style="position:absolute;left:0; top:0;">
27 May, 2006
1:08 PM
hmmm.
i'll be leaving this country in abt 3 hrs time.
haha, i cant wait to sit in the plane. =) the flight to beijing is abt 6 hrs. haha, i'm gna watch at least 2 movies.
i'm not exactly excited abt the trip though. plus, i'm still recovering. sigh. i dunno.
ahhh, i'm still really annoyed at that. urgh. i was really sincere when i confided in you and those messages.. i really meant it when i said i love you and all those words. i thought you did, too. this is where it leads to? damn shit. you could've warned me, i wouldnt do those things i did. i honestly did care for you and tried to understand you. i told you A LOT. in fact, then, you know a lot more abt me than the others. now i dont know how much things you've blurted. you will just nonchalantly blame everyone but yourself. no matter what, you wont put yourself at fault. is that fair? i dont think so. if i could rewind time, god, i dont know how much things i WONT do. i will definitely not be so super close to you. back then, i didnt know you were like that. you didnt seem like that. urgh. i dunno. i still miss you, duh. we had fun together. but then again. damn shit, you go and- URGH. forget it. i dont even know what i did to you to deserve this. if i did sth really wrong, then fine, go ahead. but i really really cant set my mind on where i went wrong, what i did. is this where our friendship went to? i was really upset when i found out. i get hurt really easily, and i thought that you, of all ppl will be the most aware of that, but yet? ugh. and it hit me that you dont care at all. when i did. damn.
i should stop thinking about it.
i'll be leaving this country in abt 3 hrs time.
haha, i cant wait to sit in the plane. =) the flight to beijing is abt 6 hrs. haha, i'm gna watch at least 2 movies.
i'm not exactly excited abt the trip though. plus, i'm still recovering. sigh. i dunno.
i should stop thinking about it.
26 May, 2006
9:51 PM
hmmm. as i read those stuff.
i think to myself,
you call yourself a friend?
if you do,
you're sure a lousy one at that.
seriously, do you really think you're oh-so-great?
well, if you do, sorry to burst your bubble, missy,
HAH! you're so not.
i may not be all that,
but i know, deep inside,
i've got two really great friends,
who honestly cares.
who arent bitches,
who wont gossip about me behind my back,
who wont EVER backstab me,
who understands,
who will bother to hear me out,
who wont leave me out,
who wont turn their backs on me,
who actually cares abt me,
whom i know i can trust my life on.
even though you obviously think you're so much better off,
i do know i have sth you dont have.
that's JOCE and NIC. =)))
i love you two loads.
so, you can carry on doing whatever you're doing now.
i'll be out of this place in 1 and a 1/2 years anyway.
so long.
oh and i know you're doingTHAT just to rub it into my face,
err, HAHA, but sry, it didnt work.
hmm. maybe that's a wrong way to phrase it.
it's NOT working anymore.
i've got loads more to say.
but i shall just save my breath and
you can go figure.
i'm pretty sure you know what i'm gonna say, anyway.
i think to myself,
you call yourself a friend?
if you do,
you're sure a lousy one at that.
seriously, do you really think you're oh-so-great?
well, if you do, sorry to burst your bubble, missy,
HAH! you're so not.
i may not be all that,
but i know, deep inside,
i've got two really great friends,
who honestly cares.
who arent bitches,
who wont gossip about me behind my back,
who wont EVER backstab me,
who understands,
who will bother to hear me out,
who wont leave me out,
who wont turn their backs on me,
who actually cares abt me,
whom i know i can trust my life on.
even though you obviously think you're so much better off,
i do know i have sth you dont have.
that's JOCE and NIC. =)))
i love you two loads.
so, you can carry on doing whatever you're doing now.
i'll be out of this place in 1 and a 1/2 years anyway.
so long.
oh and i know you're doingTHAT just to rub it into my face,
err, HAHA, but sry, it didnt work.
hmm. maybe that's a wrong way to phrase it.
it's NOT working anymore.
i've got loads more to say.
but i shall just save my breath and
you can go figure.
i'm pretty sure you know what i'm gonna say, anyway.
