i cut my hair! haha. with annabel today at jean yip. jeap yip group i think. on the second level. they were all decked in black. omg when i saw, it was REALLY INTIMIDATING. haha. washing hair is really really relaxing. havent had my hair washed by a professional since dec. haha. grabbed some food and left after that. i had to rush home for tuition. while joce and nic satisfied their longing to watch eight below. hahah. actually i dont see what's so great abt that show. they both keep insisting it's cryable. ohohoh you know me and nic bought 2 pairs of TWO DAYS OLD NEWBORN'S socks!!! it's so FRIGGING CUTE!=) me and annabel have pink and joce and nic have purple. it's just a pity my phone is the full nonflippable or pushup-able kind. haha.

oh for the chi project, i really have NO IDEA wtf to do. i guess i'm not gg to hand in anything, and accept failing. =
damn shit.

i cant wait for monday!! 2/5!!!!!!! =D i REALLY REALLY want to to happen.

When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is

why is it so different in reality?
honestly? i dont even think you care.

ahhh. i'm relaxed now. =) after all that rushing today. school was...sucky. i was gloomy. the whole day since first period. ended during chinese. haha.

there was a thunderstorm after school. =) haha. before dance, me and annabel decided to talk. so we skipped lunch and sat in her classroom. cos we were both gonna cry just abt anytime. over the same topic? complained alot to each other. talked till we cheered up a little. abt half hour later, we headed to the canteen to meet the other dancers. dana said we should've asked her since she's in the crying mood too.

dana talked to me. she cheered me up too, by telling me stuffs. things that i DREAMED and wished so hard since god-knows-when. obviously that made me happy. yay thanks. =) but there are still many many many doubts that are bugging me. ugh. i NEED to stop thinking so much. ahhhh i miss you SO MUCH!!! where did those times go?

after everything, headed home when jana and chernise and had a quick dinner before rushing off for tuition. i was late, but i couldnt care less. except that my friend had to walk back to fetch me. i felt bad for that. was daydreaming in tuition. not concentrating or focusing at all. thinking about YOU the whole time.

see how much you affect me?

Baby, baby
Baby, don't leave me
Ooh, please don't leave me
All by myself
I've got this burning
Yearning, yearning
Feeling inside me
Ooh, deep inside me
And it hurts so bad
You came into my heart
So tenderly
With a burning love
There's things I could be

going to mug for emath ca now. bye!

was that one in a million?

somehow, i knew it was just too good to be true.

is everything a big fat lie?

you dont have to answer actually. i sorta guessed it right from the start.

after all, nothing good ever happens to me, and THAT, is granting at least half my wishes already. damn. i should've known.

All i see now, is THAT, and THAT. does it help lift my mood? NO. it doesnt. and this morning was shit. SO MUCH FOR EXERCISING and relieveing memories. it's not effing worth seeing that. yeah, i admit, I'M JEALOUS. are you happy now?

obviously right? isnt that what you want?! you've got it! okay, you won. how do you even do it man? anyway, that doesnt matter anymore. thanks to YOU, and EXERCISING and RELIEVEING MEMORIES, my WHOLE mood went DOWN. all i need is a one second glance. i'm so stupid.

and just now, after reading that, my mood went from average to the pits AGAIN. omgggg. i feel that.. as if.. nothing else matters anymore. i was just thinking and thinking and thinking back. it's almost unbelievable, now when i look back. ohhhhh i cant stand it. i have NEVER felt so sad in my life. what makes it worse was that i was SOOO happy during recess, and after, but now, it's like a 180 degree flip? EVERYTHING means NOTHING now. if you get what i mean.

will there even be anything else to look forward to now? i HIGHLY doubt. stupid.

In these eyes
More than words
More than anything that Ive spoken
As the skies turned to gray
My heart's just about to crack open
So the story goes
There’s something you should know
Before I walk away
and I blow the ending

I never wanna be without you
Oh no, here I go
Now you know
What I feel about you
there's no running
I must have been wrong to doubt you

Oh no
There I go
No control
And Im fallen
So now you know

Feel so light
Craving oxygen
All this truth's left me empty
Will you run
Can you handle it
Cause I need you to tell me
Maybe this is bold
But Im hoping youll stay for the happy ending

will you?

hello! haha. dance was fun today! =) we were doing the freeze. and i can do it!!

