when i see you smile

2007-06-25T21:17:00.000+08:00

It's been too long
Don't think I've seen you smile at me for quite a while
And we're too busy doing things
We haven't noticed what's missing
Where's the fun we used to have?
My childish ways and your sarcasm
Silly jokes and fairy tales
Where did we leave them?
Lost in the backyard
Your lasso my tiara
My wand, your plastic bazooka
Why can't we be how we were
In the backyard

Your cowboy hat, my tutu
You hide and seek, I catch you
Why can't we be how we were in the backyard
Simple days of hand in hand
And drawing our names in the sand
Somehow life just complicates
Our buried treasure it just waits
Lost in the backyard
You can still meet me in the garden
You and I and hide behind the rosebed
You and I
You and I
Lost in the backyard again

backyard- natasha bedingfield
I had a shock when i read the lyrics. ha

http://www.xanga.com/alluring_temptation

out.

2007-06-11T18:42:00.000+08:00

I got a brand new laptop YEAH!:D I'm gonna decorate it soon, cant wait:)

CONFIDENT COMMUNICATOR wasnt as fun as empower u, but it was just as interesting, cos i get to meet new people and most importantly, MEET MY CLASSMATES AGAIN!!!! S4L-OO75(T), i actually memorised my class number! GOD I'VE MISSED THEM SO MUCH! cant believe 3 months flew by JUST LIKE THAT. It was awesome to see them all again. Just that ryan and grace didnt come. :( It was around 80-100 people, half of that of empower u. but i felt that empower u was more powerful, and i'm sure many people would think so too. this.. they dont really force us to bond with your group.

BUT you could see that our class is the most bonded one in there. EVERY break for lunch, tea, dinner, we're ALWAYS together. As a class. :D man, i love us! When i looked around, the rest of the room is splitted into small groups, pairs, or threesomes. I was so proud os us! Yeah, it was lovely. and on the last day, for 3quarters of the day our whole class swapped name tags. haha, and i got alex's. and guess what? he picked mine too! funny, cos i've always liked the girl's name alex.

The whole 2and a half day course was filled with activities, and games, all with a purpose. I guess i'm kinda glad for this, i got to know some of my classmates i seldom spoke to before. now i got to know rahavan, satice(i thought it was satish), and yongkian better. we were put in the same group as weishi and like 14, 15 others? rahavan is SUCH a joker. i've always knew he was a funny guy, but not THIS humorous. the "that's right, expert" game was HILARIOUS!! couldnt stop laughing. and i met another claudia in my group, she's a dancer too! haha, and now i know how little derek knows about history, "A few years ago, empress dowager cixi screwed up and made the whole of China broke, cos she uhh screwed up and China up." LOL the whole room burst out laughing. and rahavan and his "my mum LOVES bowling like crazy", weishi(she was the 'host' for the That's right expert:Parent's special), "oh, interesting, how often does she usually bowl?" rahavan, "About.. once.. in her life?" HAHHAA. and alex and his pole dance! That cracked everyone up! Watched the truman show in three parts, about how this guy's life is controlled all the time. Found it rather confusing.

On saturday night i was up till three, and when i came home on sunday i brushed my teeth and slept. almost overslept this morning, thank god mummy woke me up.

Man, i havent been studying at ALL damn this is bad. i should start. REALLY start and STOP procrstinating.
okay, tomorrow:)

2007-05-31T12:59:00.000+08:00

Got my darling RED ~~obsession~~N76! :D

when i saw it on display i thought it looked so plastic-ly cheap, but there wasnt many options to choose from. AND i wanted another nokia. I'm BEYOND grateful for the BIGGG keypads, had so much trouble typing with my previous n72. i miss my pink phone though:( It matched my camera, they were both the same shade of pink.

goodness my eyes are so tired! swimming with horrendous HOO:)) SATISFIED. I really want to keep this up. walked over to sing post for seaweed shaker fries, mmmm! They were worth the wait. OHOHOH! BEL SAID I LOOKED LIKE A MERMAID WHEN I SWIM! Hahaha, i was so delighted to hear that!:D and we planned to watch all the disney princesses movie one day, HAHA! cos we didnt really understand them last time.

Met bel to swim on tuesday too, with joce. i felt dead to the world, didnt have any connection to anyone, or the time. Turned up 25minutes late. Joce joined us 40minutes later, swam for a bit, and we waited for bel to shower, and swam somemore. went up to her house to bathe and we bused to my place. we did math and read and took photos and talked. Walked her to the bus-stop at 8, i think. then i had dinner and tv-ed and slept.

I was suffering from insomnia last night, it was frustrating! The first few hours were okay, lied in bed thinking, then it got irritating when i tried to sleep but couldn't. So i got out of bed and looked through my photo album. and last month's victoria's secret catalogue. then i went back to bed, still couldnt sleep. i wanted to get out and have a movie marathon by myself but i remembered the dvd player was transferred to my parents' room, theirs spoilt, i think. I guess somehow, i drifted to sleep cos i wasnt awake when my alarm rang this morning.

Cant believe there's school tomorrow, i already got used to staying home. Meeting hoo in the morning for macs breakfast. That's something to look forward to:)

2007-05-23T17:43:00.000+08:00

WHOO blogger works now! It's been screwy the past few times on my comp.

i had a absurdly early dinner just now, havent been lunching these days cos of chinese intensive. had macs delivery, i asked for nuggets and they freaking gave me fillet o fish. which i DO NOT EAT, EW! but it was too late when i realised it, so i had no other choice. That was my first fillet o fish in my life. with the exception of syf day, when mrsthong ordered it, but i only had a few pinches of the burger.

I'm waiting my for chinese tuition to start, my brother's inside now. and i hear my tutor screaming at him. haha. it's so much more fun than chinese intensive. UGHHHHHHHHHH, whenever i think of chinese intensive i feel suffocated. wasting 1h15mins of my life everyday for the past couple of days. OOOOH i cant wait for friday 3.30!:D but i'm starting to understand a TEENSY bit now, and i actually get some of her jokes! hahaha it's a BIG improvement, i didnt get a thing last time. sometimes i even find her comical. but i laugh like 5mins after she said something. man, i'm slow:(

i dont feel the pressure for the imminent chinese Os! damn, that's bad. i wanna do well! a b4 PLEASEEEE!!!

All the could-be's buzzin' 'round
My mind a thousand-timely cloud
And now I can not see the sun

All the worries on my list
Rush like lamings off a cliff
I'm powerless to save even one

All my friends tell me I'm thinking too much
It's not over 'til it's over
Because today is trouble enough
Live tomorrow, 'til tomorrow

I'm not jinxing what could be
Second guessing what I see
There is you and there is me
No what if's
My crossing fingers knocking wood
'cause worrying about we could
Spoil the moment when it's good
No more what ifs
Could-be's
One day's
If only's

2007-05-16T09:46:00.000+08:00

So if you wanna run, run and disappear,
You and I can bust our way right out of here.

Together we can
Shoot the moon, stop the rain even ride a hurricane, If we wanna
Together we can
Walk into space, save the human race, do you think we oughta, oughta?

2007-05-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

my mobile's gone.

in the bus. when it was INSIDE my bag. i was replying my thirteen unread messages from last night and today, then i put it in my bag and dozed off. the whole time, my hands were ON TOP of my bag. when my eyes opened, it was reaching my stop. i scrambled off without checing. usually i would make sure my phone, wallet and ipod's inside before i actually get up. but i didnt get the chance to this time.

after i hopped off, checked my bag for everything. couldnt find my phone. not wanting to panic by the roadside, i hurried home to search for it. threw my bag on the floor when i got to my room and emptied out everything. my famous amos cookies, pencil case, ipod, wallet, camera, waterbottle, necessities kit, boyfriend-shirt, PE shirt, my diary were sprawled all over the floor,but my phone was nowhere in sight.

went to my parents' room to tell them. all i got was a nonchalant respond. wasnt surprised, and i couldnt blame them. after all, this is my like what, third, fourth phone i've lost? fabulous.

called M1 to terminate my line. the nice lady on the other end told me that they would send me a sim card tomorrow. but for what, i thought. my 2500++ messages that i refused to delete, contacts and pictures, they're all gone. and i dont even HAVE a phone to put the sim card in. plus there are no nokias worth looking twice at currently.

how on earth did my phone get out of my bag with my hand on it? it's a wonder. my mum is always saying, "What's not meant to be yours, isnt meant to be yours." guess she's right.

i feel like i'm in such a daze right now.

worked on joce's birthday present. it's really nice, even if i do say so myself.

lunched at kfc with dumb bel and loser dana. it was nice, being with them. linking arms, flashing our pink as petals smile, laughing and joking all through the basement of parkway. warm feeling inside.

i'm surprised that i'm not devastated over the loss of my phone, like how i would be last time. whining and complaining and cursing and possibly crying?

how i'm going to get on with life without a mobile, i genuinely have no idea. it'll be a miricle. i'm overly-dependent on it. i mean, who isnt?

I wish I knew what I know now
I swear it never would've went down
Dangerous
He'll steal your heart away, then run and play
He's dangerous
Protect your heart, he'll tear it apart
Dangerous
He'll steal your heart away, then run and play
He's dangerous
Protect your heart, he'll tear it apart

2007-05-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

THANKS BLOGGER. THANKS FOR BEING A BITCH. or perhaps it's just my comp.

the past few times i have to blog on my xanga and copy and paste onto blogger. but there's some stuff i just cant do! and i DONT want to chnge, i've been using blogger since sec 1. and there're too many memories there. though most of which there's nothing to parade about.

ANYWAY! i have an announcement to make: I. LOVE. DUMB BEL AND LOSER DANA ____________ MUCH! i cant find a description suitably strong enough to fill in the blank.
spent the the WHOLE day rom 12noon with them. with the exception of the morning in the gym with neelima. but i bet to those two sleeping pigs, it's the whole day. :D it was undescribably fun.
we intended to meet to get things done, but we totally went off-track and spent the day... SHOPPING! hahaha. i blew a freaking big hole in my wallet, spent more than i thought i would. but it's all worth it. i thought i couldnt shop with people, but appearantly with them, i can. :D good, good.

took three sets of neos, OMG IT WAS ____________ FUN!!!!!!!! again, no description. ahhh! the machines ROCK, it's PERFECT! we were swooning over the turn-out.
walked SO MUCH, my feet hurt, an those two poor souls, they were clanking and clocking in their heels. i feel their pain. there was once i wore, i had to stop at every bench i see, it hurts so much! i wore pumps today, yet my feet were aching terribly. and the weather still sucked.

ohohoh! today, we met no less than EIGHT groups of tkgians. on the way to plaza sing, at plaza sing and at orchard. haha! :) i felt so STRONGLY that i would meet a particular someone in heeren. maybe cos i saw her on the way there before, but turned out i didnt. i actually felt that she was INSIDE the mall. but we met mel and two of her friends at hmv. haha, and we were so excited to see them! either one of those two dumbasses screamed when we spotted her. oh, and dana canNOT stop SQUACKING! like a bird! a parrot, to be exact.

dinner at lido. saw another group of tkgians there. talked somemore, and expressed our appreciation for each other, haha! ah, love them to insy weeny itsy smallish pieces. and while we
were on the way out, dana pointed out that we're all related.

her and bel: glenegles and 18th and 19th of oct(which SADLY falls on study week)
me and dana: our blood and families. its freaky how we're so similar
me and bel: a history which will only happen once in a lifetime, most probably. which makes us
bonded somehow, mysteriously.

went around somemore, and headed home. it's just too bad i my train came so fast. didnt even say goodbye properly.

to end it off, I LOVE THEM, AND I'M DESPERATELY LOOKING FORWARD TO OUR NEXT'S.