25 May, 2006
10:01 PM
ooh.. this episode of AI was nicee.=)) actually, i think taylor DOES have his own charisma when he's not having a constipated expression on his face. he looks nicer when he sings, raises his brows, like, he seems charming. but i still prefer katherine. although i had expected taylor to win, he has never been in the bottom before. so i wasnt surprised when nic told me the results this morning. joce was sad though. =(( haha.
hurray! the last day of sch! i'm not gg tmr. still have some books under my table though. haha. chem phy emath. ohwells.
lalala.
i think it's a long day at sch. ms ho dragged the lesson till half of the recess? wth? mad. =((
ee, i'm feeling moody now, i dont like. =(( ugh.
i keep thinking..
of redundant stuff?
that wont make any difference.
what.. okay wth am i saying.
=((((((
ahhh, why am i so sad?
oh, man..
jhsdi fgsuifbvifb siyfvshsdiufhidhskhgsl
rahhhhhhhhhhhh.
hurray! the last day of sch! i'm not gg tmr. still have some books under my table though. haha. chem phy emath. ohwells.
lalala.
i think it's a long day at sch. ms ho dragged the lesson till half of the recess? wth? mad. =((
ee, i'm feeling moody now, i dont like. =(( ugh.
i keep thinking..
of redundant stuff?
that wont make any difference.
what.. okay wth am i saying.
=((((((
ahhh, why am i so sad?
oh, man..
jhsdi fgsuifbvifb siyfvshsdiufhidhskhgsl
rahhhhhhhhhhhh.
IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!!!
omg, i can just cry now. =(((((((((
everything was a lie.
lielielielielielielielielielie=(((((((((
can anything be worse than this?
it happened once, why cant it happen again?
21 May, 2006
4:31 PM
omgomgomgomgggggg =((((((((((
why, WHY did i have to click that?! OMG, DAMN SHIT! arghhhhh.
rahhhhhhhhh.
i should've just STAYED, AWAY!
i want, no, i NEED to scream right NOW! and if not for my throat, i would've.
ARGHHHHH.
i'm scared i start crying again.=((((((
i can just die now.
why, WHY did i have to click that?! OMG, DAMN SHIT! arghhhhh.
rahhhhhhhhh.
i should've just STAYED, AWAY!
i want, no, i NEED to scream right NOW! and if not for my throat, i would've.
ARGHHHHH.
i'm scared i start crying again.=((((((
i can just die now.
20 May, 2006
11:08 PM
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! i love this pic!!! it's so TYPICAL. joce say sth dumb, and laughs at herself, and nic just stares at her and go, "what.." ahahahaha!
joce:umm
joce:i dunno
me:ohh
joce:but i love you!
joce:aww
joce:so sentimental
joce: i'm getting real good at this sentimental thing huh!
me:i love you too!
joce:LOL
hahahahahah!
19 May, 2006
9:24 PM
bleagh. freaking flu. gahh. decided to do the chinese ca after all. since i know what it's abt after all. hmm.
been pretty upset these days at school. i have no mood to do anything but brood. and diary. i cant brg myself to talk or laugh or smile or whatever.i feel bad to the ppl ard me, but i really really cant help myself.. sorry.
urgh, i'm feeling freaking stupid. my grades SUCK.i seriously need to drop that heck it attitude and start studying properly, and NOT get distracted. lvndfsnvslkbgsvajkvabvakj. know how impossible that is? urgh! i'm frustrated.
and! i really really REALLY need to lose ALOT of weight. i cant stand my figure anymore, i'm so FREAKING FAT! i'm gg nuts here. what can i do?! i'm gg to start running agn. in june. hopefully, i will be determined enough to do it EVERYDAY.
the distance is driving me crazy.
been pretty upset these days at school. i have no mood to do anything but brood. and diary. i cant brg myself to talk or laugh or smile or whatever.i feel bad to the ppl ard me, but i really really cant help myself.. sorry.
urgh, i'm feeling freaking stupid. my grades SUCK.i seriously need to drop that heck it attitude and start studying properly, and NOT get distracted. lvndfsnvslkbgsvajkvabvakj. know how impossible that is? urgh! i'm frustrated.
and! i really really REALLY need to lose ALOT of weight. i cant stand my figure anymore, i'm so FREAKING FAT! i'm gg nuts here. what can i do?! i'm gg to start running agn. in june. hopefully, i will be determined enough to do it EVERYDAY.
the distance is driving me crazy.