nic and joce said that they would starve with me. i was freaking touched to hear that, but it turned out to be cos they want me to continue eating. but it's not like it's THAT dramatic right. it's just recess. no big deal what right. and a couple of lunches too, i guess. i cant help myself. no matter what anyone says, i still think i'm fat. i get really disgusted when i stare at myself in the mirror. sigh. i wanna be skinny. anyways. NIC AND JOCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP SKIPPING MEALS JUST COS OF ME. i feel super bad, and the thing is, it defeats the whole purpose, cos you two are freaking skinny already and i dont see any point in skipping meals to make me stop. =(

yay! my nightly routine. i'm looking forward to it now! =)))
wow. see how easy it is for you to make me happy. that was BEFORE i saw that i guess. damn. i want it to happen all over again. EVERYTHING. no matter what i saw, no matter how much i deceive myself and others, deep inside, i know i still want love you.

ohhohoh i forgot to add that i bought nike weights today!!!!!! 2.4 kg. cos the 3kg one at home is too heavy. hahaa. i'm weak. so now i can lift them and tone!!!!! whoo! =))))

hello! haha. i did a bit of physics hw. just started. i HATE pressure. boring, and i dont understand a shit. the relief teacher's lesson is sleepable. i just cant brg myself to pay attention in her class. i'll drift off to slp sooner or later. =
i LOVELOVELOVE BURN THE FLOOR!!! NICEEE! =)))) the seating arrangement SUCKED though. sat at the third row. it was up front. MUCH too front. =\ dont like. but it's so INTERESTING, all the dances combines together, mygod their all so HOT! what's that word? oh yea. SIZZLING! haha. our lingo. lol! they danced nonstop for ard 3 hrs. except for a 15min interval. it's FUN watching. i like! i really really really wanna take up tango. =( but it requires a partner. =( ohoh the music was so FREAKING LOUD, my ears are still numb. =( the floor shook and heart hear throbbed so much. i'm sensitive to noise.=((( covering my ears, while my mummy and aunt beside me didnt wince at all. wth. means i can never go clubbing?!

then we ate at marche. hahaha it reminded me of last june was i was dared to lick up that whole plate of all that crap food. lol. then we left. it's so soon. cos brother still has so much hw to do. wth. i NEED to go shopping.

ohoh you know what? today i looked at myself carefully. and i realised that i'm really FAT!!! my CHEEKS. ohgod. it's not that i'm aneroxic or whatever shit, but i AM. i really wanted to burst. i was DAMN pissed off and sad. i told my maid NOT to cook fried food for me anymore. and i shall try to skip lunch at least twice a week. but i'll confirm eat on mon tue wed cos those days i have dance and i can burn off all those fats. my mum told my maid to cook seperate for me, cos i dont wanna eat those fattening food anymore. =( like salad or sth. sigh. i know it's a LOT of trouble and i feelf REALLY bad, but i really have no choice. i shall skip recess too. =( it's a BIG sacrifice, but i seriously NEED to lose alotalot of weight. ugh. sickening. i'm REALLYREALLY scared i hit 50kg. =((((((

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

i cant help loving you. i want to stop. i dont wanna be another one, but. UGH. it didnt used to be THIS bad.

HELLO!!!!!!!! omg i'm SOOOO happy now! =))

didnt touch any books today except for tuition. YAY!

and! i just finished making sistazinc's blog's template! hurray! hahahah. go see! here.

yay. happy happy happy! =D

YAY! the week is over. finally man. it was a super busy week. hahah. think i'm not gonna do so well this term seeing that i did so badly for geog and chem and chinese. turned out it's the only geog ca this term. bloodyhell. anyway, i suddenly realised this on wednesday. a real friend helps to brg us together. not STEAL YOU AWAY?! esp when she doesnt even want you. wtf?

ooh ytd was FUN. ponned the stupid talk halfway. it's boring like hell. me nic joce sat under the tables to sing and talk. nic sat like a gangster. HAHAH. left during the break. there seriously want any point in going, it's so boring and i dont learn anything. sat in the swing and talked with the both of them. =) annabel came and we did our chant. THE SISTAZ CHANT. hahahah!! i like i like!!! =)))

then left with nic and joce. did the AHH-CHOO thing and hugged at the traffic light. haha. took 10 then changed to 48. that DUMB woman, was saying the stupidest thing in the world, and making me laugh until my throat hurt so bad. stupid! hahaha. and i was laughing laughing and she tried to bang my head on the seat in front. LOL. like she can. i'm too fast! haha! and i didnt recognise my condo and was asking her which was it and she refused to tell me. instead she continued laughing. wth!!