If I get lost in what I'm doing
Baby I just forget to call
I know you love me, love me through it all
I could be on the road to ruin
Beating my head against the wall
I know you love me, love me through it all

2007-05-07T21:42:00.001+08:00

O-V-E-R, O-V-E-R, MIDS ARE O-V-E-R! WHOO!

oh, joy! :D

though i think i studied harder for finals last year, i'm more confident about this. not THAT confident, i just. know my work better. probably cos it's the second time learnng the same old stuff. which is good, of course:) but there's only 4 chapters of geog this time, which is a hell lot lesser to memorise, yet i didnt even manage to squeeze in time to study history. actually sat for the paper without studying for it, i dont believe i did that, it was my first time not revising for a major exam. woke up at 3 in the morning to breeze through china first part, which didnt come out. the whole bunch of junk i wrote on civil war in russia and stalin was totally based on whatever i remembered from last finals, which was damn vague. i dont know, i can only pray for a pass. physics was alrigh though! i really DONT want to fail it anymore. but i had a mental blockduring amath, my stupid runny nose and my throbbing headache didnt do it any good either. whatever, it's over.

hit town today! FINALLY! it felt like eternity since i had so much of a glimpse of that place. went to suntec before that, we took 10 in the school's side direction just to change over to a 14, when we could've just taken 10 from across the road.

the weather was being an insufferable JERK all day. i dont want the rain to go away. it was already so HUMID in the morning. anyway. lunched at nydc, the music was so good! we were pleasantly talking and chatting about the usual stuff, like school, childhood, families, then it was diverted to phobias, and we were asking nonsensical senseless questions like, whether joce would die if she was given the choice to be in a room with beatle for an hour or die, nic, whether she would touch a butterfly for her life, ad joce suddenly popped the question, "would you rather eat a doll or die?"

i lost my appetite after that.

eeeeyucks. the resemblence of the humongous meatballs they served with my spagetti with a doll's head was uncanny. still, i forced the other food down anyway. haha, but it's not her fault i've got an imagination too wild for my own good.

headed to orchard, fully intending to try on wigs. nic wanted one with bangs and i wanted to try on a wavy-haired one. but we failed to, cos the minute i stepped into the shop, the mannequins all looked so spooky, with their half-opened eyes. UGH. and also we have to pay to try on wigs. cos they cost ard $300 to 400. hmm. didnt know. walked around , there was actually nothing much to do, since the three of us prefer shopping alone, and not in a group. haha, i find that there's more stuff to buy whenever i'm on my own. :) but that's bad too, because there'll be no one to stop me from getting anything, and i'll start spending uncontrollably. i NEED to learn how to save. i keep saying i will, i will, and plan schemes to help me stop spending, but they NEVER tend to work.

left for home after a couple more hours of getting things done. i got my black hair chopstick! but it's so short, god knows how am i supposed to make it hold up my hair for a whole day.

oh, there was dance today, i think. i miss it so much! got the direct impact on the tuesday after syf, i was suddenly aware that there was no more finding serene for lunch. ah, i lost the mood to talk about it, but i remember that tuesday i was super sad. after 2 years of chinese dance. and when we were first allocated to it, we did nothing but to complain and critisize it and feel embarrassed and whatnot. i remember, we snatched EVERY opportunity to grumble, "i hate chinese dance." with that "zzz" face. hah. how dumb. should've just grabbed that chance to enjoy it, so i wont regret as much as i do now. and i'ld jump at every chance to skip it, back in sec 2. haha. those days.

man, i must make full use of this period to MUG HARD for prelims and Os. i must do well! but of course, i'm gonna rest first. :) then back to memorising, reading, practicing etcetc.

YAY. another day out tomorrow. haha with HORRENDOUS and my BLOODSISTER. i'm going to the gym before that. i think. if i can actually force myself to get up.

OPERATION MYXOFITIVE, here i come!:D

2007-03-20T22:25:00.000+08:00

Cause our song is the slamming screen door
Sneaking out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
Cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have"
And when I got home, before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

2007-03-20T20:06:00.000+08:00

i still have no idea why the hell am i in pigtails!

ACE!!!!

and again

and again!

CONFERENCE GROUP

omg i love them!

DELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!! she's the reason why i'm even here!:DDDDDDDDDD

2007-03-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

haha i was sampling somebody shop product when neelima took it on the 8th lesson during lunch break.

EMPOWER U, baby!

me hazel hsinyu

claudia hsinyu me

neelima weishi me

weishi

hafiz! he was theone that held up my wood block during the board break!

nigel!

claudia!

my badge:))

GRADUATION DAY, 18.03.07

lunch at pastamania:)

LOLLLLLLLLLL alex tee's baby girl named BUBBLE TEE! haha wth

HAHAHA derek looks like a little kid!

this was before the balloon game, which i was DAMN scared and reluctant to play, and derek konghwee alex suraj had to protect me and eunice cos we were too chicken, but hey! i stamped on sathice's balloon in the end! hahaha who knew i would dare to do it.

ohman photobucket's screwing up on me now! i'll upload the rest another time.

school tmr! and i still have undone homework.

2007-03-18T20:38:00.000+08:00

S4L-7065(T), I'LL MISS Y'ALL LIKE CRAZYYYY!!!!!!!

oh my god. 9 lessons just flew by like that. i honestly cant believe it. when i first got the schedule, 18th of march seemed like 10 more years away. and we've all graduated today. the class was FUN, i loved every single moment of it. and since i knew it would be going to end soon, i was trying to soak up everything. ohmygoodness, my sundays will NEVER be the same again.

damn.

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

gave our speeches to our parents. i was effing disappointed mum didnt come. really. the mood to recite my speech was somehow dampened. but i said it anyway, as usual, shivering and trembling like crazy and umm-ing a lot. damn, i hope the confident communicator in june will cut off all these habits. CONFIDENT COMMUNICATOR! ahh! i'll get to see my class again! WOO! ohohoh, ACE WON! i still remember the third lesson, we were second last, derek was saying, "nvm, we still have 6 more lessons, we'll catch up." and slowly, we DID! haha, got the THE WORLD AT YOUR FEET book, written by dale and brent! haha thank god i didnt buy it at empower u. lol, now derek has THREE books. took photos after the ceremony, ACE and conference group(me weishi derek and alex(he hasnt called yet though)) and the whole class, man, i love them! why do all good things come to an end? why cant time just freeze for a bit? :(

i'll upload the pictures later!:)

2007-03-15T22:44:00.000+08:00

CIPed with the dancers!:) at SGH, met at outram mrt, and i got lost, called bel, and i tapped in just to tap out from the other exit, the sgh side. it was a LOOONG walk to the actual place, and jamie and zan were walking so fast! haha the rest of us trailed behind. had my polar breakfast, and we got splitted up. i was assigned to the pharmacy with bel. our job was just to unpack, re-stack, and secure the pills together with a rubberband. haha bel said it was so easy she could laugh. chatted and ipod-ed for the 5 hours while repacking the pills. then left for queensway, i was so excited cos i could FINALLY get more fbts(couldnt find them anywhere) and my SHOULDER BAG! but you know what. combed the whole damn place couldnt find the perfect one. and queensway SERIOUSLY reminds me of the beijing shopping centres! the whole mall is like a place, it gives me the dodgy insecure feeling AND. omg. there were freaking MANNIQUINS EVERYWHEREEEEEE! :((((((((( i was so scared and wary about my every step.

went to novena square VELOCITY after that, got my lonsdale bag! brown!:) and now. i'm bloody BROKE. spent over 300 just this week, and i only went shopping twice including today. wth?! :((( i'mjust so damn GLAD i dont have to use my bacpack anymore. shouldnt even have gotten it, but i guess it's a lesson learnt: backpacks werent made for me.

had learning lab, i was already half an hour late! and that NICOLE WONG! she wasnt even there yet. turned out she was trying clothes at espirit. i told her all about my empower you, it's almost like her adam khoo course! omg and i got all excited telling her all about the course and the people. i miss it like crazy!

after the class, i went around trying to find an optician who checks eyesight for contacts. and there wasnt one in united square, so i walked over to novena square, and i found an optician. my eyesight hasnt deproved but i have astigmatism! like 25 and 50degrees. i got 4 boxes stocked up! had dinner and left. oh, it's in a new building! novena square 2. so there's like 3 parts. and i saw so many interesting shops! i have to go there someday to check it out!:)

ahhh, i realized there's still so much chem to be done:(

2007-03-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

EMPOWER U

i miss it like crazy, i really do:(((( it's so SHORT, only2anda1/2 days. it was truckloads of fun. we still had to take down notes and stuff, but it was NEVER boring, not if you have DALE and BRENT as your speakers. brent is the funniest guy on the planet, i swear. he has the whole room consisting of 150+ people doubled over, laughing hysterically. omgoodness.. i miss it so much! i wanna go back again!!on friday, it was the introduction and a couple of activities and dinner, saturday and sunday was so much more energetic. we were grouped up on saturday morning, initially my class wanted to be in the same group, but we were grouped according to numbers and animals. like the 1s are dogs, 2s are cats and blahblahblah. we were blindfolded and gad to make our animal sounds to find our group member. and with 150++ people in the room, i'm telling yu, it ISNT an easy job. it was a TOTAL CHAOS. and i'm claustroophobic, i felt like i was suffocating and i'll die from lack of oxygen, so i had to tiptoe and breath and i was fiddling with my blindfold the whole time, grasping on to my groupmates, i was FREAKING SCARED, especially with the BIG BURLY people going "MOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at the top of their lungs, everyone was just brushing and jerking their way around, it was so uncomfortable! but we all managed to find our groups, i was in the CATS:)) there's this guy in my group, benedict, he's my p4 classmate!! the one who was crazy about gen, HAHA! but he said it was a joke when i asked him. LOL:D oh, and EVERY single time we come back from a break or lunch or dinner, they would have the room in darkness, but there would be thumping disco lights, and we would dance following the team assists on stage. you could see that most of us wouldnt dare to do much at first, but by sunday, everyone in the room were dancing like mad asses. i swear it's a hell load of fun!! and we had to hug a minimum amount of people before we could return to our seats. i learnt so much during these twoanda1/2 days, and it first, brent told all of us that the program would change our lives forever, it's kinda true. omg i love it!!!!!!!! i felt that the most meaningful thing was the board-break on saturaday, everyone went mad after that, dancing and jumping around. it's so much freaking FUN! and on sunday, we had a mind journay, the whole room was darkened and music will be playing, we would just listen to dale's voice, THAT session left me crying and crying, the team assists were going round relaxing our shoulders, and hafiz went around giving out tissue. i think that got me really awoken, especially after seeing what was going on in my mind. and after that, we were made to write a letter to our parents, which they would mail, i cried harder with every single word i wrote. that was SO valuable, hell, i'm EFFING GLAD i went for that course! we did so many activities within that short period of time, and every one of them will hold an important lesson behind them. i REALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY WANNA GO BACK!!!! went to shaw's macs after the finale, which dragged, everyone was hugging everyone, there were people tearing, took photos, swapped numbers, last hugs, it's just so unbearable to leave!!!!:(((( anyway. yeah. walked to macs, and i realized i was the only girl among everyone! 8 of us went. haha it was fun, talking, laughing, gossiping away. left at 11plus, daddy fetched me home.

AHHHH, I MISS THE DANCING, THE PEOPLE, ALL THE FRIENDS I MADE, THE CATS, THE SHITTY HOSPITAL FOOD, THE INCESSANT CHEERING, THE WAR-CRY, DALE AND BRENT, THE TEAM ASSISTS, THE SONGS, THE MIND JOURNEYS, THE PUNISHER(a gianormous watergun which all of us avoided on saturday, but we were ALL asking for it on sunday), THE GAMES, THE CHALLENGES, EVERY DAMN THING WE DID THERE? I MISS IT. soooooooooo bloody much.

dammit. i knew this was going to happen, i imagined it on friday night already, of me missing it, of the finale on sunday, and i tried my best to treasure every single moment of it during the entire program. and you know what? this sunday, it'll be my lastest last mindchamps class:((((((((((((( i'll be so bloody miserable when it ends! after 2+ months only! it's so damn short! :(((((( damndamndamndamndamning shit.

and i have to mug, mug, mug the whole of this week. my grades are like crap:(

2007-03-02T19:29:00.000+08:00

yay! tuition's cancelled. i hate tuitions in the evening, it's the time when i'm tired and cant stop yawning.

ran with horrendous this morning, there's this dark area at the circular block. and that's the part that made me continue cos i dont wanna stop at that place, its so spooky, totally dark. and the first time we saw that we were so scared we ran holding hands. LOL. and we laughed at how ridiculous we were, and let go. haha. but i love running in the morning, its so quiet and dim. and horrendous hoo is a nice person to run with:)

had sausage macmuffin and tea for breakfast. and went to the field, tried sitting on the cut-open macs plastic bag, but she was sitting on most of it, so i was on the field itself already. haha, it's so nice looking up at the clouds and the sky.

we ran on tuesday too, except that day, we bathed in the school shower. brought flips and shampoo facial wash shower gel conditioner towel and all. the water felt like freaking 0degrees. like buckets of melted ice poured all over you. i couldnt stop shrieking, it was so cold! and the rest of the day? suffered from a nasty cold.

i need a shoulder bag URGENTLY. damn.

haha dana and i went crazy in the library, realised we took the same picture, personalised differently, and it was ANNABEL-inspired. hahaha! same format too!

felt like shit after school. GRRRRR i hate it! omg i have no idea wtf i'm doing. intended to go right home after school, but there's this O level talk and i was with dana after that. she's so damn huggable, and i love her so much, thanks for everything you've provided me for. went to the washroom, for a while, then to class, also for a while, then to our sweet sanctuary, then to the waffle shop. she thought we were supposed to buy and leave, but we stayed on the couch for around..an hour plus? sat there talking. about school, mostly. shared stuff with each other,i can tell you that, she's one helluva great person to talk to when you're down, i left that shop feeling so much better than when i walked in. and it's crazy how close we got, i only REALLY knew her in march/april last year. i remember how i looked forward to the short period when i finished my chinese dance item, and she finished her malay, and we would sit or lie down talking while the guests performed. during the cats on string practices.it's always on wednesdays:) and almost a year later, nothing altered, we're still as close as ever, and if something DID change, it's that we got closer. cabbed home at around 4plus. there was a thundestorm:D got half my body drenched just stepping from the bus stop into the cab. i wanted to stay there longer, i felt that we could stay til dark and we still wouldnt run out of the things to say. but we both knew that we had to leave:(
i couldnt stop looking at it that night, it was the only one i had.