14 May, 2006
7:01 PM
in the end, we went to joce's hse to do ss project. spent ard 1/2minute doing it. haha. listened to music, danced, sang, talked, laughed, and played. hahaha. we were all squeezing onto joce's bed. hahaha. and tickling and kicking. hahahaha. i think the three of us are just as ticklish. and when me and nic lied together on the bed, joce will come pouncing on us and simply squished btw us. hahaha. so the three of us lied there squishing each other. lol. and nic seems to forever be the one being suffocated. haha. ate lunch and finished watching sisterhood of the travelling pants. god, i love that movie. it's so sentimental.=))) did manymany things there that i will miss a hell lot when we graduate. sigh. and nic will be leaving for america. =((( i'm really scared.. what if sth happens? what if we cant meet at the eiffel tower when we're 25 cos of some problems? what if we lose contact? what if in the way to paris sth happens? what if one of us dies first? what if we fight and never make up? not that we fight, but still.. what if?
okay.. i think i'm worrying too much, as usual. but i cant help it. i learnt from one too many experiences that when i put all my hope on it, it'll never happen. sigh. time really flies. it scares. sooner before i know it, i'll be sitting for Os. then nic will leave. urghh. it's already almost half-year?! omg. doesnt even feel like it i dont believe i've been holding on for almost a year. i didnt know that i can fall in so freaking deep, until after 10 months, i'm not out yet. that's mad. actually, i dont know why i'm doing this to myself. what do i get in return? ugh. i've asked myself this question abt a zillion times. i know, yet i dont do anything abt it. i DID try, i did believe for a while, but after a certain period, i'll go back to THAT state. ugh. pathetic. i wish.. one way or another, i can get out of this state of depression. everything seems to go wrong. i dunno why either. i just want to save myself, cos no one's doing that for me. okay, joce is, but it doesnt work.. ugh. whatever i thought abt yesterday made so much sense, but why am i not doing anything to help myself? and it's like i have NO mood for anything, all i wanna do is sleep. i cant even brg myself to go outdoors to exercise. all i do is just lift weights and crunches and whatever shit AT HOME. without doing any freaking cardio.god. i still have unfinished homework, but i'm not doing it,even if i have time. i just ...have no mood. rahh. irritating.
omgg, i'm feeling fucking miserable. WHY! omg. i'm so stupid.....UGHH.that was how it all started.. omgggg. why cant i just stop lying to myself, and really GENUINELY freaking GIVE UP?! i cant!!! omg. i dont want you to affect my mood so easily! urgh. i wish i can just be like, "so?" instead of getting worked up. and be sad. and angry, at myself and everyone else, and jealous like dunno what shit. part of me want it to be like last time, when everything so so normal, but this teeny part of me just wished that " last time" didnt happen at all. but that's a very very small part. but both wishes are impossible. so what the bloody hell am i talking abt.
okay.. i think i'm worrying too much, as usual. but i cant help it. i learnt from one too many experiences that when i put all my hope on it, it'll never happen. sigh. time really flies. it scares. sooner before i know it, i'll be sitting for Os. then nic will leave. urghh. it's already almost half-year?! omg. doesnt even feel like it i dont believe i've been holding on for almost a year. i didnt know that i can fall in so freaking deep, until after 10 months, i'm not out yet. that's mad. actually, i dont know why i'm doing this to myself. what do i get in return? ugh. i've asked myself this question abt a zillion times. i know, yet i dont do anything abt it. i DID try, i did believe for a while, but after a certain period, i'll go back to THAT state. ugh. pathetic. i wish.. one way or another, i can get out of this state of depression. everything seems to go wrong. i dunno why either. i just want to save myself, cos no one's doing that for me. okay, joce is, but it doesnt work.. ugh. whatever i thought abt yesterday made so much sense, but why am i not doing anything to help myself? and it's like i have NO mood for anything, all i wanna do is sleep. i cant even brg myself to go outdoors to exercise. all i do is just lift weights and crunches and whatever shit AT HOME. without doing any freaking cardio.god. i still have unfinished homework, but i'm not doing it,even if i have time. i just ...have no mood. rahh. irritating.
omgg, i'm feeling fucking miserable. WHY! omg. i'm so stupid.....UGHH.that was how it all started.. omgggg. why cant i just stop lying to myself, and really GENUINELY freaking GIVE UP?! i cant!!! omg. i dont want you to affect my mood so easily! urgh. i wish i can just be like, "so?" instead of getting worked up. and be sad. and angry, at myself and everyone else, and jealous like dunno what shit. part of me want it to be like last time, when everything so so normal, but this teeny part of me just wished that " last time" didnt happen at all. but that's a very very small part. but both wishes are impossible. so what the bloody hell am i talking abt.