andandand! our train came, and we were standing across the platform waiting for the train. i had forgotten we were heading towards jurong east, not marina bay. LOL. so last minute i shouted, "SHIT! NIC WRONG TRAIN!!" LOL!!! and we dashed for the door. hahah!!! everyone was staring. bloody embarrassing. ohgod. =(( and we ate at the foodcourt even though we were late. stupid! hahah! and on the way to learning lab, saw a GUESS sale!!!! was sotempted to ditch the class and just SHOP!!!! but didnt. since i couldnt bring myself to skip class. hahah. besides, it's already a replacement class. haha. so shopped after class. and in that BIG MESSY PILE OF GUESS CLOTHES, we only found one shirt. hur! pathetic!!! hahah. headed home after that. did the ah-choo thing agn. lol!

it's over, isnt it. nothing can brg those thimes back anymore. i've been a fool to think that it's possible. but it's not. all this time, i'm nothing but STUPID. i hate to say this, but sometimes when i think back, i'll suddenly realise how much i LOVE you. how much i MISS you. the old you, obviously. but it's over i guess. i've had my turn?! now it's someone else's. i have to LEARN TO STOP. it's just too hard. cos i fell in too deep.

MUACK MUACK WAVE WAVE BLOW.

yay i can't wait for tmr(:

love you!


~annabel

eeeks. supposed to be studying for ss. ahh. i'm becoming stupid and dumb. =(( did like shit for both geog and chem. i'm praying for the best for physics and amath spring test. =\

we took the BANG! picture during recess. and another photo of our heads. cos nic insisted that her hair is the brownest. LOL. it turned out to be joce. her hair's so brown. haha.

dance was fun!! the last part esp. KISSKISS WHIRLWHIRL BLOW!

We did some really BIMBOTIC moves and we went outside the studio to take pictures. Annabel taught us the psspsschcchckisskeahhh. Dana taught us the loser!loser!smallloserbigloserbiggerloserYOU!welcometoloserlandthepopulationwantsyou!LOSER! HAHAHA!!! the perfect song for nic. Ceri videoed us doing the kisskisswhirlwhirlblowand POSE! hahaha. since she loves saying loser so much! lol! and mdm khoo came. haha. then we went in to continue. Dana went through the steps for our dance then we left. FUN!!!

then at the traffic light when i was crossing the road i did the kisskisswhirlwhirlBLOW thing with dana! and we exaggerated it. ahaahahha!!!!! gonna show joce and nic tmr!!

omgomgomg i LOVE TAKE THE LEAD!!!!! =))))

I highly recommend it to EVERYONE go watch go watch!!! freaking NICE!! it's so much better than shall we dance. haha. much more exciting. i wanna learn the TANGO!!! ahhh. it's like so nice!! =D

haha T-A-N-G-O! I love the storyline!!! haha. =))))

Can you feel it in your body-ah (can you feel it)
Can you feel it in your body-ah (can you feel it)
Coz I can feel it in my body-ah (I can feel it)
It feels good to my body-ah
To my body, in my body-ah (can you feel it)
Can you feel it in your body-ah (can you feel it)
Coz I can feel it in my body-ah (I can feel it)
It feels good to my body-ah

going out on SUNDAY!!! i CANT WAIT!! I hope nothing messes up and screws our plans. =\
I'm studying abt ireland now, and nothing's going into my head. sigh. and i really dont feel like practicing for math. i feel like i've been doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN. ugh. sick of it.
your beautiful face. i miss being so close to it.

today.. was one really shitty day. came to school feeling stressed like hell since i didnt study for geog. ugh. crammed details in last minute in mummy's car. then when i went into the classroom, copied homework. ugh. my work attitude seriously SUCK. i need to do sth abt it. ahhh. then revise with vidhu for geog. during geog test, ahhhh. i FORGOT EVERY FUCKING THING. i dunno what the FUCK was up with me. like everything. i dont rmb. i'm NOT gonna do well. URGH. WHY am i so damn DUMB?!

was feeling damn low during recess. copied amath hw. =\. just didnt feel like talking. sry joce and nic. but after a while, i was alright already. after that during amath, i was bloody sad again. ahh WTF is WRONG with me???didnt talk to nic the whole of chinese. =(( didnt feel like talking. felt like the pits. we got back chinese ppr. i watched everyone gloating happily that they did well, wishing that i was one of them. i felt a sudden urge of tears. then i was telling myself, "shit, dont cry dont cry just whatever you do DONT CRY." stared into space the entire lesson. blah. i hate my stupidity.

didnt go for chem remedial. had dance. blah blah then i bloody felt sad again.omg WHY!! ahh. like it's so dammit UNPREDICTABLE, i'll just have this wave of sadness. sigh. then went home.almost bloody cried in the bus again. wtf? ahh. what's wrong?? nic called when i came home then i chatted and bitched with her and even continued when i was walking tasha!! hahahahahaha. she kept insisting sth's wrong with tasha. haha. then i sat at the void deck and continued talking until 7plus. watched AI and was online. talked to annabel and dana. THANKS for cheering me up. =)))) yay another ONE tmr. =))))) looking forward!! THANKS FOR FUCKING IGNORING ME.