All this truth's left me empty
Will you run
Can you handle it
Cause I need you to tell me
Maybe this is bold
But I’m hoping you’ll stay for the happy ending

2007-02-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

TORN-letoya luckett
a part of me wants to leave you alone.
a part of me wants for you to come home.
a part of me says i'm living a lie.
(and i'm better off without you.)
a part of me says to think it through.
a part of me says i'm over you.
a part of me wants to say goodbye.
a part of me is asking why...

a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think we're over and done you do something to get me back loving you.
and you got me just torn.

torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (i really want to be with you)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.

there were no issues when we started out.
it was cool.
it was everything that love's about.
but something happened.
plus i feel it's over now.
(cuz i can't understand you now.) now oh
(i just can't understand you now.)
a part of me says it's all my fault.
a part of me says "he ain't what you want."
a part of me says to get my bags.
a part of me says i can't do that.

a part of me wants to leave.
but a part of me wants to be here with you.
and everytime i think that it's over and done you make me fall back in love.
you got me just torn.

torn in between the two. (between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.(you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.
and you got me just torn in between the two. (torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (telling me i should leave)
leave you alone. (alone)
leave you alone. (alone)

so many times i... (i was ready to go)
so many times i... (had my foot out the door)
so many times i... (i thought to give him a chance, thought he'd be a better man)
now i'm sitting here and i'm so confused.
cuz i keep fighting myself for you. (i don't know how much more i can take but i can't feel this way)
(you got me so torn)

torn in between the two. (oh yeah)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (but i don't know)
and you got me just torn in between the two. (should i stay or should i go)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i don't know)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (you alone)
leave you alone.
leave you alone. (you alone)

and you got me just torn in between the two. (i'm torn in between the two)
cuz i really wanna be with you. (i really wanna be with you)
but something's telling me i should leave you alone. (but i don't know)
leave you alone.
leave you alone.

and you got me just torn in between the two.
cuz i really wanna be with you.
but something's telling me i should leave you alone.
leave you alone.
leave you alone.

heard this song ages ago. but í only REALLY listened to the lyrics last night.
and it'll hurt looking over to realise you wont be there no more.

2007-02-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

this cny weekend has been bliss. if only everyday was like that. staying in a hotel, shopping, gyming, swimming ating, sleeping etc. my life would be pretty damn perfect.

checked into marriot on saturday ard 12, had a buffet lunch at their restaurant, then i went up to drop my stuff and went ard town. and i could feel a blister coming along in my heels, so after a couple of hours i went back to the room to change to a pair of comfy shoes. haha and i continued shopping, it was fruitful=) and when i was in warehouse's fitting room, mum called and asked me to meet her at tangs, to get a pyjamas since we all forgotten to pack that in. hahaha. she was at fitness first with dad, working out. went into the paris hilton-ish room again! but it was a tad bit smaller than the one i went in with nic and joce. then after deciding on the ones i wanted, i went out to look at the stuff displayed there. i think they were all body lotions. and in the drawers there were some purses and hair stuff. you know those masquerade-ish feathers they wear in their hair..? hha yeah i got two=)) a brooch like thingy which i wore on my head anyway and a feathery hair chopstick. it's so nice i couldnt stop admiring it for quite some time. then we walked back to the room. lazed around, waited for everyone to bathe, i used my brother's laptop, then finally went for dinner at the chinese restaurant downstairs at 8.30. i didnt appreciate much of the food, skipped the whole second course cos it's mostly sharks fin soup and some scallop thing, and i dont drink sharks fin cos it's so damn cruel, and i DONT eat scallop. ew! went up, watched whatever was on tv that night, and i stayed online til about 2. and when i went to bed, i realized my brother took up both mine and his side. so i shoved him til the other end and slept. and that wasnt an easy feat, seeing that he was refusing to budge.

surprisingly, i was the first to rise and shine. =) at..8? went to some foodplace near nus, everywhere was closed. it's like some dead town. then went back to the room, changed and headd for the gym. i followed mummy to body attack at one raffles quay. and you actually need a pass to enter the building. the instructor was freeaking gay, i can TOTALLY imagine nic doubling over, laughing her ass off at him, probably at every sentence and action he made. i was bloody amused, and couldnt stop giggling to myself half the time. i was dead and on the verge of collapsing after the class. and mum wanted to stay for latin jazz. haha and i was like, "forget it." and i insisted on eating. even though i was still full from breakfast. so we went to this foodcourt across the road and i had korean noodles=)) went back to the room and i rested on the bed for awhile before heading down to the pool. it was nice, i love the way they had the platforms positioned on the pool itself. and i was hungry again, so i ordered snacks from the poolside cafe. and th water was only 1.2m! i wanted to show my dad that i finally learnt how to trek water in the deep pool. i only learnt that last june, when gen joce nic forced me to go there. and he didnt believe me when i told him i could do it, which i cant blame him for that seeing that i hardly dare to even let myself float in the shallow pool initially without holding on to te railings. yeah, then went up, took a lomg bubble bath with joce's soap and headed for dinner at the restaurant by the poolside, the view of the sky was beautiful. went up after dinner, and i fell asleep unknowingly. twas supposed to stay til 11 to watch the wedding crashers on hbo.

got up the next day, walked around town hunting for breakfast, and settled at macs, since my brother has been craving for it. went back to the room, played monopoly for a couple of hours. then bathed and packed, and headed to lido. watched dreamgirls. it's REALLY NICE, bloody meaningful. and a bit sad.. whenever i watch these movies that has one think or another to do with drugs, i'd really wish drugs had never came about. it's sad the way people die cos of that. =( headed home after the movie and unpacked. which i HATE. it's so annoying. then watched hot chick on chanel 5, i love that show! it's hilarious.

it seems so long ago, when we've only checked out today itself. =(can you believe it, i didnt touch a book all weekend! damn, i could get used to this. but the ugly fact that mid-years is in 2 months time just scare the crap out of me. barely over 8 weeks! i must get down to some serious studying by the end of this week.=\

2007-02-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

LUNCH WITH THE DANCERS

=) i really enjoy their company. though it was sucha short time. haha after pastamania-ing, we went around parkway cam whoring. and talked a lot.

and when we were about to leave, i was telling dana some stuff that got us both teary. haha she was SO CUTE! when i was talking on and on, she fanned my face with her hand occasionally. and she was silent most of the time. then she reached out to hug me when i was done, and we were both tearing. AT THE BUBBLETEA SHOP OMG. it's not some silent place, but a buzzing and noisy place like the bubbletea shop. hahaha and i rmb jana exclaiming,"Dana, why are you crying?! it's steph whose talking then you're crying." hahaha it's damn funny. and it led all of us to a new topic. bused home with nat and jamie. and we were just talking unwarily on the bus. haha but it was nice talkingto them:)

the ciaps scrapbook:)))))

nic's and joce jigsaw puzzle and the ciaps collage!

christmas presents from my two LOVELIES

:))))

valentine's.

=DDD

CIAPS

aww bel's crying too!

haha i couldnt stop carrassing the photos!

HAHAHA guess what made me smile. their freaking thoughtful.

LOL this was after i read their messages.

i love them like CRAZYYYYYYYYYY

they're gianormous GLAMOUROUS cushion!

NAMETAGS ARE COOL!

2007-02-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

Why cant they understand the way we feel,
They just don't trust what they cant explain,
I know we're different,
But deep inside us,
We're not that different at all

is this when i'm supposed to be over the moon?

2007-02-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOODNESSSSSSSSS! thanks okay everyone! hahaha ESPECIALLY to NIC and JOCE and the CIAPS. omg !

haha nic told me to go to school later, but i didnt expect to be yellow-slip late! the traffic really sucked. haha twas trying to cram in physics in the car. and i wanted to go for breakfast so i didnt have to stand in front of the whole school to be scolded and booked, but decided not to. so i walked slowly to school from tkss where i asked my parents to drop me off. haha and met amelia and chatted with her for a bit. yada yada yada and headed to class, but i ran into joce and nic before that when they were crouching behind the building, and they shoo-ed me away. omg haha i went to the ladies to wash my face and when walking back to class i met them again ahhh and they showed me their presents omg! :))))))) and i went to class and saw tat GARGANTUAN cushion, they they did ALL BY THEMSELVES i was shocked. it was so damn glamourous! and they side that was facing me was the leopard print/cheetah spots! hahaand ALL the sides are damn nice, there's a glittery pink one and the 2005ZANY cloth, but in green, and theis mystical purplishblue and a red velvet and the faint green one, omg it's bloody nice, and their both like the world's biggest screw-uppers, yet they managed to come up with that! omgg... and TWENTY nail varnishes packeged DAMN nicely in the spotlight lace, and this calendar with our pictures, and a jigsaw puzzle of us in the pulau samaukau place! it's all bloody impressive, ahh i love you two lot okay!

ahahaha, and i was packing my table and i saw this piece of paper that wrote HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH and jana dana bel and shihua signed it, i was thinking, oh. OMG they shocked me during recess, dana dragged me to the classroom block field, and back to class to get my camera, and back to the field again. then i saw jana beland shi holding some stuffies, ahh, i was happy! :DDD i couldnt really make it out from far, but they gave me SIXTEEN colourful DAISIES,a scrapbook, and this huge collage! and shihua put this paper tiara on me that dana made herself! it's so NICEEEEEEEEEEE! we sat there and took pictures and i browsed through the scrapbook, go to annabel's blog for pictures: http://-inexcess.blogspot.com it's so nice and sentimental! then it was gettinh hot, so we went to the void deck, and when i read their messages i started crying, their so sweet and touching yet funny! omgoodness! i love them all so bloody much, felt like the luckiest girl ever!

ohman, thanks okay! everyone who gave me presents and wished me at 12:)))))

oh and thank god daddy could fetch me home today, i'ld have no idea what to do if he couldnt, haha like EVERTHING couldnt fit inyo the backseat, i needed to put so much onto my lap too! haha omg! felt so damn blessed! and before that dance was fun! :)))))))))) cheraded and danced around.

oh and when i got home, i was vacuuming my cushion, so i could put it in my room, when my dad was like, "oh, what's that?" at this little package on the dining table that i didnt even notice. i walked over and saw a red packet and a box with the freaking word 'PRADA' on it, i grabbed it and untied the ribbon and lifted the lid, it's a bloody wallet! yeah it's leather! it's not in black though, but i was so freaking happy, i really did NOT expect my mum to get it for me! ya but it turned out my dad bought it last week when i asked. and i thought they havent gotten me anything yet, and are gonna give me belated! then we went for dinner i was asking my mum to help me change it to black or some other nicer colour, but my dad was like, "oh, i was so confident you'll like it!" and "it's the latest colour!" and "i was proud of myself on finally doing sth right!"cos he's ALWAYS getting screwed up stuff that she doesnt like, like a diamond rind which has a gold frame or a prada bag with a GOLD buckle or some pair of shoes which isnt nice at all, haha and i rmb my mum complaining to me that my dad has no taste at all, which is kinda true actually. then i felt so bad so i didnt wanna change it anymore. and my mum was also saying she doubted it could be changed, cos she tried the previous time. ohwell. so i told my dad i'm sticking to it.

ooh, now there's valentine's to look forward to! yay! :D

i havent started revising for amath! i'm really screwed..
the non-existent cherry on top of my sundae

2007-02-09T22:34:00.000+08:00

ohmygod, it would be SO much nicer if i felt it too.
ahh, it's getting hotter by the day:( i want the chilly weather back! i cant imagine waiting for the bus day after day in the sweltering sun. ohman and ms tee scared me during physics, talking about Os. my attitude towards studying isnt right, i know it isnt. it's just so HARD to force myself to study more. it's like, i only mug when there's a CA coming up. i dont revise whatever's taught long ago, or read up for the next lesson. i'm seriously afraid i make the same mistake as last year, studying too late.

and i just rmbed i have other homework to do. a summary and an essay. omg, and i have NO time at all tmr! SHIT. chinese tuition in the morning, english tuition in the afternoon, and we're going to top of the M to celebrate my birthday at night. which is so early, but i dont have a chice since there's school on tuesday. :( i wish it fell on a friday, like nic's! and there's dance on monday too. but nevertheless, i seriously cant wait!=DDD

I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want you
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

2007-02-06T18:27:00.000+08:00

Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do

All my days and all my nights
I sit up pouring is this right
Will you only take me for what you want
When you whisper in my ear, you make my problems disappear
Sometimes I don't know where you're coming from
I feel my senses turn around,
I can't believe the love I've found
Then I ask myself can this be wrong

Somethings you just cant control, theres no way of letting go
You could let me down it only takes time
Things I may live to regret
Wishing that we'd never met
Hard to see my way but loves so blind
Oh my head is spinning round
Can't believe this feeling now
I wish I knew whats going on in my mind

[Chorus]

If you want what I want
But I see what you don't
We need some understanding
You gotta let me know
If I want what you want
And you see what I don't
Don't try and be demanding
You've gotta take it slow

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do

Don't you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I wanna be in love
No I don't wanna be a fool for you
Don't you know
I Don't wanna hear you say
Yours has gotta be the way
You only do the things you want to do
Don't you know

this song's stuck in my head again.

didnt study any crap at all. i was supposed to revise physics! did 550 crunches with horrendous after school, i dont feel accomplished at all!! that's not good:(( and i snacked like crazy just now, despite my sore throat.

psst psst kiss swish shhhh poof! haha we were lying there for a while before i left. the special place. =) got home only at 3.50.

school's always a bore. there's nothing special these days. and! i di badly for the last question in the chem ca! i was happily doing the first part, glad that i studied those, and i practiced so much on flowcharts!! and the flowchart that came out, i did nothing relatively CLOSE to it. crap. oh and during emath, leesn confiscated the piece of paper neelima and i were writing and throwing at each other, i was bloody reluctant to give it to her, it was full of rambly nonsense! about chuckie and some shit neelima was singing. i was freaking scared she read it aloud, which, wouldnt be of any surprise if she did. wth. i was just thanking god it's not my diary or whatever, there's no chance whatsoever of getting it back from her. but still! ugh "you think i dont know what you're doing is it?" IT IRKS ME.

cheer up camille, you dont have to go to italy just to be satisfied! =)))

one's nice and one's not.
one's mean and one's sensitive.
one's direct and one's oblivious.
it's just my luck i want the current.

i always seem to be chasing the wildest dreams.