13 May, 2006
11:07 PM
urgh! i'm not freaking going to watch grease anymore. AHHHH. stupid!! the show starts at 8 or sth and i'm only returning to singapore at 11 at NIGHT. DAMN SHIT!!!!! and to think i was so BLOODY EXCITED?! omg, how unfair can it get. it's just a matter of bloody hours. omg wtf.
ahgauygavysvisaygsvysikhsifhivhsvshvoiashvasipv
AHHHHHHHH. i'm feeling so grumpy. =(
bleagh.
the dammit dye is left at sch so our plan to dye hair also went down the drain. THAT's how unlucky we are. URGH.
stupid.
going to syazanna's hse tmr to do ss. rehearse. then i'm meeting my family at equinox for high tea. i really hope i dont get lost. and i have to get my mum sth too.
damn shit, my L1R5 for this term is gg to be freaking high. arghh, i hate being so stupid. damndamndamndamn. i'm gonna make use of june to study. i hope i really do, not just say. i'm scared that i dont have the mood to study, and just wanna go out everyday. =(((( i cant. have to bloody force myself to study. and i want to join a fitness club too. but almost every club requires a personal trainer for me, cos i'm underaged. wth. and gofitness is closed. before i even joined. what shit.
mygod, i'm feeling so freaking shitty.
ahgauygavysvisaygsvysikhsifhivhsvshvoiashvasipv
AHHHHHHHH. i'm feeling so grumpy. =(
bleagh.
the dammit dye is left at sch so our plan to dye hair also went down the drain. THAT's how unlucky we are. URGH.
stupid.
going to syazanna's hse tmr to do ss. rehearse. then i'm meeting my family at equinox for high tea. i really hope i dont get lost. and i have to get my mum sth too.
damn shit, my L1R5 for this term is gg to be freaking high. arghh, i hate being so stupid. damndamndamndamn. i'm gonna make use of june to study. i hope i really do, not just say. i'm scared that i dont have the mood to study, and just wanna go out everyday. =(((( i cant. have to bloody force myself to study. and i want to join a fitness club too. but almost every club requires a personal trainer for me, cos i'm underaged. wth. and gofitness is closed. before i even joined. what shit.
mygod, i'm feeling so freaking shitty.
09 May, 2006
8:38 PM
wow, i slept so early last night! hahah. right after so you think you can dance. joce called, then i told her i was gonna sleep. haha. appearantly she went to bed too. school's wearing us out.
ytd's dance was SO FREAKING FUN. hahahahah, DANA's so NICE to talk to!!!! i just LOVE chatting with her! we were both not GUESTS, so we could chat and laze ard in the studio. yay. i'm starting to not mind being a guest already.=) yay, COS I HAVE DANA WITH ME! haha. i think i'll die of boredom if i'm the ONLY non-guest. anyways. we were chatting and chatting, and every 10 seconds, she would pull out strands of my hair and mess it up. i had so much fun! talking and talking and gossiping and wondering. hahah. CHERNISE kept wanting to know who i was talking abt. hahah refused to tell her.
then ms chiam sepearted me from the three of them. dana chernise and yanyan. =( so embarrassing okay! omg. watched the performance ALONE, then dana joined me after a while. talked in hushed voices and STRETCHED. before we knew it, we had our backs on the floor, looking at the ceiling and talking. it seems like we'll never run out of things to say, haha. =)) it was funny, we were stretching our hands up, and comparing, hahah.=) ohohoh it was exactly like what me joce nic did in obs, second night during the expedition. just that we had their backpacks under our heads and it was on the sand. hahah. so me and dana talked and talked and talked, and i was so happy, laughed so much. hahah. told her everything, =) i love that woman!!!
ohoh, before dance me jana and dana were in our classroom talking and talking. planned to skip lunch just to talk. haha=) ate at thirtyfive cents shop though. OH they have JOLLY JOES!!! i was so happy when i saw!!!!! ahhhhhahhahahaha. been waiting for it. i bought 5 packets. =)
then before we knew it, it was time to go, so i left with jana and chernise. hahahh, and that woman's been bugging me who me and dana was talking abt!! LOL. well, she found out after dance, though i didnt tell. haha.
