collage! and shihua put this paper tiara on me that dana made herself! it's so NICEEEEEEEEEEE! we sat there and took pictures and i browsed through the scrapbook, go to annabel's blog for pictures: http://-inexcess.blogspot.com it's so nice and sentimental! then it was gettinh hot, so we went to the void deck, and when i read their messages i started crying, their so sweet and touching yet funny! omgoodness! i love them all so bloody much, felt like the luckiest girl ever!
ohman, thanks okay! everyone who gave me presents and wished me at 12:)))))
oh and thank god daddy could fetch me home today, i'ld have no idea what to do if he couldnt, haha like EVERTHING couldnt fit inyo the backseat, i needed to put so much onto my lap too! haha omg! felt so damn blessed! and before that dance was fun! :)))))))))) cheraded and danced around.
oh and when i got home, i was vacuuming my cushion, so i could put it in my room, when my dad was like, "oh, what's that?" at this little package on the dining table that i didnt even notice. i walked over and saw a red packet and a box with the freaking word 'PRADA' on it, i grabbed it and untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, it's a bloody wallet! yeah it's leather! it's not in black though, but i was so freaking happy, i really did NOT expect my mum to get it for me! ya but it turned out my dad bought it last week when i asked. and i thought they havent gotten me anything yet, and are gonna give me belated! then we went for dinner i was asking my mum to help me change it to black or some other nicer colour, but my dad was like, "oh, i was so confident you'll like it!" and "it's the latest colour!" and "i was proud of myself on finally doing sth right!"cos he's ALWAYS getting screwed up stuff that she doesnt like, like a diamond rind which has a gold frame or a prada bag with a GOLD buckle or some pair of shoes which isnt nice at all, haha and i rmb my mum complaining to me that my dad has no taste at all, which is kinda true actually. then i felt so bad so i didnt wanna change it anymore. and my mum was also saying she doubted it could be changed, cos she tried the previous time. ohwell. so i told my dad i'm sticking to it.
ooh, now there's valentine's to look forward to! yay! :D
i havent started revising for amath! i'm really screwed..
the non-existent cherry on top of my sundae
09 February, 2007
10:34 PM
ohmygod, it would be SO much nicer if i felt it too.
ahh, it's getting hotter by the day:( i want the chilly weather back! i cant imagine waiting for the bus day after day in the sweltering sun. ohman and ms tee scared me during physics, talking about Os. my attitude towards studying isnt right, i know it isnt. it's just so HARD to force myself to study more. it's like, i only mug when there's a CA coming up. i dont revise whatever's taught long ago, or read up for the next lesson. i'm seriously afraid i make the same mistake as last year, studying too late.
and i just rmbed i have other homework to do. a summary and an essay. omg, and i have NO time at all tmr! SHIT. chinese tuition in the morning, english tuition in the afternoon, and we're going to top of the M to celebrate my birthday at night. which is so early, but i dont have a chice since there's school on tuesday. :( i wish it fell on a friday, like nic's! and there's dance on monday too. but nevertheless, i seriously cant wait!=DDD
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
ahh, it's getting hotter by the day:( i want the chilly weather back! i cant imagine waiting for the bus day after day in the sweltering sun. ohman and ms tee scared me during physics, talking about Os. my attitude towards studying isnt right, i know it isnt. it's just so HARD to force myself to study more. it's like, i only mug when there's a CA coming up. i dont revise whatever's taught long ago, or read up for the next lesson. i'm seriously afraid i make the same mistake as last year, studying too late.
and i just rmbed i have other homework to do. a summary and an essay. omg, and i have NO time at all tmr! SHIT. chinese tuition in the morning, english tuition in the afternoon, and we're going to top of the M to celebrate my birthday at night. which is so early, but i dont have a chice since there's school on tuesday. :( i wish it fell on a friday, like nic's! and there's dance on monday too. but nevertheless, i seriously cant wait!=DDD
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know
It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop
[Chorus]
This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here
06 February, 2007
6:27 PM
Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
All my days and all my nights
I sit up pouring is this right
Will you only take me for what you want
When you whisper in my ear, you make my problems disappear
Sometimes I don't know where you're coming from
I feel my senses turn around,
I can't believe the love I've found
Then I ask myself can this be wrong
Somethings you just cant control, theres no way of letting go
You could let me down it only takes time
Things I may live to regret
Wishing that we'd never met
Hard to see my way but loves so blind
Oh my head is spinning round
Can't believe this feeling now
I wish I knew whats going on in my mind
[Chorus]
If you want what I want
But I see what you don't
We need some understanding
You gotta let me know
If I want what you want
And you see what I don't
Don't try and be demanding
You've gotta take it slow
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
Don't you know
this song's stuck in my head again.
didnt study any crap at all. i was supposed to revise physics! did 550 crunches with horrendous after school, i dont feel accomplished at all!! that's not good:(( and i snacked like crazy just now, despite my sore throat.
psst psst kiss swish shhhh poof! haha we were lying there for a while before i left. the special place. =) got home only at 3.50.
school's always a bore. there's nothing special these days. and! i di badly for the last question in the chem ca! i was happily doing the first part, glad that i studied those, and i practiced so much on flowcharts!! and the flowchart that came out, i did nothing relatively CLOSE to it. crap. oh and during emath, leesn confiscated the piece of paper neelima and i were writing and throwing at each other, i was bloody reluctant to give it to her, it was full of rambly nonsense! about chuckie and some shit neelima was singing. i was freaking scared she read it aloud, which, wouldnt be of any surprise if she did. wth. i was just thanking god it's not my diary or whatever, there's no chance whatsoever of getting it back from her. but still! ugh "you think i dont know what you're doing is it?" IT IRKS ME.
cheer up camille, you dont have to go to italy just to be satisfied! =)))
one's nice and one's not.
one's mean and one's sensitive.
one's direct and one's oblivious.
it's just my luck i want the current.
i always seem to be chasing the wildest dreams.