2007-02-04T21:14:00.000+08:00

ohmygoodness. i want it the stoppppppppp. that bloody fluttering.

DAMMIT.

ohman. i'm not looking forward to anything anymore. and WHY?! cos i've turned into a COMPLETE coward and i'm too scared to do anything. and it makes things worse. UGH.

i need to set my priorities right.

2007-02-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

i swear this stinks.
i dont know what i'm thinking. it's a freaking mess UGH. and to think that ytd, i commented to nic,"We're both happy girls, right?" ha. ha. ha. when you told me THAT, my BIG bubble of happiness and satisfaction popped. you must've felt GRRRRREAT.
i dont get it, you had your chance, and you blew it. i don't anymore. after i saw all i needed to see to make up my mind. then why are you spoiling it for me? :( i couldve lived a couple more weeks of ignorance and continue everything but ou just broke it so directly, it was staring at me in the face. UGH. it's not gonna be the same anymore.
next week is a freaking packed week loaded with CAs. it's CRAZY. monday, there's syf rehearsal at NIGHT from 7-8 at NUS , God knows whee it is, tuesday, there's chem, wednesday, chinese, which i only found out today, thursday, emath and friday, amath. SETS. which i have clue about it. i REEEEEEEALLLLY CANNOT stand leesn, EWWWWWWWWWWW. she cant FREAKING TEACH OKAY. worse still it's the same one for e and amath. bloody fantastic.

i dont think our item's prepared at all.=(

rahh, and my throat is hurting like hell.

2007-01-31T23:22:00.000+08:00

YAY i just revised through P&C. thank god joce reminded me, or i'll forget completely. and i almost lost my amath tb, found it out the bottom of my textbook cupboard.

there wasnt chinese remedial today, could've bloody ran with horrendous, but i didnt bring my pe. TMR. =)) 2.8 km, i hope we can manage! i was dying from 2.4 last sunday already!=(

Oh if I never knew you
There's no moment I regret
If i never felt this love
Since the moment that we met
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast
How precious life can be...
I've lived at last...

I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love wuold be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is saying we were right
we were right

i love this song. =) the cheetah girls version.

it's like i lost a coin and found a note. =) i seriously hope it lasts.

camille's bloody lucky!!!

2007-01-30T05:16:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THIS IS SO MUCH FREAKING BETTER THAN THE DREAM(or was it just a night sort of daydream?) I HAD JUST NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

AJFHASKGSSJDVKNHSA
UHFSUIVHSUIGHSIUGH
SIUGHSIGYRHJKHSBHSYR!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

and guess what, i couldnt catch a wink of sleep at all . i got to bed at FREAKING 8 last night hoping to wake up at 4 to cram in history into my head cos nothing could get in last night. and i DID! cos i didnt sleep at all. spent the whole night tossing and turning. yeah, and i had that sort of dream which was kinda nice but this is a zillion times BETTER. =)))))))

and my fringe sucks it's so long, nic keeps reminding me everyday, i need to cut it. =\ i like it when my hair is down it just blends with my other hair, but when it's tied up it's bloody disgusting.

IT'S 5.21a.m. and i'm WIDE AWAKE! :D

2007-01-23T20:53:00.000+08:00

damn, my eyes are always so tired, i have to put eye drops continuously.

oh, there's a hadicapped bus for 76! i couldnt believe my eyes when i saw, cos all the buses have already, except this. yay~

ooh, nic's sweetie sweet sixteen! =) hahahah one eventful, fun and hilarious day. i love my two lovelies so much words cant describe it. in the morning ard 6.40, joce joan bel and i were behind the classroom block painting the surfboard that joce brought to school. haha! i hopped off the bus and saw her dropping the surfboard just to close the cab's door. i laughed at her clumsiness, and walked over to give her a hand, only to drop it the moment my fingers enclosed it's edges. haha. lugged it to our class, which thankfully is on the first level. imagine carrying it up 4 storeys. haha and joan was laughing at joce all he time cos her paint was crap. LOL. aww, and nic cried when she saw it! and she rushed to hug us, resulting in the paint smudging all over us. hahaha. and joce and i gave her an ikea box filled with stuffies. =) went to town after school for lunch, omg, it was SUCH A LAUGH. kept cracking one another up. seriously. aww man, i love them! =)=)=)

and they're getting started on MINE already! =D

i feel so blind these days. i cant see a single shit on the visualiser anymore, and everything is blurry if i dont have any aid. and i ran out of contacts, and i have no idea at all when i can get my new set.
smittened with the current.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

2007-01-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

omg, i was freaking irritated at my tutor just now, she put me in a NASTY mood for the rest of threequarters of the lesson. wtf, i couldnt stand it okay! i was telling her i'd be glad to get a b4 for chinese Os, and i wont retake at the end of the year and you know what the hell she replied?! "I'ld be even surprised if you can get a c6."

OMGGGGGGGG. WHAT kind of tutor actually says that?! HUH?!?! i was so freaking pissed off. before that conversation, i did this 4choices passage, and i got 2/10. and i actually DID put in effort to do it. it's just bloody disappointing. so aftr she said that freaking INSENSITIVE comment, i went to get both my book dictionary ad my small electronic dictionary. appearantly i didnt knowhow to operate it, so i used the book one, which i havent touched in ages, so it's really dusty. anyway, that's beside the point.

i checked for EVERY choice of words, and double checked everything. i was much better, 8/10. i had this SUDDEN urge to do FECKINGLY well in all my chinese papers, just to prove her wrong. rahhh, which seems so impossible..

it's not even like i wanna be horrible at chinese, i dont even know why i'm this bad! it didnt use to be the way until freaking p4, when my chinese standard started plummeting. i have no idea why too. it SUCKS to not understand every sentence laoshi is saying in class, and always being lost. i dont like it one bit. and i'm really scared she calls on me to read, everyone who had read has been so fluent, i'm not even a quarter as good as them! that's how much my chinese stinks. =(((((( i'm seriously sad about it, i wanna be good at chinese!

urghhhhh.

and finally got nic's present. hoohaa.

2007-01-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

CCA promotion day. met jana at the bus-stop and went to school. headed backstage and lingered for a while, then we went to the third level and talked for quite a long time. =) i had almost forgotten how we could go on talking forever in sec 2. it's nice=) really nice.

headed to day and night cos i was starving, and i was feeling so weak and faint, my hands were shaking. then the dance booth, and the hall. twas bored to tears listening. everything was pushed back by a hour, cos of the never-ending talks. after i while, i told her, "I think the parents will stand up one by one an leave." LOL, ad true enough, within a minute, the first parent rised. hahaha, we counted, and over 60 sets of parents left. i lost count at 52, but while chatting, i saw so many leaving. after watching the ballet item, jana and i went backstage to meet the rest again.

got ready and stuff. walked about school then sat with the choir people at the foyer, and i was so desperate to feel energetic and stuff, cos i felt tha i could collapse anytime. initially we wanted to go onto the swing the guides built, but i realised it was a one seater. from the side view, it looked as though it could fit 5 people. hahaha, then angelica and i went onto the npcc slide. and that was where i got my shoes all muddy, and my mum's gym pants! =\ crap. i hadnt even realised it til much later. and by then, it was our turn to perform, so ididnt have timeto srub it off. and i didnt kick when i should've. lol, i was scared i would splatter the mud everywhere. man,.. our last dance as a sec 4 batch! it's sad...=((((( took photos and left with joce to hunt for nic's present.

it aint easy, i can tell you that. i felt the same wave of frustration over and over again. found it in the end. god, it was almost a thousand. we walked out, feeling bloody dejected. then i saw the same thing, and we screamed a little and ran there. haha, it was cheaper, but not that much. decided to get it after all. aw, and joce was so affected. i have no idea how we'll carry THAT around, the whole world will stare. ahhh. we cabbed all over the place from one place to another, when we couldve just went straight to the second place by BUS. whatthehell.

crushing like a tidal wave.

2007-01-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

ohman my eyes are so tired now. finished chem tuition, and chatted with bel for a while. yeah, let's do the sealed in a bottle thing. practiced for cca promotion day tomorrow at the void deck just now. i havent perspired as much since the teachers' day jazz item.

we took height and weight during pe, i put on 1kg and grew 1cm. haha and i totally forgotten that there was pe, cos i stopped checking my timetable. so i didnt get anything ready, i just brought a pe shirt for dance after school. and thank god! lol, shihua pointed out that i wasnt in pe attire, and i started omg-ing, cos i thought i didnt bring anything, then i remembered i brought a shirt, but not the shorts. and i was wearing this pink pair under. so i changed. dana lent me hers during pe.
why am i not surprised, i think we're all used to it. and we have to live with it, that's the part i hate. i dont feel that way AT ALL outside, 'cept maybe if i need to, but usually i dont! and the ironic thing is, i actually feel so different outside. it's not as bad as before, cos i dont care so much now, but it still occurs every freaking now and then. no matter how muc i try to push that thought out of my mind, it's still there, in black and white. i dont know. but i DO know it'll end soon, thankfully.
I look at you looking at me
Feels like a feeling meant to be
And as your body moves with mine
It's iike I'm lifted out of time

And time again
Patientiy I've waited
For this moment to arrive

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled me closer
After you go
Will you return to love me
After tonight begins to fade

I feel your touch caressing me
This feeling's all l'll ever need
With every kiss from your sweet lips
lt's like I'm drifting out of time

Alone will tell
If you feel the way I feel
When I look in your eyes

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled-me closer
After you go
Will you return to love me
After the night becomes the day

Time
And time and time again
So patiently I've waited
For this moment to arrive

After tonight
Will you remember
How sweet and tenderly
You reached for me
And pulled me closer
After you go
Baby will you return to love me
After the night becomes the day
After tonight begins to fade
after tonight by mariah carey, i heard it recently on my ipod one of the days when it was on shuffle, i think. never knew i had this song. but i'm stuck on it now! it's so.. mesmerising/enchanting? bloody nice=)

2007-01-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

hahaha randomly chose a couple. omg we were bloody retarded that day okay. like IN PUBLIC. mygod. embarrassing. but still! hahaha we had our fun. it was after the east coast field trip. i was supposed to go swimming with the CIAPS, finally got the perfect date, then everything got screwed, so we didnt after all. went to the bowling alley and the pool/billard place and after a LONG tim, decided to bowl. and there were people laughing at us okay, cos we're so bloody lousy. and THAT was before we decided to fool around, hahaha! and YOU KNOW WHAT! at first 3 of us bowled with one ball, the orange and the lightest, which was frigging heavy for me already at first. so,.. OMG, when i drew back my hand, the ball just freaking FLUNG OFF my fingers, into the counter area!!! that is, till joce stopped it from where she was. HAHAHAHA that was freaking humiliating, there was this other group full off good bowlers who always strike beside us and duh, they saw it. ahhhh. then we decided the green, second lightest ball was easier, there seems to be a better grip. hahaha, played ard 3 to 4 games. and there was once when i striked, which is freaking rare, that i had actually played for the next game, which was a bunch of panjabis. ahh. it was fun, that day.=)) then we walked to east coast macs, after failing to hitch a ride, cos it's the wrong people who stops for us, lol. did our airbrush tattoos=) it looks real! but it's scratching off already.

we're preparing for syf now. it means more recess practices til april. and mel's with us! omg me and serene went crazy when we found out okay! =)))

and i think i did badly for amath! i left out questions2 and 3. what a freaking way to start off this year. and i woke up at 4 to study binomials, cos ytd after dance we bathed and ate and slept right away. argh, and binomials didnt come out, neither did the part of trigo that i focused on. wth.

and i have no idea how to fill up te nyaa booklet, and it's due tmr. ughh.