had chinese dance today, then i left after that, didnt do carnival da dance=( ALL my muscles are ACHING and i was bloody exhausted. sigh.
tmr there's physics formative. should i study for it? dont feel like. =(
but i dont get it, why HER? i DONT see anything ohsogreat abt her. i really dont understand. of all people? why must you be so protective of her..and love her so much, and care so much for her, and laugh at everything she says,and shower her with EVERYTHING that i wanted FIRST. yeah! i admit. i'm jealous. and SUPER envious of her. WHAT i dont understand is why it's HER and not anyone else. why not..well,..me?
oh yeah, i agree with nic, ohh DAMN the country. singapore suck. "Singapore prevents you from wearing a lot of clothes, doing a lot of things." i agree COMPLETELY!! what's up with this shit place?? AhhhhND my face has been SUPER oily lately, i keeo having the urge to wash it. =( i hate the stupid humid whether, the education system, the smartness of everyone, the pressure, EVERYTHING abt singapore. UGH.
it's not like i can help it.
i've TRIED.
ytd's dance was SO FREAKING FUN. hahahahah, DANA's so NICE to talk to!!!! i just LOVE chatting with her! we were both not GUESTS, so we could chat and laze ard in the studio. yay. i'm starting to not mind being a guest already.=) yay, COS I HAVE DANA WITH ME! haha. i think i'll die of boredom if i'm the ONLY non-guest. anyways. we were chatting and chatting, and every 10 seconds, she would pull out strands of my hair and mess it up. i had so much fun! talking and talking and gossiping and wondering. hahah. CHERNISE kept wanting to know who i was talking abt. hahah refused to tell her.
then ms chiam sepearted me from the three of them. dana chernise and yanyan. =( so embarrassing okay! omg. watched the performance ALONE, then dana joined me after a while. talked in hushed voices and STRETCHED. before we knew it, we had our backs on the floor, looking at the ceiling and talking. it seems like we'll never run out of things to say, haha. =)) it was funny, we were stretching our hands up, and comparing, hahah.=) ohohoh it was exactly like what me joce nic did in obs, second night during the expedition. just that we had their backpacks under our heads and it was on the sand. hahah. so me and dana talked and talked and talked, and i was so happy, laughed so much. hahah. told her everything, =) i love that woman!!!
ohoh, before dance me jana and dana were in our classroom talking and talking. planned to skip lunch just to talk. haha=) ate at thirtyfive cents shop though. OH they have JOLLY JOES!!! i was so happy when i saw!!!!! ahhhhhahhahahaha. been waiting for it. i bought 5 packets. =)
then before we knew it, it was time to go, so i left with jana and chernise. hahahh, and that woman's been bugging me who me and dana was talking abt!! LOL. well, she found out after dance, though i didnt tell. haha.
had chinese dance today, then i left after that, didnt do carnival da dance=( ALL my muscles are ACHING and i was bloody exhausted. sigh.
tmr there's physics formative. should i study for it? dont feel like. =(
but i dont get it, why HER? i DONT see anything ohsogreat abt her. i really dont understand. of all people? why must you be so protective of her..and love her so much, and care so much for her, and laugh at everything she says,and shower her with EVERYTHING that i wanted FIRST. yeah! i admit. i'm jealous. and SUPER envious of her. WHAT i dont understand is why it's HER and not anyone else. why not..well,..me?
oh yeah, i agree with nic, ohh DAMN the country. singapore suck. "Singapore prevents you from wearing a lot of clothes, doing a lot of things." i agree COMPLETELY!! what's up with this shit place?? AhhhhND my face has been SUPER oily lately, i keeo having the urge to wash it. =( i hate the stupid humid whether, the education system, the smartness of everyone, the pressure, EVERYTHING abt singapore. UGH.
