okay i'm so fucking upset right now. and UGH i hate this.

annabel's lucky. VERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY lucky.
so is dana.
and jana.

i need skin-thickening lessons.

stayed at home the whole day. physics tuition in the morning. finally understand heat capacity.=) hm. supposed to go to marina square later but i'm too lazy to leave my house. ugh

ahh i canNOT stand this i'm SO FUCKING SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. and IRRITATED. EVERY FREAKING SOUND THAT I HEAR JUST IRRITATES ME. even the normalest of them all like the stupid gas starter. aahdvguadyvguayv

i feel like whining my ass off now.

I NEED SOMEBODY!
not to judge;
but to listen.
not to comment;
but to advise.

WHO man. omg.

helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme.

i think my stupid default expression now is a FROWN.

f
u
c
k.
stupidstupidstupidlife.

dana's so POSITIVE! wish i could get over things just with the snap of my fingers. like her.=)

it's so MUCH EASIER said than done.

i'm looking forward to the performance on thursday. ahh but i'm so unlucky, sth might just happen. and i cant perform. like maybe i'll sprain my ankle or sth. or fall flat on my face when i get off a bus. or trip over a stone. whatever.

oh you know what. jiaying's right. the stupid teacher's day celebration for rosyth is on wednesday, and there's no school on thursday. WOWWWWWWWWWWW. very good. just RUDELY interupted my stupid plans to go back. AHAHAHAHA. wowee. now, not only can i NOT go back, i dont know when's the next time i can meet my friends agn. isnt that just fastastic?!?!?!

have i mentioned lately how much i hate my stupid life?

s
t
u
p
i
d
.

ahh. my eyes hurt.

dance was tiring! but fun=) i have never danced so much non-stop before! i think. not even the preparations for public performance. i'm in group 2 too. learnt the whole bunch of steps today. we kept doing the whole dance again and again. i feel so accomplished! finally drilled the steps into my head alr. i need to perfect them though, let them run smoothly. there're no more double turns, so i'm not worried anymore. went back only at 5.40? but stopped dancing at 5. i perspired like MAD, really. means i lost a LOT of calories! yay. but i probably put them back into my body, ate an ice cream, a bag of chips all by myself plus there's a candy jar sitting right in front of me right now. it's so tempting. =(

i'm so tired, and i'm not in the mugging mood. =(((( i need to start revising for finals soon. this year passed so fast though, i feel like i just learnt kinematics, indices, all those earlier chapters, just last week or sth. ohman, i have t0 memorise so much. for geog hist ss chem. =\

i'm so SICK of saying nevermind.

or forget it.

just as being SICK of saying i'm okay.

or that everything's fine.

when i know too well that i mind, i cant forget it, i'm NOT okay, and that every bloody thing's going wrong.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. so i'm sorry, i cant reply to that. i just dont know what to say.

i want to hug somebody.

=((((((((((

right now, i feel that DANA's freaking sweet.

you dont have to keep apologising? it's over, and we screwed it up.

PROJECT SCREWED-UP DAY -nic

yup. i think that phrase TOTALLY COMPLETELY 100PERCENT-LY fits the description of today.

geog. okay mapreading and shit. whatever.

chinese. ?!?!?!! argh!

pe. redid 5 items, got my gold.

recess. rushed like SHIT for dance. then rushed back to class.

english. had emath spring test, which i can happily DONT KNOW HOW TO DO QUESTION 2 AND THERE GOES 5 FUCKING MARKS. and my stomach can HAPPILY GRUMBLE AND GROWL.

history. almost starved to death. was in a HORRID mood, i didnt want to talk to anyone, the only words out of my mouth was "do you have any food?" then everything made me so mad and grumpy i started tearing. fucking pissed off. i think i'm bringing my own packet of food everyday to EAT after recess since i cant rely on ANYONE to get me food. sad, ISNT IT?! fucking hell. no one, OKAY?

physics. HAH! bloody piece of motherfucking shit! embarrassed and humiliated myself so fucking much in front of the class. GREAT MAN. JUST GRRRRREAT! HAHAHAHA. the first part of the lesson is was already so bloody upset, and STARVED and feeling fucking low. THEN THE PRESENTATION JUST HAD TO HAPPEN, DIDNT IT.

