i hate my life.
everything's going wrong.
every freaking shit.
isit so hard to let it happen?
miricles dont happen. okay, maybe it does, but it never happens to me.
i just wish this streak of bad luck will just GO AWAY.
HAVENT I SUFFERED ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT?!
oh, for god's sake. GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK WILL YOU.
is it so hard to meet up?! i think it's just all my freaking fault. IF ONLY.
i cant describe how miserable i'm feeling right now.
i'm getting stupider and dumber by the moment, i never used to be like this! the whole freaking world is full of smart ppl, who can score without studying, and ME?! i can study my guts out, i can still end up with a lousy grade.
or LUCKY ppl who gets things they're way, what they want, and leads SUCH a carefree life.
i cant say how jealous i am of these ppl.
is it bad luck or bad karma?
maybe both.
you know, i'm really sick of being so scared, unlucky, timid, and having such low self-esteem. will i still be like that when i grow up? when i enter the working world? oh, and i'm VERY tired of being called a bimbo. for GOD'S sake, i'm NOT. urghh.
i wish that one morning, i'll wake up, and realize my whole life is just all a VERY SCARY NIGHTMARE. but nah. that'll never happen. i'm living this nightmare.
i'm so very sick and tired of everything.

whatever.

What's the sense of trying hard to find your dreams
Without someone to share it with
Tell me what does it mean?

gosh, this afternoon was SUCH a waste of time! went to neelima's hse after sch, HAHA. with pissinee. fiona and shila couldnt come. walked to her hse from a bus stop, under the DAMN HOT SUN! urgh. to make matters worse, my nose was being a BITCH agn. like all it knows how to do is sneeze and sneeze. dumbass. yeah, so anyways, we snacked and talked shit all the way to her hse, haha. when we got there, she finally said she has no cat, after HARPING she has a freaking cat called kibbles or whatever that scratches, WHATEVER. yeah, then she pretended she lost her key?! wth. okay. we went in, she couldnt find her aircon remote, and had to wait for her mum to come back so we can on her aircon. lol. then discussed which book to use. then after deciding, on i forgot which book, pissinee set her alarm on her phone, and we both slept on the floor. we had NOTHING to do alr, and it was too hot to leave. GRRR. hate singapore's weather. so we were just sleeping peacefully, and EVERY FREAKING FIVE MINUTES neelima would yell and WHINE at us to wake up. LOL. we just ignored her and continued sleeping. hahah. then she started POKING us, wth. hahaha. we left ard 4.30 cos pissinee has tuition at 6. walked to the bus stop and got a bus=), then changed bus at the next stop to take 31 to the mrt station, and we boarded it in less than a minute! =)) lucky, huh. slept all the way there. haha. woke pissinee up when we reached, and her face was like so blur. hahahah. then took 73 home. napped a while before walking tasha, and i had chi tuition right away. =\
i'm damn unlucky what. wth did i expect?

school started. i dont feel like waking up everyday. haha, i'll just know it'll be a shitty day. which turned out to be right, duh. irritating. i know it will be stressful and stuff, but i'm not feeling it yet, which is good. =) there's no homework too! haha, i'm feeling so free, which doesnt seem right, so i'm reading this CHINESE book which the school forced us to buy. whatever. it's so hard to read!! every line there'll be a word which is unfamiliar, or, i recognise, but dunno how to pronounce. =(

hmm. i dunno when we're celebrating gen's birthday. there seem to be a problem with everyday. everone's schedules clashes. irritating.

i'm gonna post the pictures we took on friday after all. haha. my com stopped lagging so badly already. =)





















hmmm. do we?
























too lazy to upload the rest. haha. sigh. another day at sch tmr. ugh.
i feel it fading away. which is good, right?=)

OHMAN! freaking tiring day. walked ard under the hot sun today selling flags. but it was worth it i guess. helping those disabled people.=)) grace left at the same time that joce came. so my parents dropped grace off on the way to thomsan plaza to drop me and joce. we hung ard there for a while before realising it was hopeless, so we left and walked to the bus stop. it was a LONG walk. took 855 to khatib mrt station. stood at the bottom of the overhead bridge. yay, we finished one whole page of stickers. yeah! took the train to city hall. appearantly not supposed to sell flags there, so we took a shuttle to millenia walk and had lunch. then went to candy empire. bought a couple of candies there, and walked to suntec, then back to city hall. took the train back to khatib since we sold more flags there. finished all the stickers then we went back to thomsan plaza. hung ard for 20 mins before returning our cans so that it's exactly 6hrs. haha.