07 May, 2006
9:03 PM
haha. my cheeks are pink now. and my lips are feeling dry. went to joce's condo to swim, and nic, as usual was tardy. by 1 whole hr. and still dared to waste time and not swim. sat there stoning on the chair. haha. me and joce threatened to throw her into the pool if she still dont change. we dragged her there, and all we needed was one last push, and she's in the pool already, but she gave in and decided to change, and still sat there?! OMG i've never seen anyone lazier than her. haha. wanted to swim 30 laps but i was exhausted after 2. that's how weak my lungs are.=( and my arm muscles ached like hell too.
ohoh you know what? i was standing up on the ground adjusting my goggles and nic was in the water, she said that my arms muscles are obvious. LOL yay!! hahahaha. =) swam somemore. and the both of them clamoured onto my back. OMG you know i felt like DROWNING?! =( they're so mean,, just dont care and continue LAUGHING. lol. then i tried to get to the edge to hold on cos the both of them were struggling on my back for dunno what shit reason, and make me feel like i was gonna drown underwater. nic told us that there was once she and her brother was drowning, and they just pushed each other underwater just to get oxygen. hahaha i was so scared she did the same for me!! i just dont trust anyone when it comes to water. haha. we sat by the fountain and talked for quite long. haha. and complained abt some stuff. haha.and joce told me what nic stupidly did. LOL dumb. then when onto the baby slide and played and went back to swim somemore, so i think in all i swam 6-7 laps? PATHETIC.
i'm so unfit now.. and so fat..=(((( damn shit. i wish i was slimmer. plus i ate so much today, it defeats the whole purpose of exercising, and i gained back all the calories i had lost. =( arghh, i just hate myself for not being determined enough to STOP snacking once and for all, i keep eating macs now, it's so unhealthy. i rmb last year during dec, i didnt touch a candy bar or any fast food at all, and i kept going to the gym to work out. now..? argh.
so anyway, went to the toilet and we bathed together with our swim suits on. haha. squeezed into one cubicle with the door open HAHA. and we helped one another scrub backs and wash hair. lol. then went to separate cubicles to change.
went up to joce's hse and talked. listened to them sing. the fast forwarded version was SCARY, didnt even sound like them!! i was freaked out. sounded like some robot computery voice. scary. haha. then i left after a while.
haha and joce was screeching on the phone to me just now before she had to put down. like SCREECHING like a bloofy crow. LOL. and we were reading our archives and making fun of our english. gosh, it was disgusting. haha EW.
ohoh you know what? i was standing up on the ground adjusting my goggles and nic was in the water, she said that my arms muscles are obvious. LOL yay!! hahahaha. =) swam somemore. and the both of them clamoured onto my back. OMG you know i felt like DROWNING?! =( they're so mean,, just dont care and continue LAUGHING. lol. then i tried to get to the edge to hold on cos the both of them were struggling on my back for dunno what shit reason, and make me feel like i was gonna drown underwater. nic told us that there was once she and her brother was drowning, and they just pushed each other underwater just to get oxygen. hahaha i was so scared she did the same for me!! i just dont trust anyone when it comes to water. haha. we sat by the fountain and talked for quite long. haha. and complained abt some stuff. haha.and joce told me what nic stupidly did. LOL dumb. then when onto the baby slide and played and went back to swim somemore, so i think in all i swam 6-7 laps? PATHETIC.
i'm so unfit now.. and so fat..=(((( damn shit. i wish i was slimmer. plus i ate so much today, it defeats the whole purpose of exercising, and i gained back all the calories i had lost. =( arghh, i just hate myself for not being determined enough to STOP snacking once and for all, i keep eating macs now, it's so unhealthy. i rmb last year during dec, i didnt touch a candy bar or any fast food at all, and i kept going to the gym to work out. now..? argh.
so anyway, went to the toilet and we bathed together with our swim suits on. haha. squeezed into one cubicle with the door open HAHA. and we helped one another scrub backs and wash hair. lol. then went to separate cubicles to change.
went up to joce's hse and talked. listened to them sing. the fast forwarded version was SCARY, didnt even sound like them!! i was freaked out. sounded like some robot computery voice. scary. haha. then i left after a while.
haha and joce was screeching on the phone to me just now before she had to put down. like SCREECHING like a bloofy crow. LOL. and we were reading our archives and making fun of our english. gosh, it was disgusting. haha EW.
05 May, 2006
11:12 PM
omg i'm feeling so rotton now. ahhhh. thank god tmr no sch. i think this mood will last a couple of days. i need to do sth. EVERY-BLOODY-THING'S GOING WRONG. I HATE IT. OMG WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE THAT? I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THE HELL TO TRUST NOW, AND I HAVE TO BE SO BLOODY CAUTIOUS ABT EVERY FREAKING WORD THAT ESCAPES MY LIPS AND WHAT I DO. OMG I HATE IT I HATE IT STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID FUCKING SHIT I CAN JUST DIE NOW.