after school, some shit happened, or rather, DIDNT HAPPEN, that made me feel so ARGHHHHH&^%$$%#($(@*@&$!$^*!!!!!! i wanted to KICK STH! intended to go to jana's hse with the ciaps, but because we had to stay in the studio to dig for a banner and spent THIRTYFIVE FREAKING MINUTES waiting for ANY 3 buses, went straight to the bungalow. serena, omg serena's damn freaking niceeeeeee!!!! met her at the traffic light outside school, she was crossing back to school, and she asked me if i was still hungry. obviously i said yes, barely ate anything the whole day.

then she put her hand into her pocket and pulled out a big kitkat bar!!!!! omg, i was so touched and thankful. AHHHHH she's so THOUGHTFUL! omg! =DDDD shouted THANK YOU across the street at her.

shared it with the ciaps=) omg they are GREAT COMPANY! =D when we alighted the bus to walk to the mrt station, i started feeling shitty again cos of the DAMN SHIT weather, and started whining and yelling. then the 4 of us started pointing the the NORMAL-est things and laughing our asses off at them like some mad freaks. which we are. HAHA.=D i love the ciaps!!!!! then dana, the dumb one, suggested to point at sth then scream, HAHA! i pointed to the first aid kit or sth, it's a box that's yellow, and said it's a bomb in disguise. HAHAHAA dana grabbed my hand and screamed and pulled me away. HAHAHA. and annabel and jana were gone. LOL. i saw a trace of annabe'l's black bag, so we ran to them, and they were racing?!?! see who reach there first. stupid people. HAHA. made a fool out of ourselves, but i didnt care. i love their company!

arrived at pasir ris mrt, met zan and daph, then went off to the bungalow first. changed and washed my hair. then left at 4.30. OMG HOW RETARDED IS THAT, HUH! come and leave?! stupid. =((((( i only went for it cos it was learning lab. which is SUPPOSED to be fun. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? TODAY'S LESSON WAS BORING! I REGRET LEAVING! FNSLGIHADOIGAIADA DAMN FREAKING SHITGSLKHBLIAU FVTA.

got my wave hoop at toysrus. yay. finally. =)

then DANA called, to tell me she missed me, omg! hahahaha=) they were at the beach and she wished i was there, awww omg it was so sweet!!!!!! =)))))))))) haha! ey, i knew we were close, but i seriously didnt know we were SO CLOSE til there are times we wont enjoy doing sth as much as we would if the other is there. i love dana! i love the ciaps! =)))))) i really regretted leaving the farewell then. i didnt finish playing thegames, act in the skit, and go to the beach at night, do so many things which i could've done. i really regret going for learning lab! =(

they made my day so much better than when i was in class. =DDDDD ahhh yay i'm freaking thankful for them.

some people just DONT UNDERSTAND.

it's TAKING the initiative to do sth WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

ahaha. i did well for physics!!! my ONLY A1 for a real CA this term. =D yay! i dont even know what's going on for my group's project though, lixiao is doing EVERYTHING. i feel bad.. =(

after school there was DANCE! enjoyed myself loads! but lunch was depressing, LOL there was such a big difference at the lunch table, at the other end, they were laughing and being so happy, and at my end, we were brooding and complaining abt our grades and school and worries. then followed annabel up to class with jana. we were feeling so miserable, and i just thought of sth, if there's like this room, you enter from one door, super down and upset, and you exit out the other, laughing and feeling happyhappyhappy! haha, my impression of the room is made of PINK cotton candy, everything pure and pink and whitish inside. the scent of the sweetness, will just make all your troubles go away. wouldnt that be nice? haha. so annabel suggested to walk down the same staircase laughing. lol. and we DID. on the third level at the corridor, she was ranting and ranting until she cried, but was laughing at the same time? haha. went to the washroom to freshen up and stuff before going down. HAHA it was stupid. our first step down, we burst into laughter, and it wasnt on purpose! just went on laughing hysterically till we reached the void deck. HAHA.