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
All my days and all my nights
I sit up pouring is this right
Will you only take me for what you want
When you whisper in my ear, you make my problems disappear
Sometimes I don't know where you're coming from
I feel my senses turn around,
I can't believe the love I've found
Then I ask myself can this be wrong
Somethings you just cant control, theres no way of letting go
You could let me down it only takes time
Things I may live to regret
Wishing that we'd never met
Hard to see my way but loves so blind
Oh my head is spinning round
Can't believe this feeling now
I wish I knew whats going on in my mind
[Chorus]
If you want what I want
But I see what you don't
We need some understanding
You gotta let me know
If I want what you want
And you see what I don't
Don't try and be demanding
You've gotta take it slow
Yeah Yeah Yeah
Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
Don't you know
this song's stuck in my head again.
didnt study any crap at all. i was supposed to revise physics! did 550 crunches with horrendous after school, i dont feel accomplished at all!! that's not good:(( and i snacked like crazy just now, despite my sore throat.
psst psst kiss swish shhhh poof! haha we were lying there for a while before i left. the special place. =) got home only at 3.50.
school's always a bore. there's nothing special these days. and! i di badly for the last question in the chem ca! i was happily doing the first part, glad that i studied those, and i practiced so much on flowcharts!! and the flowchart that came out, i did nothing relatively CLOSE to it. crap. oh and during emath, leesn confiscated the piece of paper neelima and i were writing and throwing at each other, i was bloody reluctant to give it to her, it was full of rambly nonsense! about chuckie and some shit neelima was singing. i was freaking scared she read it aloud, which, wouldnt be of any surprise if she did. wth. i was just thanking god it's not my diary or whatever, there's no chance whatsoever of getting it back from her. but still! ugh "you think i dont know what you're doing is it?" IT IRKS ME.
cheer up camille, you dont have to go to italy just to be satisfied! =)))
one's nice and one's not.
one's mean and one's sensitive.
one's direct and one's oblivious.
it's just my luck i want the current.
i always seem to be chasing the wildest dreams.
04 February, 2007
9:14 PM
ohmygoodness. i want it the stoppppppppp. that bloody fluttering.
DAMMIT.
ohman. i'm not looking forward to anything anymore. and WHY?! cos i've turned into a COMPLETE coward and i'm too scared to do anything. and it makes things worse. UGH.
i need to set my priorities right.
DAMMIT.
ohman. i'm not looking forward to anything anymore. and WHY?! cos i've turned into a COMPLETE coward and i'm too scared to do anything. and it makes things worse. UGH.
i need to set my priorities right.
02 February, 2007
10:03 PM
i swear this stinks.
i dont know what i'm thinking. it's a freaking mess UGH. and to think that ytd, i commented to nic,"We're both happy girls, right?" ha. ha. ha. when you told me THAT, my BIG bubble of happiness and satisfaction popped. you must've felt GRRRRREAT.
i dont get it, you had your chance, and you blew it. i don't anymore. after i saw all i needed to see to make up my mind. then why are you spoiling it for me? :( i couldve lived a couple more weeks of ignorance and continue everything but ou just broke it so directly, it was staring at me in the face. UGH. it's not gonna be the same anymore.
next week is a freaking packed week loaded with CAs. it's CRAZY. monday, there's syf rehearsal at NIGHT from 7-8 at NUS , God knows whee it is, tuesday, there's chem, wednesday, chinese, which i only found out today, thursday, emath and friday, amath. SETS. which i have clue about it. i REEEEEEEALLLLY CANNOT stand leesn, EWWWWWWWWWWW. she cant FREAKING TEACH OKAY. worse still it's the same one for e and amath. bloody fantastic.
i dont think our item's prepared at all.=(
rahh, and my throat is hurting like hell.
i dont know what i'm thinking. it's a freaking mess UGH. and to think that ytd, i commented to nic,"We're both happy girls, right?" ha. ha. ha. when you told me THAT, my BIG bubble of happiness and satisfaction popped. you must've felt GRRRRREAT.
i dont get it, you had your chance, and you blew it. i don't anymore. after i saw all i needed to see to make up my mind. then why are you spoiling it for me? :( i couldve lived a couple more weeks of ignorance and continue everything but ou just broke it so directly, it was staring at me in the face. UGH. it's not gonna be the same anymore.
next week is a freaking packed week loaded with CAs. it's CRAZY. monday, there's syf rehearsal at NIGHT from 7-8 at NUS , God knows whee it is, tuesday, there's chem, wednesday, chinese, which i only found out today, thursday, emath and friday, amath. SETS. which i have clue about it. i REEEEEEEALLLLY CANNOT stand leesn, EWWWWWWWWWWW. she cant FREAKING TEACH OKAY. worse still it's the same one for e and amath. bloody fantastic.
i dont think our item's prepared at all.=(
rahh, and my throat is hurting like hell.