EVERYTHING IS BLOODY KILLING ME. SEEING EVERYTHING THAT'S GG ON NOW JUST MAKES ME FEEL EVEN WORSE. I DONT EVEN NEED TO SEE IT TO KNOW WTH IS GG ON. IT'S THAT BAD.
AHHHHH. WTF HAPPENED TO THOSE DAYS?!
oh and thanks joce, for your mail.=)
EVERYTHING IS BLOODY KILLING ME. SEEING EVERYTHING THAT'S GG ON NOW JUST MAKES ME FEEL EVEN WORSE. I DONT EVEN NEED TO SEE IT TO KNOW WTH IS GG ON. IT'S THAT BAD.
AHHHHH. WTF HAPPENED TO THOSE DAYS?!
oh and thanks joce, for your mail.=)
7:33 PM
the day passed super slowly today. hmm. ytd too. during physics, which was a free period, nic told me some things, and everything went like. BLACK. i dont really know how to describe it, but.. i felt so drained out and hopeless and just.. didnt wanna talk. appearantly nic too? so joce was desperately trying to cheer us up and making us talk. i wanted to okay, i swear, i wanted to FORGET everything and talk or sing or whatever crap. with the both of them. i tried, i really really tried. shifted my weight, opened my mouth, looked around, i did everything i could to just, force myself to say something, but i just cant bring myself too. i dunno what to say. =((((( i'm REALLYREALLYREALLY sorry joce. =(((( i thought i'm not supposed to anymore?
ytd too. the whole morning, i was feeling gloomy. i didnt really talk until pe. joce was trying to talk to me, to cheer me up, but according to nic, i ignored her?! OMG how mean can i get?! ahhhhhhh. WHY. felt fucking demoralised ytd during chinese when i randomly picked out words to fill in the blanks. i didnt wanna write anyhting so i just stoned there but nic told me to just guess the answers. omg, why am i so fucking dumb? i HATED everything at that moment. cursing and swearing under my breath. =((( urghhh. i think i'm ungrateful. at least i have a best friend to cheer me and nic up when we're sad. THANKS SO MUCH JOCE I LOVE YOU!
today during tuition nic called me and started cursing. LOLL. after talking to her for like 1minute, i told her to go call joce instead. LOL. omg. but i felt sad after hearing what she complained to me abt. ahhhh. =(
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
what am i supposed to feel now? i dont wanna be jealous anymore. i thought it was over that day. now? it's over right? i wanna be just friends, it feels so good to be free.
some people just get all the luck.
whie others get NONE.
i thought it was YOU dancing up there.
i saw the same pretty face.
ytd too. the whole morning, i was feeling gloomy. i didnt really talk until pe. joce was trying to talk to me, to cheer me up, but according to nic, i ignored her?! OMG how mean can i get?! ahhhhhhh. WHY. felt fucking demoralised ytd during chinese when i randomly picked out words to fill in the blanks. i didnt wanna write anyhting so i just stoned there but nic told me to just guess the answers. omg, why am i so fucking dumb? i HATED everything at that moment. cursing and swearing under my breath. =((( urghhh. i think i'm ungrateful. at least i have a best friend to cheer me and nic up when we're sad. THANKS SO MUCH JOCE I LOVE YOU!
today during tuition nic called me and started cursing. LOLL. after talking to her for like 1minute, i told her to go call joce instead. LOL. omg. but i felt sad after hearing what she complained to me abt. ahhhh. =(
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
what am i supposed to feel now? i dont wanna be jealous anymore. i thought it was over that day. now? it's over right? i wanna be just friends, it feels so good to be free.
some people just get all the luck.
whie others get NONE.
i thought it was YOU dancing up there.
i saw the same pretty face.