went through our jazz item many many times, then decided to take a break with annabel. she's in group 3, with me! went to the back of the school, and started composing a nonsensical song. LOL. it DID lighten as up, so crappy and dumb and stupid, but it's MEANINGFUL. i suggested to use the tune of goofy goober HAHA. i rmb gen dancing and singing it, and she said grace taught her. so we called grace to ask for the right tune, OMG SO DUMB! we decided to sing to her first when she picked up!

grace: hello
annabel and i: hello grace! are you free?
grace: err..ya?
annabel: okay! 1,2,3!
us: GRACEYGRACEYGRACEYGRACE! SING A SONG FOR US TODAY!
LOL. this was NOT easy, kept bursting into fits or laughter. we even asked her to put the phone away and answer it agn, lol. zan and shihua walked in on us making a fool out of ourselves, HAHA.
then we asked her to sing the goofy goober song, and she did!
us: YAY! GRACEYGRACEYGRACEYGRACE! THANKS FOR SINGING US A SONG TODAY! BYE!
HAHAHAHA, and we hung up. it's so stupid!!!!HAHAHAHAH. then we did it with our little actions and stuff. HAHAHAHA it's really dumb. then made our way to the canteen, singing OUR SONG! =))))) met grace there, and we sung the gracey song to her! LOL. and sang it the whole way back. then taught the CIAPS!!!!! =DDDD included dana's and jana's.=)))) haha. it's just so rubbishy! then went through our part with annabel many many times. and went to the back of the classroom block agn with the ciaps. dana and jana was sad, cos of some dance stuffs.=( poor things. annabel went crazy there, what's NEW. but dana was crazier when it was HER TIME. haha. and went back with jana after we realized the jazz ppl left alr.

i realise i enjoy dance practices more and more. =))

should i study today..? i dont feel like.

and my hair sucks. =(

YAY. just finished bathing and packing. omg it's such a HOT day. i HATE SINGAPORE'S weather!! went to parkway with joce and nic to get my silver paint. joce and nic took unbelieveably LONG to choose their glitter colour, but they did not get it after all. then i took a bus home with joce. we're gonna meet at nic's place ard 3.30. YEAH. sleepover. yay haha omg i'm damn excited! we're going midnight swimming. and bake a cake! nic is going to get strawberries and whipped cream. =D haha i'm bloody excited.

this afternoon was shit. =( it hit me HARD that it's NOT coming back. FUCK.

oh my mum's ready to send me. i'm going over now.

HELLO. just done with my skin. i like the disco ball! the side is wierd though, i want to make it black, but then the links cant be seen. =(

headed to nic's house after school to make my lollipop. surprisingly, it was done within half an hour! haha. left it there for it to dry, nic's brging it to school for me tmr. =) then i'm gg home to finish it up. washed everything, waited for nic to bathe and get changed, and we left to go to learning lab. our class was at the paris classroom. when we entered, mrs.wee told us not to eat cos the doors were transparent, lol, but we still did. seems like nothing can stop us from eating. haha!

i going to do situps then sleep now, i think. NIGHT.

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face

So take a look at me now
When there's just an empty space
And you're comin' back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

i must NOT cry.

it just crumbled before my very eyes.

and it hurts so much.

i dont believe this. AHHH nvm. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

screwed up amath paper. GREAT. lost 10 shitty marks alr. not like i didnt study?!

and i did so badly for emath paper! i HATE trigo, i just DONT KNOW how to apply the bloody formulas!

school was pretty much uneventful, except for before dance, when i went ecstatic, jumping and shrieking all over the place. for that SHORT 3 HOURS. and that swelling happy balloon inside me popped. just like that. it's so sudden, i was just stunned, and speechless, went home right after. i was just so.. diasappointed. =((((((( i really had no mood for anything. planned to lie in my room and fall asleep and hopefully not get up. but i decided not to. diaried and sat myself in front of the tv. got up for dinner, and went back to watch. what am i doing..? i wish these kind of things wont get to me so easily. and i can just be like, "oh, okay." and get over it. with the snap of my fingers. HAH, it isnt that easy.

it's just so WRONG to feel this way.

curious -> happy -> elated -> disappointed/sad/miserable -> back to brooding.

one word to describe today? -horrible.