2006-12-31T06:14:00.000+08:00

i cant believe i woke up at this unearthly hour on a SUNDAY. what the hell. 5am okay. =( just to walk tasha. my parents told me to try waking up this early so i could get used to it when school starts. since now we no longer have a maid, and when my dad's overseas. there's no one to walk her in the mornings, since my brother is in the morning session as well. and i have to get up extra early just to walk her.

omg i hate this frigging keyboard, it's so irritating, i have so many typos.

ít's new years eve, and i seriously cant believe how bloody fast time has past. one year just bloody flew by like that. it's amazing. and the very thought of having to take my Os next year can just scare the shit out of me. i dont even know where i wanna go after that. ohman..

i had a movie marathon myself ytd. =) lovewrecked, john tucker must die(again), little man, and the devil wears prada. they're all nice. =))

i still dont believe school's starting on wed. and today's sunday. rahhh. it's just too fast.

dont you know

2006-12-29T00:21:00.000+08:00

Remember we were lovin' every single night
You gave me all the love I needed to survive
And each and every day I'd only dream of you
And every single thing we would do
Remember all the plans that we made
All the things we went through
Just one thing remains
You'll always be my baby

2006-12-28T22:24:00.000+08:00

typed a long entry this morning, and it vanished. just like that.

dammit my brother is seriously a childish asshole, who deserves to die. for too many uncountable reasons. fucker.

UGH i've lost the mood to blog. maybe some other time.

AND my stupid moniter and keyboard is just bloody screwed.

2006-12-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

lol, just realised this is my 200th entry.

i'm feeling so weak now. like, i need to put in more effort to walk, talk, stand up straight, eat,etcetc,. and it sucks. slept at 3 last night, was busy cramming nic's and joce's presents. and to think i started during extended studies. AND i wont be able to give it to them anytime soon, i'll be away for christmas from tmr. and there's so much left to complete! rah. lol, i dont even thinki can complete i before school reopens.

CRAP i just remembered still have heymath amath to copy neatly and draw the graphs! damn it.

haha this afternoon i was so desperately longing for a bunch of brightly coloured flowers and balloons fedexed to my doorstep. it's so out of the blue, right? but i just wanted to receive it so badly.. i think it was cos i was feeling low in the afternoon in the middle of tuition, and the mood lingered throughtout the afternoon, so i needed to cheer up! waited in the car while my dad and bro went to heartland mall to do some lasst minute shopping for he trip. like insect repellant, sunblock, vicks, all the stuff. packed and watched tv once i came back home and got on with their presents after that. i think my eyesight will increase by a couple of hundred degrees if i keep doing it.

omg i'm seriously tired now and i think i shall go to bed.

2006-12-21T21:57:00.000+08:00

damn i'm seriously tired. walked ard the whole day doing my christmas shopping. i spent a hell lot!=(( have to start saving next year again. anyway, met joce in town at 11plus. went to wisma, then to taka, raffles city, suntec, raffles again, and back to taka. got my backpack! after taking forever for joce to chose hers, we went for dinner. my eyes were tired from the start of the day already. ytd evening i went to pasir ris with my family and me, my dad and brother cycled while my mum ran, again. and sth must have flew into my eye while i as cycling, cos when we went for supper, it started itching like crazy. and at night, my right eye was freaking swollen and BLOODY SQUINTY. i was freaking scared it stayed that way forever. this morning when i woke up it was still smallish and swollen. but when i left the house it was better.=)

i want the black bodynits one shoulder sleeveless mini dress!!

and now i'm having a bad headache. fantastic. =(

2006-12-19T22:49:00.000+08:00

grrrrrr! i'm going CRAZY trying to solve emath heymath question 15a. argh! i think it's easy, but i just cant SEE IT! =(((((((((((bloodyshit.i can do the rest of q15 but just not the first part! and just fantastic, the next learning lab is on the 28th. and 16 looks so freaking complicating with so many numbers an words i decided to leave it alone first.

had dance practice today! for promotion day. =) i have to perfect it, i'm still bloody rusty at it. oh, lol, half the time, i was trying to think and think and think of this word that is sort of opposite to cliche, but not exactly. it's cos jana mentioned sth like she went on a mission trip, but she experieced an earthquake, so i was saying it was very sth, but a the point of time i couldnt think of the damn word. and i was SO convinced it bega with the letter "t", haha, adthey started saying touche, touchy, typical, etcetc. lol me and shihua were still racking our brains out after super long, it really frustrated me, couldnt stop thinking about it. then a couple of hours later, when we were packing up, she was saying, "i'll go home and search the dictionary." and asked for the meaning again, so i explained, then it hit me! that BLOODY word is IRONIC !!!!! i was SUPER confident it began with t! LOL, i felt so dumb okay! and dana and shihua were insisting the word isnt ironic. hahaha, but it was. lol! played this finger game and cherades after dancing.=)) then bused home with jana.it felt like sucha long time since i've last walked from the school to the opposite bus-stop. and they opended a new shop!=))) shared a waffle with jana.

chem tuition tmr. dreading it, as usual.sigh.

and christmas shopping with joce on thursay! =)yay.

gahh, shall go back to stupid question15.

2006-12-15T21:46:00.000+08:00

i have yet to take my dinner. i'm still waiting for my family to come home with my subway sandwich. freaking hungry.

had chinese tuition in the morning, could barely get out of bed for it. after that, i had my lunch, and left for dana's. met annabel at the bus-stop, and as we were digging for our phones to call dana, she popped out of nowhere behind us across the street. lol. walked the east coast and cycled. =)))) the breeze was awesome. at one point it was drizzling, but we continued. didnt manage to cycle from the shop to one end, then to the other, and back to the shop. i think we took the longer end, cos when we have not reached the end, we cycled back, and it was just in time to return. bought popsicles and walked back through another condo. spent two hours at her house bathing and getting ready, and we rushed off to get a cab to cine to catch the holiday. reached at 4.40, thinking the show was at 4.40, but when we rushed up and saw, it began twenty minutes ago. but we still bought the tickets anyway, and went in. ooh, i LOVE the movie! i definitely wouldnt mind watching it again=))))) i love it love it love it! =) oh, and i think jude law's smile is so charming. i want to watch it now! i missed the first part. ahhh.

after the movie, i had to rush home SUPPOSEDLY to take care of my brother,cos my parents both have dinner appointments, only to find out that the house is empty, they all went to east coast. just amazing. and they're not home yet,..i'm really really hungry now.

my skin's all red now. we dumbly forgot to bring sunblock. lol.

oh yay they're home!=)

2006-12-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

hm.today wasnt as uneventful as i thought it would be.

had chem tuition at 12.30. vacuumed the house and got started on the christmas presents again. then went to raffles city and had dinner at out of the pan.

finally got my long-awaited pants from animal. lol. and got the sweet escape as well. i'm still hunting for a pencil case and a backpack. =\ sigh. cant seem to find a right one anywhere.

twas supposed to go to my gram's but i'm too lazy. going tmr instead.

it's sweeter than sugar, softer than marshmallows, louder than thunder, faster than a blink. yet it's further than anything i can ever describe.

the sun's getting cold.

2006-12-08T14:40:00.000+08:00

have i mentioned how much this sucks? uh huh YEAH a lot.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

i'm so FUCKING tired and i'll be having chem tuition in approximately 15 mintues time. AND i had chinese tuition this morning. UGH. i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired i'm so tired

=((((((((

woah man, you're so self-absorbed!

another dream. just like the rest. it has been over a WEEK alr. wth does it mean?

2006-12-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

okay it's called a skytrain not skyride. but i thought a skytrain is the one at the airport? hm.

if only i could twist it into reality. it was sucha fucking nice dream.

2006-12-06T20:34:00.000+08:00

went to sentosa with nic and joce today=)) i'm not any tanner! i think. =( met at habour front at 9. nic was earlier than i expected, haha what a surprise.

yeah, went to siloso beach first. it was so empty! except for a few people here and there. walked along the shore, and gave up, lol, cos there was nothing to do. went to this skyride place. we went up by the skyride and down by this go-cart like thing. i prefer the go-cart but the skyride was super sentimental=)) the trees were all below our feet. did it 3 times. the last time, there was these dragonflies buzzing ard. a LOT of them. hahaha, me and nic watched joce waving her hands all over the place, and flapping them frantically. hahahaha!

then we went back to siloso beach and changed to our bikinis in the hotel. but appearantly we had to freaking pay 22 bucks each to swim in their pool? wth. moneygrabbers. so we went to the beach in front and sat on the mouldy beach chairs which we pushed into the water, and just as we were settled down, the guy came up to us and demanded 30 bucks for sitting on their mouldy, lousy chairs. LOL, seriously, right there and then, i felt like bursting into laughter. how CHEAPSKATE can they get, really? hahaha, so we dragged the chairs back and left for palawan beach which was so much nicer.=) drifted in the sea and talked for quite some time, before bathing and changing.

ate at this food centre at the beach. then went to cinemania, where i scaremed til my throat still hurts like crazy, even now. it felt like being back in escape last year on the viking where me and joce sat in the freaking centre, yet shrieked like madasses. LOL. yeah felt the exact same way. like at one point i think no one in the theatre screamed, yet i was still scared out of my wits. and because there were 3 of us, we took turns to sit alone, and i sat alone for the kids bedroom one. i thought there would be DOLLS, but there was only one hideous clown, which hung on the ceiling. haha.

then we went to vivocity. it's my first time there! i dont find it THAT amazing. i thought it would be. walked ard, couldnt find anything, lousy. so we packeted food from the foodcourt to the rooftop. is it called a rooftop? ahh, whatever. the open area. there was a live band! called string theory. it was good, so we bought the cd on the way out. sat there for 2 hours plus. both of them were so lethargic. =(

oh, halfway, my chem tutor called. he was at my house, getting ready for lesson, then when he called, i shouted, "SHIT, sorry sorry sorry!" damn, i felt fecking bad okay. =(((((( sigh. but he said nevermind. i thought he would be super pissed off. thank god.

yeah, left ard 7 plus. we're going to joce's house on tues to watch movies and swim and run(i think). =)

2006-12-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

yeah! i'm planning to go for two classes of cardio tmr=DD i'm excited, though i highly doubt i'ld be able to drag myself out of bed in the morning. =\ i HOPE i'ld be disciplined enough to get up.

went to pasir ris park just now with my family. three of us cycled while my mum jogged. tasha was in my basket=) after half an hour plus, we headed to the mid summer night breeze cafe to have dinner. the embience was super nice.=)) the music and the sea. ate a HELL lot, i wanna shrink my appetite, but i just cant!=((

damn.

oh, and packed my room today. re-arraged the shelves and the study table. and packed my spare cupboard. got out all the old toys. most of them reminded me strongly of my childhood, so i didnt throw those. and i realize rosyth gives a LOT of stuff. lol i didnt toss those out too. i was super scared of the freaking DOLLS. dang. there were DOLLS and DOLL KEYCHAINS in there. it was when i was this small kid, and appreciated dolls, THAT WAS BEFORE I WATCHED THE STUPID CHUCKIE/CHILD'S PLAY. that stupid movie scared me like shit. so i ditched all my dolls. when i was 6-7? so today when my mum shoved the whole bunch of keychains to me, i caught sight of the eifel tower, so i grabbed it, when i realised i was clutching onto a STUPID DOLL. =((((( i shrieked and threw it back to her, and asked her to remove it. lol. but my cupboard is so much neater. =)

ohoh, we're prolly going to sentosa on wednesday.=) i just hope it doesnt rain...=\
gahhhhhhhhhhhh.

2006-12-01T16:40:00.000+08:00

~~it makes me go, "WHAT?!"~~

sigh.