grace stayed over last night. slept ard 3plus. she painted my nails with her new shade. it's damn nice! peachy colour. haha! actually before she came i was feeling damn miserable so i complained to her. haha. i tried painting hers, then she erased, complaining that it was the same colour as her pimples. LOL. watched an episode of zack and cody and that's so raven on youtube, did the high school muical dance again, took photos, and watched raise your voice and a bit of white chicks. haha we snacked so much! that woman made me laugh so much omg! she did what this pelvis rocking movement that looked so WRONG! hahahaha, freaking hilarious. we painted our nails agn before clearing up. talked a while before we both slept. haha fun!

before that went out agn with gen nic joce. watched she's the man. YEAH! omg, i LOVE that movie. funny like shit. gen and i were laughing damn loud and i only did it cos it was dark, and no one will know, HAHA. omg it's damn funny, i love it! i think amanda bynes is a good actress. =) shopped and took neos and pics too! nic and i came to a conclusion that we SORT OF look alike. somehow. lol. it's impossible, really, since her features are more defines, and her eyes are damn BIG, and i have more baby fats. haha. so we took abt a zillion pictures to make sure. it was freaky, really, whenwe saw the results. HAHA. i first realised when i saw annabel's camera. i thought nic and annabel were at joce's condo's toilet, then i realised it was me after flipping through the photos. haha! and nic's mum commented that one of the pictures we did look alike. haha funny. and YEAH! got my photo album. yayayay. so i slotted my 100 photos in when i got home. haha, yay!=)) then felt freaking miserable and diaried until grace came. haha yay.

ohno i'm having a dammit BAD headache. it's been there since afternoon. argh go away!
will you PLEASE stop talking to me abt that?! i've heard it abt a zillion times already, i dont wanna hear it anymore! irritating. each time i start to enjoy myself, you JUST have to put a stop to it RIGHT?! dammit!

didnt update ytd. it was interesting, really. haha, spent half the day with annabel. hmm, shant eleborate. =)) after dance practice, we went to pp, ate at sakae sushi. i printed my photos too! now i have to find a NICE album to store them. =) hmm, but where?? i want sth special, not just any ordinary photo album. shopped for her flips and my shorts too. haha. then i left with my mummy and brother.

lazed ard at home after walking tasha in the morning. then followed daddy to hot yoga. haha. bathed and rushed off the learning lab. got our membership card today, DAMN SHIT i looked so,..so YOUNG. lol. the photo was prob since p4, and i only got it now?! RIGHT. okay, whatever. haha, shopped ard too. bought waterbottles. their COOL! haha. and exchanged joce raft, since there are appearantly many many holes in them and she has to keep blowing it up in the middle of the pool. HAHA. yeah, then went to tll. haha, ate and ate. hm. =) oh, and made a complete fool out of ourselves. ugh, haha! oooh, and found out STH ABT NIC! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YAYYYY! went to the washroom to double check, and.... HAHA YAY! =) okay i shant be so mean, SORRY NICffi! =] saw alexa in one of the classrooms on the way back. ate somemore, did math, talked, crapped, laughed a hell lot, even managed to snap some pics. HAHA. =)


aww, doesnt she look SMALL and CUTE?











food. there's MORE. haha.

when i woke up today, it was bloody raining! was feeling UNLUCKY. ugh. actually i thought grace and i were not going to meet, but we did in the end. instead of walking, daddy sent me. yeah! haha. ate at mr bean, cos the laksa stall wasnt opened. =( yeah so anyway, walked home, or halfway, rather. took a bus the rest of the way back. OMG you know that she hits people DAMN PAIN?! god! like when she hit, my skin will sting. IDIOT. haha. and she'll go like, "I'M A TENNIS PLAYER YOU KNOW!" lol.

then went to my room, slacked ard a little, OHOH, and she showed me the high school musical dance on youtube. the half speed one. i know the dance now!! the we're all in this together dance. =D yeah! the wild cats part was DAMN hard to catch up, it's so FAST. haha. but i got it now! =))

then we took pics. yay! haha. and she messed up my bag box and my wardrobe! haha, ass. she uses 11 clips on her hair!!!omg! when i used 4 i thought that was alot. but she uses 11! woah. haha. then watched some bits of high school musical and the perfect man. =) and did a bit of amath, danced some more, and talked, argued abt who to keep my top, and walked her to my bus-stop. she left ard 6.40. i've been slacking until now. went out for dinner with my family. =)








look at my hair!!! and my eyes! they're so BLUE. =D



























hahaha, her indiany pose.






fishy!












ohoh, we videoed us dancing the high school musical dance too! haha. =)

talking to her on the phone now. haha. think she's sleeping over on friday. yay!