ha. for one too many reasons. hm. i really dread school. there's NOTHING to look forward to? i'd rather coop myself up in my room and sleep all day.

recessed with the CIAPers. haha. chem was shit, as usual. then had legacy in the void deck. did some rubbish abt glueing two pieces of paper together, then tearing them apart? right. whatever. lol and nic just had to paste the gross glued then torn up paper on my knee. YUCK. hahaha, dana and fiona sat behind us, so we talked to dana most of the time. =) she's so fragile, even more than joce?! unbelieveable.

i think the day got worse as time passed by. sat at the corridor during dance to talk to joce ad nic. said my piece of mind. needed to get it off my chest, thank god they walked past. then annabel joined us.

the later part of dance was fun. spent it with annabel on the swing. =) the most horrendous hoo, of all horrendous hoos. LOL. spent it laughing and screaming. i felt like i was losing my voice. hahahaha, DANA should've been there.

"What comes in a package?"
"CHOCOLATES!"
"WE LOVE CHOCOLATES!"

"What comes in a package?"
"FLOWERS!"
"WE LOVE FLOWERS!"

annabel actually said "shit". haha how gross is that? LOL this ran ard among me annabel and chernise, who was being an extra on the swing, but yet, we didnt let her go off, until we all got up to dance agn. annabel and i talked much. =) abt stuffs. when we were not in fits, that is. lol, we actually each complimented each other? HAHA, we werent being ourselves today. went home with joce after that. the bus ride took longer than usual. and i'm supposed to have tuition now, but she have not come yet. which is good. i'm quite tired anyway.
it's like nothing happened at all. =(
..why the awkwardness?
annabel quoted this line from click,
"Will you still love me in the morning?"
"Always and forever."
it's so SWEET!

all out of love.

AHHHHHHHHHHHomgi'msofuckingslow.

ahh, was pretty disappointed today, we're not dancing for the ASEAN prom anymore, ugh! ms chiam and mrs thong didnt allow us. i think we asked them too late, like on the day of the rehearsal itself. =(((( ahh, okay nvm. but i couldnt stop thinking abt it, like my mood was so lousy for the corner to corner part of dance. =\ dana said it hasnt sunk in into her yet. lol, and that she might just turn up.
dejected, disappointed, demoralised.

yeah, did shake alot of times=), polished up everything, but i hae yet to absorb the new steps. then took 76 home with chernise after dance. and the rest of the journey, i have no idea why, but i started tearing. and felt so sad the whole way home. i dont even know why. =(

i really really really really WANT to, but my fucking courage is failing me. JUST AWESOME.

YAY, just watched the lake house. omg, it's seriously damn nice, i LOVE IT. =)) it's so bloody sweet, omg! but it's impossible.

i have the sudden urge to go to east coast. haha. or sentosa. any beach. argh, cant find the time. hopefully next weekend? it's almost the end of term 3 so i doubt there will be many tests coming up. AHH, i did so badly this term. i think my L1R5 will be so bloody high. hopeless.

haha i'm addicted to latin songs now. =) been listening to them the past couple of nights.

HAHAHA, i just cant stop insulting annabel. YAY. =D stupid horrendous hoo. ahh, i think i'll start revising emath now, then go walk tasha or jog. i'm feeling so lazy..

Yo everybody we're 2e5!
you better get down cause we're alive
woo!, we're hot!
so touch us not!
cause....
we're the bomb,
can you hear us tick
beware if you turn us on
there is no safety switch
we're the bomb
use only safety hands
to mess with us,
you must be a brave class.