2006-12-01T13:01:00.000+08:00

just had chem tuition. i was so tired, my eyes were barely opened. and i was supposed to have chinese tuition too, at the same time. lol. how did my arrangements get so screwed up? yeah, so my chinese tutor went home. thank god she came to tutor my brother too, so she didnt waste a trip. yeah, and i realised i'm pretty rusty with chem right now.

dang, i just went to the esprit eshop again and there's this black crossed halterneck that i LOVELOVELOVE, but i cant find it ANYWHERE! i went to raffles city, wisma, and united square's branch already. cant find it anywhere!=(

my aunt asked me out today with my cousin. dammit, i have to stay home or my brother would be home alone. and he's p5 alr. WTH?! not having a maid really SUCKS. ughhhhh.

oh! annabel stayed over the day before ytd. dana couldnt =((((((( we went to wisma and spent quite a while there shopping ard. she screamed so many times okay, that loser. haha! yeah i'm so happy with my purchases! yay i wanna shop some more. omg, this holiday i emtied out i think threequarters of my atm card. =((((((((( that's reallyreallyREALLY bad. but i need the stuff! =( i want to work again, but not some shitty job like last year. i just cant find the time too, anyway. i have to study, work out in the gym, help with the housework, blahblahblah, and i'm supposed to sign up for guitar lessons? huh. and it's already december. FANTASTIC. yeah, anyways. reached my house at ard 8plus. haha did a lot of crap. designed the CIAPS shirt=)) watched the princess diaries and snacked A LOT. man, i felt like a pig, just stuffing my face with food. oh, and created this WADDLY MILO we came up with. it's such a dumb name haha! it's ice cubes with LOADS of milo powder, bacon bitz, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate chips, honey(she added. HAHA! sounds gross right? haha, but it's nice!=D try it, lol. then went back to my room and took more pictures=D, talked, and tried on clothes. slept at ard 3. she's the FIRST person who came over and did not run away from tasha, who barks like crazy whenever ppl come over. i was impressed, haha! she said she used to own an alsation. cool=) yeah so in the morning, we had breakfast and walked tasha, before painting my anils, and she varnished off hers then she left at noon. and i cleaned my house and went for learning lab. =) ytd was empty..=(((( whoever i wanted to come didnt come.

yeah, then i went home, ate, then slept at 8.30! lol. twas dead beat. yet i'm still tired now. huh.

gah.

off for lunch.

2006-11-28T23:38:00.000+08:00

ooh, i can change my dp agn! my comp's so on and off.

went to the gym today, intended to go for both body balance and combat, but neelima was late, so i shopped ard while waiting for her, and we went to the sauna while waiting for body combat to start. and i cut my knee while trying to turn over. i lost almost all my energy during the class. it's really draining. but that's good. =) and i realise that all the instrustors/tress have tops that say what class thier teaching. that's so cool. i like it=)

then went over to watch a movie before heading home. oh, and i sat the hanicapped bus twice! bus 12 and 147. it's my first time, haha. it's so spacious=))

hm. played badminton with my brother and walked tasha. my mum forced me to okay. cos why? he was BORED. what the hell? ugh. i dont like doing things unwillingly. it just makes me feel so crappy. i wouldnt mind doing stuff for people if i do it gladly and on my own will, but being MADE to? i hate that. a lot. =( ya, so i was in a lousy mood this evening, cos i hate zero intention to get all sweaty again. i just wanted to have a short walk with tasha and go up already and catch that's so raven. instead i had to stay for 45 mins playing badminton with my brother. wth. ahh nvm.

geog tmr. then i'm meeting the ciaps. =D sleepover, perhaps? i dunno yet. i hope so!=)

another long night.

2006-11-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

another useless day. neither did i go to the gym, nor did any work. amazing.

i was laughing to myself just now when i browsed through the photos dana, annabel and i took the day before. ohh, i have a strong urge to go back to dana's sauna again! oh, went to the steam room with neelima ytd at the gym. i was less afraid, but i still dont like the BOOM!-ing sound when the steam is gushed out. and i was in a horrid mood by the time i was drying my hair, cos i itchy-handedly altered my shirt. =((((((( it's freaking NEW, and NICE, and i ruined it. it's WAY too short now, and my shoulders are just too frigging broad to wear it perfectly. =(((( i'm gna alter it again. after all, it's already ruined, and i look so FAT in it. so what have i got to lose? but i'll think abt how to alter it. i'll definitely remove the sleeves, though. so it'll probably be a spag or racer or tube, i guess.

and my comp's so fecking laggy, i would very much LOVE to smack it.

ugh.

i'm reading in her shoes. it's nice! i'm at the middle already. =)

i'm staying at the raffles hotel tmr and sunday to celebrate my dad's birthday. =) and i havent even got him anything yet. no idea what, actually.

i'm stuffing my face with candy everyday. =((((( that's bad. i shant eat ANY from now to christmas. =D yay.

and how do i bloody use the archive thing? i thought it's there already, but all the entries show. and it makes my comp lag like crazy. =(

2006-11-22T23:53:00.000+08:00

spent half the day with dana and annabel! haha those asses. =D thought i was gonna be late, but turned out i was so early! the buses were on my side today. =) took 76 and 43. to dana's condo. again. it was my turn to wait for annabel (previously she waited a whole hour for me) but thank god it was just half an hour or so. walked to dana's condo and went up. and you know what were the first words dana said to us when she opened the door? "hi chickens!" hahahahahaha. i just find it so amusing. annabel, being the world's biggest PIG and kept finding food, and dana, being the world's fussiest person("eh, what else must i bring down ah?") took forever to get ready. haha! we sat on the chairs for quite a while, munching on snacks and talking. and within five minutes into the pool, it started raining. and we spent the first 4 mins to actually GET into the water, cos it was freezing. so we went to the sauna, where i felt like such an amateur again, fussing if i should bring my bag in, consisting of my phone and camera. haha! it's really hot in there, but i enjoyed myself talking to the both of them! after a really long time, went to play in the rain, skipping ard like little children. =D then went back to the sauna cos we were really cold. after another long time, went to bathe. and change. then ate from the vending machine, and went to the studio, where we took dozens of pictures.

then i went to junction 8 to meet my family for dinner and to watch HAPPY FEET, LOL! i was kinda reluctant at first, but i just went for the sake of going, but its quite good! covered my eyes at some parts, haha! it's funny and cute! and there's a medley of the oldies. it's nice=), go watch. FINALLY got to go shoe shopping with my mum!=D haha it's just charles and keith, but i'm satisfied! =))) got my heels and a member card. yay!

god, it's hard to keep my eyes open. shall go off now.

ugh, it felt so real. EVERYTHING felt so real. yet i know it was ages ago.

2006-11-21T21:22:00.000+08:00

i slept for ard 5 hours straight just now after cleaning the house and eating my lunch. wow. i rmb at 3plus, my brother came barging onto my bed and rubbing his eyes for dunno what reason and persuading me to play monopoly with him. then to shake him off, i nodded and asked him for 5 mins more. then he came back, and i said, "at 4.05 okay?" and he came back and i said, "5.20" LOL and he came back again, but i think he said i shoved him away, and tasha too, cos he bro brought her in to scratch me? HAHA as if she would. =)so i think he kept the monopoly set cos i saw no trace of it. but when i was still drowsy on my bed, i caught a glimpse of the prepared set, with the money and cards etc ready on the floor. =(( i feel so bad. he's been wanting to play it for quite some time alr. hmm. i shall play it with him tonight if he still wants, haha.

me and nic at tll ytd.

this is damn blurry cos i think i was laughing so much from the photos before this one. haha!

AWWWWW, my darling darling darling DARLING TASHA!

2006-11-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh this asian kids festival thing is really tiring! although we're simply in charge of games, which i think is the easiest job. but it's freaking obscene wearing jeans for EVERYONE. what a damn LOUSY dresscode. i'm wearing pants tmr.=) and i feel that i've grown fatter, cos all i did was just eat and sit on the floor and play five stones. wth..

went to the gym this morning. intended to meet at 8.30 with neelima but that woman came at 9. so i ran first. then we went to the steam bath, in which i felt like such a noob, cos after 3 freaking mins we got out. HAHA! i didnt even dare step in first, the room looked so haunted. i think it's cause i saw this channel 8 drama show that a woman got murdered or raped in the sauna. so i made neelima go in first. lol. yeah then we decided to lie down, so she went across the room, but the moment her head touched the seat, there was the BOOM! and a sudden gush of mist, LOL and my heart jumped, i thought there were sound effects in there! HAHAHA. and neelima scuttled back to beside me. haha. then after a while i couldnt see a single thing and got scared and left. HAHAHAH. omg i'm such a LOSER, i swear. nvm! going in agn on tuesday, and i shall stay for at LEAST 10 mins. =))

oh! at the expo there's a clothes fair and a book fair, everything is so EFFING CHEAP, i went crazy man! hahahaha=))) i got a couple of shirts and a sweater. i wanted the bloody pullover but there wasnt my size. damn. and i got 3 books too! yay! for like what- 5 bucks each?! my god! =D ahahahah and made serana joce nelia wait for me for half an hour while i was happily choosing my books! i didnt even realise it was half an hour until serena came out to e grumbling and poking me asking me to hurry up. i wasnted to get more!=(( but she was impatient for FOOD, so i joined the queue to pay. yay!

oh man, thinking of another WHOLE day tmr of sitting on the floor to play five stones make me dread waking up. =(((( i have to feed and walk tasha, make my own breakfast, wash the wet area, wash my gym clothes and new clothes THEN only i can leave.=((((( dammit. sigh. and i ate so much for dinner i feel so freaking sinful=(, yet tmr i'm not going to the gym. it's too tiring. i've no energy for anything.

i need a new school bag! i cant seem to find one anywhere!=(((((i want a backpack, shoulder bags reallyreally SUCK. =( gah, i need one before the school year starts. it'll be hard to find. sigh.

you've got that something, what can i do?

2006-11-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

what the hell did i expect? this kind of fucking shit happens to me all the time. bloodyfuck. fucking fucking fucking fucking shit.

oh, and guess what? my ipod spoilt after two days. wtf? i just bought it on sunday, and now i cant press the centre button. fantastic. went to wheelock today after working out in the gym with neelima, where we sorta talked a lot. oh, and before that, we bought this ice cream and i dripped it all over the place. felt like the world's clumsiest fool. haha, all over bugis, there will be this trail of ice cream following me ard. lol. and neelima and i kept laughing our guts out. ohman! embarrassing. and we went to cold storage to get a drink for the gym ( which i realised, in the car on the way home, i could've just gotten a refill at the gym. wth. ), we were making such huge fools out of ourselves. like laughing everywhere we go. heehee.

ah, . then after that headed to wheelock. i'm gg back tmr with the ipod BOX to get a replacement. i dont see the purpose of the box. and i didnt know it's impt. what if i simply threw it away? then? wth man.

goddamnnit, i'm in a horrid mood right now.

bastards.

2006-11-13T18:38:00.000+08:00

i just unpacked to catered food to heat up, and i realized they ALWAYS gave fish ( the nasi lemak one cooked in the chinese style) and cooked the same way. =( why cant they change it? it's so boring eating the same food almost everyday.

BROKEN PROMISES. they suck! can you PLEASE not say sth when you dont mean jack, and lead me on? and THIS time, it didnt just affect me! DAMMIT. it's so selfish! omg i hate this so much. i just cant believe it okay. a couple of months back, i rmb CLEARLY how you bloody said this and that and in the END?! uh, THIS IS WHAT I GET. DAMMIT I JUST HATE TO THINK OF HER REACTION. I JUST CANT IMAGINE IT! IT'S SOSOSOSOSOOOOOO SELFISH! it's the popped-bubble kinda feeling. =(((((((((( omg i feel so GAHHHHHH. i just HATE this feeling! if it only affects me, hell, i'm USED to it! but this time it ISNT! okay?!dammit!omgifeelsomean! I"M BLOODY SORRY OKAY!=((((((((

and omg YOU! stop whatever the shit you think you're doing. it's irritating me a lot. what with all those stupid, UNBELIEVEABLE "sweet nothings" and the dumb things that you say, IT AINT WORKING! so just quit it okay. dammit. you can still have the fucking cheek to say, "that was a little too much, wasnt it?" UH, YES, MISTER, IT IS! what's your problem.

and when the hell is anything we planned going to happen?

gahh, and i have no freaking idea how to move my movies into itunes, and i'm going crazy trying to figure it out! can somebody help me?

everything is just getting on my nerves now, dammit.

2006-11-10T22:46:00.000+08:00

sucking on a candy cane now.=)) bought the whole box filled with 60 candy canes with nic ytd at cold storage. supposed to brg to sch today, but i forgot. dammit, i was craving for it so badly during chem.

oh! got home and went to work on the presents straight away. without lunch! anyway there was no lunch. came back to an empty house. whatever. these days, i prefer it this way. yeah, continued until 6, when i went down to walk tasha. oh, walked her at 4 too, she was barking and whining like crazy in the kitchen. so after some time, i got damn annoyed and clicked on her leash and brought her down.

i dont know if i should go to the gym for the cardio class or work out on machines tmr. still deciding. i never went on the machines for an hour before, usually after i run on the threadmill, i'm tired already. i make sure i run at least 3km everytime. i try to increase by 100m every time. i'm at 3.4km now. i think its possible to fulfil my goal of running 5km straight! =D but it isnt the same as running on the road. it's so much easier, cos it forces you to keep running. and there's a nice workout ambience too. =)

oh! i LOVE bring it on all or nothing. it's so cool! is it the third one? it didnt show in the theatres. found it in video ezy. i watched the break up too. it's so funny! the way they argue.

she's so temperamental, i have no idea how long i can take it. i'm getting pretty fed up myself.