I HATE YOU. you should jolly well know who you are.

PICTURES!!




this is the devils replica and LOOK AT JOAN!! mean right??



i'll post the rest tmr, anna had to go off so i couldnt receive. =(

friday's recess was.. FUN! SISTAZ INC!!!! I love US. it brings so much memories of last year. annabel brought so many REDUNDANT stuff like hair clips and pins and hair wax. LOL!! hahahahahah. didnt even use. gonna have a real sistaz inc photoshoot in JUNE. =)))) the COMPLETE SIX of us. =))))) when joan came, then we were together, i felt so.. so.. like one part of me was back into place. okay.. that sounded WEIRD. i seriously dont know how to describe it, but it felt good. REALLY good. =) took pictures outside class. =( i miss THOSE TIMES. we re-did the "LIL RED DEVILS" picture. it was the exact same pose gen forced us to do. thenjoan was INSISTING she didnt wanna do it. but in the end she still did. that's so LAST YEAR!!!!! ahhh. i want i want i want 2005!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! then when recess ended SO FREAKING SOON, i wanted to cry. that sounds fucking dumb, but it's true. why the hell must good things end so SOON, but the suffering never ENDS???? argh. then joan left already. anna went back to our class to collect her things. took our last pictures. we were hugging and pissinee took from top view. haha. then... joan came back. hugged her agn. then went to clas to clear up our food. messed up my entire area. lol. and talk a little then joan and ally went past our class. the three of us ran out and chased after them. me and joce were screaming joan's name. we HUGGED again. =)))))) our HEADS totally COLLIDED but i dont give a shit. i was just so HAPPY. i felt so LAST YEAR!!!! if only.. gen was there. sigh. cant wait for june. i seriously hope that joan can come and that joce has days to spare besides preparing for Os. annabel too. i wanna feel the same way i felt today. it really lifted my spirits. i was NEVER so happy in school before. esp not this year. i seriously never felt this way before. so..so.. sentimental and happyhappyhappy!!!! just like the day we had our sleepover. just like the day gen came back. a huge grin was stuck on my face. i doodled a lot in my notebook. like so many pages dedicated to SISTAZ INC. i rmb last time, we were plain EMBARRASSED of our clique's name, but now, it simply just brings back memories.=)))) i miss us.

i messaged joan the period after recess. she misses us too!!!!!! =))))))

i love the SISTAZ. i love the FFIS.

annabel hurry send me the pics!!!! =)))

yay. nic joined tll today. ate at macs with nic and joce today at pp. then took 48 to newton mrt. yay scenic ride. =)) funfun. and we bought two boxes of sweets and mixed them. EQUALLY. so i poured everything on nic's hand then slowly put one grape one strawberry into each box. lol stupid. guess whose shit idea? nic's, DUH! hahahaa.

then went to novena shopped ard. realised we havent bought any jewellry for super long. wow. amazing man. met miss ang! hahaa. she said she was there to do sth abt taxes. then we decided to get a cushion from happyhouse. threeofus. =) but we're waiting for joce to choose together. =)) yay. then walked to united aquare. walked ard. then went up to learning lab. gave nic a tour. haha. then halfway through the lesson we went down to buy food and water. finished TWO BOTTLES during the lesson. hahahaha. two hours. then. laughed a lot. she's freaking lame!!! OMG. she kept giving this DUMB excuse, "I'm new okay." so i have to carry the shit COLD STORAGE bag to the room. in the end i took the sweets she took the two packets of baby biscuit. You know what she freaking did???? she stuffed the whole damn thing into her pocket. LOLOLOLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!! i was laughing until my throat and tummy hurt!!! like a lot. then i was abt to stop laughing, but i see her dumb pocket, i'll be in FITS agn. gosh. then we were standing outside our classroom trying to calm first. nic kept saying, "Can you please freaking shut your mouth and go in???" wth! and nic started laughing in the classroom, and me too. so embarrassing okay! wth! ee so humiliating. all her fault!! ohohohohoh. we're gonna start a BOOK. like a diary. then we can look back at it like 10 years later. =)so cool! wrote down quotes from us and stuff. all the memorable dates. oh my msn nick is the day we formed!!! mid-august. i wish i knew the exact date. boo.

after the lesson we went to popular to get the books and the stationery. =) yay. cant wait to start writing.

ohohoh!!!! SISTAZ INC GATHERING TMR!!!! WHEEEEEEE. RECESS. CANT WAIT. SO LOOKING FORWARD. =))
what-- is that? argh. i cant do anything abt it. freak. i just have to watch and watch and suffer in silence.why? why must it be like that. urgh.

man.. talking to annabel now. relieving those old times. sigh. again. i've been doing that a lot lately. thinking and thinking and thinking. dammit. i want to be a 5iver again.