How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
I needed the shelter of someone's arms
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Gently touching my emotion

HA.HA.HA.
right.

i dont know, i dont know anymore.

maybe some of us need to stop pretending.
today school was neutral. spent recess with the three biggest idiots ever, DANA JANA and ANNABEL. HAHA. the three idiots were eating, and i wasnt! =D HAH. but they're okay, cos they're slim ppl. lucky asses. yeah, annabel was complaining her head was heavy, so she hung it. then dana saw joce and nic, so i took my barley from them and drank it. we were at the situps area. yeah, then i became so lightheaded. haha.started critisizing annabel, AS USUAL. anyway, it isnt like i hadnt got any insults shot back. haha! uh huh, then we went up to class, ponned a bit of chinese with joce nic dana and annabel. HAHA, omg, laughed so much! =D i love them! then decided to go back to class. surprisingly we got away just like that! laoshi simply nodded and we went to our seats. yeayea! =) yeah, and i became so high, i have no idea why, so i concluded it must've been the barley. lol. laughed at everything, but i was moaning at the same time. abt the usuals. then had geog. HAHA, i was talking to joce on the phone, under the table!!! LOL. across the classroom. then alexa saw, and we conferenced. HAHA. retarded.

after school, waited so damn bloody long for my parents to come, then went to orchard. i got my heels! =DDDD iand i love them! =)))) hahahaha. i tried like 6cm high black stilettos, but i cant walk in them, wth. it isnt comfortable. so i settled with a shorter pair. =)

came back home, and slept.

yay i'm gonna watch tv now. =)

a sorry girl living in a sorry world.

ahhh. hcumydoolbosouyssimi

out of sight, NOT out of mind.

haha, i'm feeling like shit now. GREAT.
i hatehatehate this year.
bloody shit.
everyone's so freaking happy. everyone except me.
serves me right. i pulled myself into this.
no one's fault but mine.
hurray.
WTFH MAN.

hello!
haha=) i get a BIT of circles now. i'm happy! haha, i was so clueless abt them just ytd. i love learning lab! haha, andandand! a staff came into our classroom to ask what we wanted for children's day present. she designed this SUPER nice notebook-diary, A5 size, hahaha, they remind me of agatha de la prada/ aussino. bloody nice, omg! she designed it herself?! haha, she designed sth for the guys too, and every bloody design they shake their heads. LOLLL. i'll just burst out laughing at their pickiness. we suggested to give out ipods or roxy $100 vouchers. HAHA. =)) since their so bloody rich, it'll not be a problem. =D lol. and! this indian guy in our class, did his usual routine, which is wiping his eyes every freakibg 5seconds?!?!! HAHAHAHHAHA. the first time i saw him doing that today, i laughed, and didnt stop for 10 mins. nic insisted we go to the washroom, i was stumbling all over, omg! it might not be funny, but if you see him do the same thing every bloody week, you'll find it highly amusing HAHAHAHA. so.. ya. went to the washroom, cooled down, then headed back to class. hehe. and he did it agn. LOL WTH. had another laughing fit, but i stopped. stupid man. yeah. did 11 questions, that's IMPRESSIVE okay. cos normally we talk so much, we wont get past 5 questions. HAHA. yay!

ohoh, joan and i have the same breed of dogs! schnauzers! the grandfather moustach-y dog! hers is a male though. mine's female, haha. =)
omg, i miss last year!!!!!!!!!

AHH. damn disappointed. ugh, whatever. it's over. ahhh, but i just cant stop thinking abt it, it's so BLOODY DISAPPOINTING. i guess my expectations were set too high.

hmmm.

oh, dance ytd was great fun! HAHAHA. yayayay! TANSHIHUA ANNABELTANG JANALIM are bloody HORRENDOUS assholes. YAY. and annabel sucks!=)) was at the swing with her before dance, omg, laughed until i was so giddy, and she got urgent, so we ran to the washroom. HAHA. and we're both supposedly inexperienced drinkers of packeted tehping. haha. then dance started and started creating signals for shut-ups. haha YAY! ohoh, and i FINALLY found a way to krump for the ending part. =) went home with jana. seems like forever since i last took bus home with her after dance. haha.

i slept so early last night! hit the sack at 8.30! HAHA. cos i couldnt absorb anymore, i was too lazy to even do situps?! haha. so i just went to bed. had a nice DREAM.=) omg, yay. if only dreams come true.. ahhh, didnt want to wake up. it finally happened. wow.

ohman, my whole body's aching, i feel like there isnt a single muscle in my body that's not pain. =\\

oh ytd school was mostly horrible. cos of thatthatthat. didnt just affect me, but nvm.. it's hopefully gonna end soon.

argh, and i'm having that ugh-i'm-so-fat thing agn. =\\