2006-11-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

i feel feverish. no idea why.

oh! i watched step up alr! on sunday. it's good, but not as nice as take the lead. like, it didnt keep my eyes glued to the screen or sth. take the lead did. =)

went for cip briefing after school. it looks interesting. before that, me and joce headed to parkway. lunched at mos burger, then walked to the library and sat on the comfy seats behind the cafe. then the other threeniners came. LOL i think we must be feeling lame or sth, when the nlb briefer said, "they're little kids, be sure to have great responsibilty etc, etc." me and joce murmmered at the same time, "slap them all!" HAHAHA! and i think some time at the beginning of the breifing, i was deep in thought about joce's situation, and she was muttering sth about what the speaker said( trying to be witty, but failing, as usual),when i turned ard to face her, i think to tell her what i thought, when she said "ya, ya, you're going to ask me to shut up right?" or sth. LOL.

after the briefing, joce and i headed to the library to talk. spent about an hour plus there. at the kid's section. on the kiddy sofa. haha! and talked. haha, and when i was saying sth remoursefully, she slapped my face on both cheeks and went, "this is not the time to regret, steph!" LOL. stupid. HAH, and NOW she knows how i felt. poor thing. so, i came up with plan A and plan B, she didnt appreciate both plans! HAHA. but she burst out laughing, though.

learning lab's at 3 tmr. =\ i cant go to the gym before that now.

i want to watch material girls! although joce said she heard it's some bimbo show. haha.

ask me again. i wont let that chance slip by, i promise.

2006-11-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

damming shit, i TOLD myself time and time again not to do it. BUT HELLO?! HOW CAN I NOT?! HUH HUH HUH? TELL ME! BLOODY FUCK, THAT ~~WAS~~,(CORRECTION IS) MINE! YOU DONT JUST TAKE THAT AWAY FROM PEOPLE AND MAKE IT YOURS, YOU KNOW! WTF? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING THINK YOU ARE, HUH? you are NOT, repeat, NOT ALL THAT OKAY! omg. i'm trying VERY bloody hard to ignore, ignore, ignore. but it's EVERYWHERE! you'd bloody hell feel the same if SOMEONE did that to you. you're bloody making it fucking hard for me to NOT do what i said i wouldnt do. okay, fuck that.

i'm going to the gym tmr in the morning. i hope i can wake up on time, i have tuition right after at 1. i want to run 3.4 km! if it's possible. i want to TRY!

2006-11-01T21:33:00.000+08:00

ooh, i like our hair!!=))

photobucket's not irritatating today! lol. but i'm too lazy to upload the rest.

2006-11-01T19:51:00.000+08:00

damn, i only drank one nike bottle worth of water the whole day, and a couple of sips from joce's one. there's no time to refill in extended studies? i think i'll be forced to concentrate in history, mdm hassan forces all of us to give her our rapt attention. which is good, i guess.

oh in ss, serena bloody sat behind me, and kept pulling out my hair. about like 4 or 5 times. wth? neelima too okay. LOL and i tried pulling out her ponytail for revenge, since she's right beside me, the stupid rubber band couldnt come off, so i punched her head twice. uhoh. that sounded violent,=\. would you call it a punch if i used my fist to knock her head? doubt it hurts though, she can bang her head on the wall and not feel a thing.

ack, there's physics spa tmr. i'm kinda nervous that i mess up. i NEED to do well for spa so i dont have to worry too much if i screw up my written.

joce came over after school. it was fun! too bad nic couldnt come. for god-knows-what reason. took 200++ photos. =D LOL and wore my nighties. and this sweater that i only wore once. i dont think it's gown-ish enough to be called a nightgown. and this sweater that i only wore once. i'll post pictures later. maybe. depends on freaking photobucket.

do i regret?

part of me wants it to be read.

2006-10-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

went to the gym in the morning after breakfast. met neelima there. she's always having to wait for me, i feel a tad bit bad, actually. yeah. today wasnt as fruitful as ytd. i jogged 3km straight ytd! but not today. tried out many machines. they look so interesting! might be gg tmr. not sure for class or just to use the equipment. yeah anyway, after working out, headed to plaza sing. spotlight and john little. i'm so satisfied with my purchase! =)) i cant wait to get started. it's for joce and nic. their christmas presents. yeah, then i got home just to realise i need to buy two more things. so i'll prolly be heading there AGAIN tmr.

2006-10-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

TUESDAY-24th OCT

ME AND NIC

took me quite a while to put on the wig. nic helped me to wear it, seeing that i refused to lay a finger on it AT FIRST.became braver as time went by. haha! i think my phobia of dolls are linked to wigs.

aww, so CUTE!

that's learning lab's sweater.

HERE! the devil wig. fiery red! i WAAAAAANT!

mygod! i look like a frigging little kid!

LOL i couldnt figure how to fit this on at first.

haha that's a broom stick!

dinner at harry's steakhouse

2006-10-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

yay! nic bought the wig. it's LOOOOOOOOONG and black with white strips. AND very very tangled. it's cool though. saw this hot red devil one. I WANT IT OMG! kept debating and debating. it's so COOL! =)

yeah, took many pictures today. =D and my nose! it doesnt take three guesses to know what happened. started sneezing like a mad ass. surprise, surprise.

walked around after class and had dinner at the food junctions. the stalls 8, 9, 10 food vendors! *appalled face* tsk,tsk. no shame man. i cant stand these sort of people. makes me shudder with disgust. =
spent a helluva time at toysrus. wore the hats and stuff. till we got stopped for taking pictures. yeah, then split up. waited another 20 mins for my mum. still sneezing away.=
the photos are taking forever to upload. and i cant change dps again.
=( have to use my old ones.

i have been selfish. for too long.

2006-10-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

oh my god, you know what. photobucket is irritating the fuck out of me. i'm not gonna bother anymore. my comp's worse than retarded. stupid. eeks. gah, i'm still thinking abt those heels. my god I WANT THEM!=(((((

oh i want my own SITA and KAWT! shall keep thinking for one.=)

2006-10-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

okay, today was surprisingly fun. =) yeah.

was awaken by my mobile vibrating. it was annabel. realised it was only 7. fed tasha;ate cereal;walked tasha;washed wet area;bathed changed left.that off-timing woman arrived an hour before i did, i think. LOL. that's what i call DUMB!=)))haha, sat in the lounge yakking away while DANA was still snoring away. haha finally annabel called her house and her mum woke dana up. i think she took another hour just to get down to the lounge. lol? yeah, went to the studio. talked much and snacked and they painted their toes. oh yeah. and took a hell lotta photos. =)

left ard 12.30, managed to persuade dana to join us. THAT JANA couldnt come la, =((((((

went to raffles city. my toes ached like hell, cos of my closed-toed shoes. =( yeah at this shoe store, i saw this freaking nice pair of heels, i really really love them! it's $130. was freaking tempted to buy, but didnt in the end. i shall save up from now. hopefully by the end of extended studies i can get them. cos i dont know when my mum and i will finally get to shop ALONE without my whining brother. =\omg, i cant stop thinking of it! saw a couple of stuffs that i want to get too, but i shall patiently wait for my-mum-and-i-only shopping trip. when will that day happen man. there's so many things that i still need..=(((

shopping with them is great fun, seriously laughed a lot and teased each other and took loads of photos. =D yay. oh i want to get the man shirt from giodano. to wear at home. shall get it another time. i want black and blue!

yeah, then met joce and nic and walked to esplanade. had dinner. my parents came to fetch me so i couldnt stay for the chocolate fondues. ughhh. =( yeah, then bought breakfast and got home. oh yeah, and walked tasha with my brother.

argh, i'm craving to go shopping with a thousand-bucks-filled wallet. when i grow up, then. shall study hard and get a good job with LOADS of pay. and i can spend it all! =D

shall upload the photos later or sth.

2006-10-23T22:15:00.000+08:00

If we were a movie
than you'd be the right guy
and i'd be the best friend
that you'd fall in love with
in the end we'd be laughing
watching the sunset
fade to black
show the haze
play the happy song

it always happens. what did i expect, really? that'd it be all perfect and smooth saiing? hah. it's MY life i'm talking abt here. the screwed up one. what's freaking new, huh.

OMG I'M REALLY PISSED OFF NOW, UGHHH, I DIDNT WANT TO SEE THAT, AND I DONT WANT TO SEE THAT, I HONESTLY DID REGRET GOING THERE. OMG BLOODY FUCK I HATE THIS STUPID DUMBASS SHIT.

IT'S GETTING ON MY FREAKING NERVES AND I WANT A FUCKING BREAK, OKAY?!

SO JUST LEAVE. ME. ALONE!

UGH!

MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHHHHHHHHHHHH MY MOOD IS SO BLOODY LOUSY RIGHT NOW. AND THE FUCKING FAN IS BLOWING MY FRINGE ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE!

omgggggggggggggggggggg. i cant stop thinking abt it!

UGH.

2006-10-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANA LEONG JIA RUI!
i love you always and forever and forever and forever!
ANNABEL you too! i LOOOOOVE y'all CIAPS!

yay ciaps outing on tuesday! cant wait. =)

yeah anyways. got better results today than ytd. =) not exactly fantastic but i'm more or less satisfied. i'm going to change my method of studying next year, i need to.

ooh, i'm really happy about chinese! i PASSED and it isnt just a JUST-PASS grade! WHOOOOOOOOHOOO! FECKING ELATED about it. yeah man! for once in this year, i finally PASSED CHINESE~~~~~~~~

holy crap!=D

hahahaha, did like shit for the compo and letter, ahh but wtf, i dont careeeeeeeee!!!

met nic at united square, as usual. inteded to arrive 1/2 an hour earlier, BUT! that stupid woman decided to leave her HOUSE after i arrived. wtfwthwtfwth. so hung ard espirit for a while. and went to sans and got 2 books! yay.

tuition was dumb, HAHA. we did NOTHING unless you count screwing up stapling the papers. so, walked ard for abt 1h and talked loads. toyrus!=D mg, if ONLY i brought my camera! wanted to get the ultra long wig, but both of us were short of cash, haha. it's so cool! black with purple strips. i wanted the golden locks as well! gahhh, i cant find my brother's mask. and he's asleep now, i cant barge in searching the stupid toy cupboard. hmm, sorry nic.

yeah, and went back and TALKED. after class, walked around and TALKED. sat on the seats in the middle of nowhere and TALKED. yeah, for quite long, and my dad was waiting for me at the mrt station alr! omg, i felt damn freaking bad. rushed to meet him. and went home. ooh, tasha's so bloody CUUUUUTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! she just cut her hair, eeks! A-DO-RA-BLE! EEKS!=D

oh-KAY. you know WHATTA? IF you think i'm like THAAAAAAAAAAAT, perhaps.. hm, i dont know. PERHAPS YOU DONT KNOW ME AT ALL?! funny aye. after all this time. HA. HA. HA!

2006-10-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

hm, the first part of school was really horrible. i was disappointed like crazy. it isnt fair, it honestly isnt, i really stayed home almost everyday to mug my bloody ass off, yet..? =\ what kind of rubbish results did i get? it's the heart-sinking feeling when i stared at the red-inked marks. you know, out of the 4 papers we got back, i'm not satisfied with a single one. not at all. it's so frustrating. =(((( but somehow, in the art room when we got back history, when i started brooding and stuff, i knew i'd cheer up after school. recess was silent and . depressing.

when we got back chem, i was not exactly appalled at my marks, kind of expected it. happened to turn ard and met nic's eye. i burst out laughing! it's a different change of my mood. haha. chatted with neelima during ss. =) and serena popped out of nowhere and started poking me. wth? ahah.

nat daph jamie were going ard asking for money for nat's jogathon card. i was thinking, huh? what jogathon card? then i realised they were talking abt the cakes. lol.

yeah, so rushed to parkway with jana after school, mymy, i think i grew taller! i wonder what's my height now... yeah , anyways, went straight to swensons and collected the cakes. realised they were 80, not 70 dollars. bought two 1 kg cakes. cookies and cream and blackcurrant. me and jana sat in the canteen waiting for them to return from spc. wow, when i saw their faces when they saw the two cakes, i felt that all the effort we put in was 101% worth it! =)))))) haha, zan annabel dana jamie. had 4 big candles. lol i wanted to stuff 60(15 x 4), but jana said it would be too crowded. haha. yeah, after quite some time, left for parkway.

met nic joce peiqi there. went to sakaesushi for my lunch and their second helping.=)) yay. ohkay,.. mygod!!! bloody embarrassed ourelves there! hmm lets see, joce and peiqi were having a water fight over one miserable glass of water which one of them could've asked for another one, and peiqi poured the glass of water on joce's lap. LOL. joce, in return, dumped the remaining of peiqi. and we were fighting over food like poor peasants and ended up splattering food eerywhere over the table. and we asked the waitress to come over like dunno how many thousand times man. i think they werre irritated at us. and we were laughing our heads off at nohing much. by the way, you know i've never seen nic so bloody protective over her food before, usually she cant finish, and would gladly given it away, woah you should've seen her today, she bloody held her plate of sushi out of our reach! haha omg, behaved like immature brats. not going there agn. doubt i'm stepping into swensons too. =\ ahh well, had fun during lunch. it made me forget my atrocious(shihua's word) results for a while. haha, should do it again. =))

the flush in my cheeks

2006-10-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

MY ITUNES WORK NOW TOO!!!!!