02 May, 2006
9:39 PM
I LOVE 2/5!!!!!!!
ytd was fun. =) met joce to go to pp. since we were early, we shopped ard trying clothes. then met the other niner fivers. went grocery shopping. haha. nic insisted on pushing the trolley and banged everything. lol!
headed to sch and waited for the other 5ivers. steph yap's hilarious. hahahaha!! she came in a skirt which she tore and sewn on patches. rather messily, i might add. hahahaha. then walked to ally's hse. filled water balloons, which was a total waste of time! hahaha! omg we filled for so long, and everything had popped in 2 mins. LOL. dumb. and! omg we were stuffing the balloons into our shirts and! you know how GIGANTIC joce's chest was?!! OMG i was laughing my head off!!! like she only stuffed the ballonns THERE. ahahahahhahaah!!! so cute!! annabel and grace stuffed them into their pockets, and like threequarters are the balloons were sticking out!! hahahah it was freaking amusing. and cos of using our shirts as buckets, all of the material in front extended. haha. played cherades next. hahaha, it was funny acting and guessing. and joan! omg she sat there to arrange the cards and chose for us! and insisted we used her choice. LOL. stupid.
it started raining so we dashed to the building up to ally's hse. hahah during the movie me and annabel were practising the freeze and stretching. haha! we went to the washroom to style our hair and talk. she braided mine! though it's so short. haha. danced and took pictures too.
after the movie, we headed down to the pit. it was left with a few of us. dah nic joce joan and grace. played pictionary and bridge. haha. at least, we tried to. then joce shrieked pointed to joan's shirt. i looked over and saw this blackish pruny grossy thing. thought it was a beetle, and joce ran away!!!! hahahahah! and dah touched it and held it up. i was wondering why she was so brave to actually touch it until someone said it's a rasin. LOL! i felt freaking stupid and dumb!! hahhaha!!! i yelled over to joce who was a good 5 metres away from the rasin to come back. hahahahaha. she refused to?! lol!! she's.. dumber. hahahahah. played truth or dare. and joan was sitting like a monk! her eyes were half closed. haha, typical. like last year when we did grp projects or whatever, she'll start dozing off. after some time, we left.
cabbed home. took a bath and worked out for an hour to slim down. haha. my arm and stomach muscles ache A LOT now. ahh. but i see results! lol yay.
I MISS 2/5!!!!!!!
ytd was fun. =) met joce to go to pp. since we were early, we shopped ard trying clothes. then met the other niner fivers. went grocery shopping. haha. nic insisted on pushing the trolley and banged everything. lol!
headed to sch and waited for the other 5ivers. steph yap's hilarious. hahahaha!! she came in a skirt which she tore and sewn on patches. rather messily, i might add. hahahaha. then walked to ally's hse. filled water balloons, which was a total waste of time! hahaha! omg we filled for so long, and everything had popped in 2 mins. LOL. dumb. and! omg we were stuffing the balloons into our shirts and! you know how GIGANTIC joce's chest was?!! OMG i was laughing my head off!!! like she only stuffed the ballonns THERE. ahahahahhahaah!!! so cute!! annabel and grace stuffed them into their pockets, and like threequarters are the balloons were sticking out!! hahahah it was freaking amusing. and cos of using our shirts as buckets, all of the material in front extended. haha. played cherades next. hahaha, it was funny acting and guessing. and joan! omg she sat there to arrange the cards and chose for us! and insisted we used her choice. LOL. stupid.
it started raining so we dashed to the building up to ally's hse. hahah during the movie me and annabel were practising the freeze and stretching. haha! we went to the washroom to style our hair and talk. she braided mine! though it's so short. haha. danced and took pictures too.
after the movie, we headed down to the pit. it was left with a few of us. dah nic joce joan and grace. played pictionary and bridge. haha. at least, we tried to. then joce shrieked pointed to joan's shirt. i looked over and saw this blackish pruny grossy thing. thought it was a beetle, and joce ran away!!!! hahahahah! and dah touched it and held it up. i was wondering why she was so brave to actually touch it until someone said it's a rasin. LOL! i felt freaking stupid and dumb!! hahhaha!!! i yelled over to joce who was a good 5 metres away from the rasin to come back. hahahahaha. she refused to?! lol!! she's.. dumber. hahahahah. played truth or dare. and joan was sitting like a monk! her eyes were half closed. haha, typical. like last year when we did grp projects or whatever, she'll start dozing off. after some time, we left.
cabbed home. took a bath and worked out for an hour to slim down. haha. my arm and stomach muscles ache A LOT now. ahh. but i see results! lol yay.
I MISS 2/5!!!!!!!