-annabel- one simple fact says:
postcards
STEPHffi over and over again says:
sigh
-annabel- one simple fact says:
i still have them
-annabel- one simple fact says:
haha
STEPHffi over and over again says:
me too
-annabel- one simple fact says:
rmb blue's concert?
STEPHffi over and over again says:
in one box
STEPHffi over and over again says:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
STEPHffi over and over again says:
sigh!!!!!
STEPHffi over and over again says:
i want those times BACK
STEPHffi over and over again says:
me you gen nic went to my condo
-annabel- one simple fact says:
sigh
-annabel- one simple fact says:
yea
STEPHffi over and over again says:
sigh
-annabel- one simple fact says:
we swam
STEPHffi over and over again says:
rmb the SLIDE!!
-annabel- one simple fact says:
and like laughed so much
STEPHffi over and over again says:
omg!!!!
-annabel- one simple fact says:
yes!!
-annabel- one simple fact says:
LOL
STEPHffi over and over again says:
the slide!!!!
STEPHffi over and over again says:
hahahaha
STEPHffi over and over again says:
that blue pathetic slide
STEPHffi over and over again says:
omg !
STEPHffi over and over again says:
sigh!!!!!
-annabel- one simple fact says:
hahaha
-annabel- one simple fact says:
we were sliding so funnily

blue concert!! ahhh! i want to go back!!! art lesson! music! nic writng g f b c a all those notes ON her recorder! joce writing out the music notes for us cos we cant read those notes for NUTS! aisha and me crapping like hell throughout the lesons! we always suck in our stomach together and i rmb cam commented sth like, "it makes your boobs look bigger." hahahaha! and aisha said, "WOW! TWO-IN-ONE!!" god.. and our SISTAZ INC contract!!!!!! hahahahahahaha. i have annabel's copy in my file. and mrs tan with her toot hair cut! and forever walking into class with that black bag on her arm! hahahaha! and surayah forever saying "take one minute to pick up the litter ard you." everytime she enter class. and atiqah with her zebra pencil case! ZIBI! and aisha with her fingers ppl! mr bunny, mr bob! hhahahahaha! andand! a THOUSAND LEGGED WORM! i rmb jana was singing it to me during cheerleading practice and i couldnt get the song out of my head so i sang with jana and aisha and we planned to go from 1000 to 1. but ended up at 500++. god... i think the sectwos are damn lucky now. it'll be so cool. it'll be so nice to be on second level sitting with aisha jana atiqah wida ann agn. and shouting across the classroom to joce nic joan annabel. and passing notes. haha like everyday, without fail. haha everytime i see aisha anywhere, i'll hug her! =) i miss that crappy fun girl so much!!!

SISTAZ INC!!!! i want us back!!!!!

Yay! scanned some neos on sunday. they were since sec one!!! =))) hahaha.

look at nic's hand!! ahahahahah!!so cute.

took at hearland mall. we went after sch one day just to take neos. lol.


all these were taken in sec one. the first time we went out as a clique. =)))))

SECTWO

after cheerleading first round in march. =))




These were after sports day!


me and gen!! =))) we went to spotlight to buy beads and stuff. shopped at orchard before that.it was on a friday i rmb. =)



gen's farewell party day. shopped before that. our last set of neos when gen was with us. =( took these before lunch at marche.=))

SEC THREE

haha we look like GHOSTS!!




took these the day we went out when gen came back to singapore!! during cny! =D

eh i realised i dont have any with joce and nic this yr. last yr three of us took after flag day in june. haha.

damn i miss 2005 so freaking much. i want it back so bad. =((
cant wait for gen to come back in june. going sentosa to TAN!!! hahahaha. i'm so looking forward!=) but joce has Os. =(( i hope she can come! then it'll be exactly, as nic said, like how we started sistaz inc!!!!! =D

cant wait!

oh god. wth? why must you freaking tell? URGHH!!