HELLELUJAH

tonight must be my lucky night? haha. =D

2006-10-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

OHMYGOD A MIRICLE JUST HAPPENED, I CAN CHANGE MY DP!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHA YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

lol it doesnt seem like a big deal, but it is to ME, having stuck with the same old dps for the past few MONTHS. i'm elated!=D

and what's with the word verification thingy on blogger?

2006-10-11T21:07:00.000+08:00

PRETTY LITTLE CORSETS & SEE-THROUGH NIGHTGOWNS!

YEAH! finals are OVER. actually not really, there's still the getting-back-results part. ahh. whatever.

went out with joce and nic. it's really fun spending time with them, it's been forever since we last went out. ate a heavy brunch and walked ard town. took photos here and there. and the fitting room at tangs lingerie section OHMYGOSH! you'll feel like a QUEEN! or some filthy rich woman. mygod, it's so royal, so classy, argh! i want to be RICH when i grow up and make my room like THAT. the ambience was PERFECT. hahah, took about a zillion photos in there.

walked somemore, god, i'm really fed up with this lousy country, it's only our first day in town, and we were so freaking BORED of it. =\ last year hols, it took us abt 3 to4 trips to get sick of orchard. UGHHHH. i wanna hurry go on vacation! gonna get my stuff there.. i hope.

argh my itunes is screwed, cant listen to any music, DAMMINGSHIT. wtf is WRONG with this.

=(

2006-10-08T14:58:00.000+08:00

oh MAN! this year's one's gonna be so different, i can tell.

2006-10-06T22:01:00.000+08:00

wow. it seems like it was AGES since i last came online. my com is always taking so slow to start up, dumb shit.

ooh, EOYs are ALMOST over. but i feel like it's over already! haha. the memory work is DONE! social studies geog and history. whoo, i was so happy when history's over. though i still needed the time to scribble down the last sentence. the link or whatever. hm.

argh now youtube's taking hell of a long time to load. ARGHHHH. hate my com. i cant WAIT to change it.

oh, my maid left today. back to indonesia. we're catering food for me and my brother for dinner. and my dad's increasing my allowance for lunches. i wonder if we can cope. my mum's seriously a cleanliness freak, particularly when it's HER who cleans the house. hm. i'm gonna help out with the housework too, and that's EXTRA money for me! hahah. shopping!

yay~

ohohoh! you know what! i CANT FREAKING WAIT for finals to be OVER!!!!! hurry hurry hurry! i'm planning to go to the gym EVERYDAY(if i can manage it) and work out! =DDDD haha i'm super excited over it. think abt all the calories i'll lose! i can eat and eat and eat without feeling guilty! i'll be using my mum's california fitness card. i can follow her to fitnass first and my dad to true yoga too! haha YAY. i'm really looking forward to the classes. =) and i'm going to take a musical instrument. and i'll be starting on christmas presents! plus shopping! haha cant wait. i have so much to buy. and i'm finally going to after finals! hahaha =))) and i'll prolly be tagging along with my dad when he goes for business trips. =) if only there's no extended studies. damn it.

ahh wells. whatever.

what can i do?

2006-09-21T21:06:00.000+08:00

it seems like i cant stop taking afternoon naps that last for 2 to 3 hours. =((( i feel that it's such a bloody waste of time. during the briefing today mrswilliams said we're supposed to finish all our revision alr? god. you know what? i'm still stationary for ss and history. at CHAPTER ONE. what shit is that? UGH. i feel so JBUGDUADGIDGGRRRRRRRRR !

thanks annabel.=)

sigh. what am i going to freaking do? the big THING will come one week from tmr. FANTASTIC. i'm NOT ready. not at all. i feel so freaking hopeless.

sometimes i just dont know what to do with myself.=(

went to nic's house after school. we got there surprisingly fast. though we bused the whole way there. the buses came right on time. ate and went up to her room. i read her primary school letters. haha, kept laughing. they're so funny.

made our way to learning lab. the first lesson that we studied for 2 whole hours. wow. the seating arrangement was all mucked up though. =( ugh.

i'm going back to functions. =(

You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night

2006-09-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

all we needed was just the two of us~

2006-09-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

Why do I miss you so much?
I wanna stop to turn inside
oh baby please
give us one more try

See you out with all your friends
Laughing it up as you pretend
to have a good time, I know cause I'm living the same life
I'm about to got to say
we can't keep living this same way
so I'll be the one
yeah I'll say it I'll say it I'll say it I'll say it again

Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
love maybe
come back

I wanna call, but then I stall
cause after all, I just couldn't take it
cause if your play was to push me away
you know the day, my heart you'd break it

I know we made a mistake
it's just like your foolish pride
Come back to me

Let us try, let us try, let us try

Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
i should've never set you free
love maybe
come back

You know you miss your Baby V
And I can see that you think about me
so why do you act like you don't care
like all this love between us isn't there
I know that you're upset
I know I did you wrong
I know that you want me to pay for all the pain i've caused
but in the end it all comes down to just one thing
it's you and me

so I sing

Baby come back to me
in my heart I still believe
we were meant to be
together so whatever it takes

Baby come back to me
I should've never set you free
love maybe
come back

i like this song! found the video on youtube just now. vanessa hudgens is SO PRETTY!!!=))the way she dances, resembles jennifer lopez a lot. =)

argh i cant stand it, i've been unable to sleep the past two nights. =( friday night i was up till 2.30 just tossing and turning on my bed. ugh it's so irritating. so on saturday i slept the whole afternoon away. such a waste.=( and last night i was still wide awake at 3plus. i was so frustrated. =( i hope it doesnt happen again tonight. but IF it does, i'm getting up to study, like joce suggested. but i hope i can sleep peacefully tonight. =\ many scenerios and flashbacks ran through my mind last night. i thought a lot actually. about many things.

ahh, the one week hols ended. i dont know if i accomplished a lot, or used my time well. but i did study harder than last year. that's good i guess. and my parents noticed too! i sacrificed a lot just to study, my hard work better pay off. i want to do WELL! i want to be super happy when i got every paper back! i want to sit for every test with confidence! and at the end of the year, i want to enjoy my holidays with nothing holding me back. and i do NOT want to regret anything. like i did last year. =( hm.

only time will tell, right?

2006-09-08T20:21:00.000+08:00

got these two pictures off dana's blog. =)) annabel has yet to send me the rest.

i'm a ciaP!=D hahaha

hmm, mugged almost the whole of today. but more than half of my school's homework is left undone. =
started reading message in a bottle again. it's so sweet. =)

2006-09-05T21:44:00.000+08:00

this is dumb.

perfect timing. hell yeah. perfect. it juuuuuuuuuuust had to be now, didnt it.

simply,..upsetting.

dont i just love my perfect life?

awesome.
awwwwwwwwwwesoooooooooooooooome.

oh, and finals is abt 3 weeks away, i'm still so relaxed. and behind schedule. i cant brg myself to mug all day long. always resorting to afternoon naps. i feel like i've lost all the discipline that i used to have when i was younger. disappointing.

i want to run every evening. but i just cant brg myself to leave my house. not when i'm clean and dry, the thought of being sweaty,.. it just makes me feel so guilty and lazy and fat. which i think i really really am now. snacking all the day, and not bothering to burn any fats off. what happened to my determination too?

=(((((((((((((((((((((((((

ugh.

2006-08-27T16:12:00.000+08:00

okay i'm so fucking upset right now. and UGH i hate this.

annabel's lucky. VERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY lucky.
so is dana.
and jana.

i need skin-thickening lessons.

stayed at home the whole day. physics tuition in the morning. finally understand heat capacity.=) hm. supposed to go to marina square later but i'm too lazy to leave my house. ugh

ahh i canNOT stand this i'm SO FUCKING SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. and IRRITATED. EVERY FREAKING SOUND THAT I HEAR JUST IRRITATES ME. even the normalest of them all like the stupid gas starter. aahdvguadyvguayv

i feel like whining my ass off now.

I NEED SOMEBODY!
not to judge;
but to listen.
not to comment;
but to advise.

WHO man. omg.

helpmehelpmehelpmehelpme.

i think my stupid default expression now is a FROWN.

f
u
c
k.
stupidstupidstupidlife.

dana's so POSITIVE! wish i could get over things just with the snap of my fingers. like her.=)

it's so MUCH EASIER said than done.

i'm looking forward to the performance on thursday. ahh but i'm so unlucky, sth might just happen. and i cant perform. like maybe i'll sprain my ankle or sth. or fall flat on my face when i get off a bus. or trip over a stone. whatever.

oh you know what. jiaying's right. the stupid teacher's day celebration for rosyth is on wednesday, and there's no school on thursday. WOWWWWWWWWWWW. very good. just RUDELY interupted my stupid plans to go back. AHAHAHAHA. wowee. now, not only can i NOT go back, i dont know when's the next time i can meet my friends agn. isnt that just fastastic?!?!?!

have i mentioned lately how much i hate my stupid life?

2006-08-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

s
t
u
p
i
d
.

2006-08-25T22:36:00.000+08:00

ahh. my eyes hurt.

dance was tiring! but fun=) i have never danced so much non-stop before! i think. not even the preparations for public performance. i'm in group 2 too. learnt the whole bunch of steps today. we kept doing the whole dance again and again. i feel so accomplished! finally drilled the steps into my head alr. i need to perfect them though, let them run smoothly. there're no more double turns, so i'm not worried anymore. went back only at 5.40? but stopped dancing at 5. i perspired like MAD, really. means i lost a LOT of calories! yay. but i probably put them back into my body, ate an ice cream, a bag of chips all by myself plus there's a candy jar sitting right in front of me right now. it's so tempting. =(

i'm so tired, and i'm not in the mugging mood. =(((( i need to start revising for finals soon. this year passed so fast though, i feel like i just learnt kinematics, indices, all those earlier chapters, just last week or sth. ohman, i have t0 memorise so much. for geog hist ss chem. =\

2006-08-24T21:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so SICK of saying nevermind.

or forget it.

just as being SICK of saying i'm okay.

or that everything's fine.

when i know too well that i mind, i cant forget it, i'm NOT okay, and that every bloody thing's going wrong.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. so i'm sorry, i cant reply to that. i just dont know what to say.

i want to hug somebody.

=((((((((((

2006-08-24T21:01:00.000+08:00

right now, i feel that DANA's freaking sweet.

you dont have to keep apologising? it's over, and we screwed it up.

PROJECT SCREWED-UP DAY -nic

yup. i think that phrase TOTALLY COMPLETELY 100PERCENT-LY fits the description of today.

geog. okay mapreading and shit. whatever.

chinese. ?!?!?!! argh!

pe. redid 5 items, got my gold.

recess. rushed like SHIT for dance. then rushed back to class.

english. had emath spring test, which i can happily DONT KNOW HOW TO DO QUESTION 2 AND THERE GOES 5 FUCKING MARKS. and my stomach can HAPPILY GRUMBLE AND GROWL.

history. almost starved to death. was in a HORRID mood, i didnt want to talk to anyone, the only words out of my mouth was "do you have any food?" then everything made me so mad and grumpy i started tearing. fucking pissed off. i think i'm bringing my own packet of food everyday to EAT after recess since i cant rely on ANYONE to get me food. sad, ISNT IT?! fucking hell. no one, OKAY?

physics. HAH! bloody piece of motherfucking shit! embarrassed and humiliated myself so fucking much in front of the class. GREAT MAN. JUST GRRRRREAT! HAHAHAHA. the first part of the lesson is was already so bloody upset, and STARVED and feeling fucking low. THEN THE PRESENTATION JUST HAD TO HAPPEN, DIDNT IT.

after school, some shit happened, or rather, DIDNT HAPPEN, that made me feel so ARGHHHHH&^%$$%#($(@*@&$!$^*!!!!!! i wanted to KICK STH! intended to go to jana's hse with the ciaps, but because we had to stay in the studio to dig for a banner and spent THIRTYFIVE FREAKING MINUTES waiting for ANY 3 buses, went straight to the bungalow. serena, omg serena's damn freaking niceeeeeee!!!! met her at the traffic light outside school, she was crossing back to school, and she asked me if i was still hungry. obviously i said yes, barely ate anything the whole day.

then she put her hand into her pocket and pulled out a big kitkat bar!!!!! omg, i was so touched and thankful. AHHHHH she's so THOUGHTFUL! omg! =DDDD shouted THANK YOU across the street at her.

shared it with the ciaps=) omg they are GREAT COMPANY! =D when we alighted the bus to walk to the mrt station, i started feeling shitty again cos of the DAMN SHIT weather, and started whining and yelling. then the 4 of us started pointing the the NORMAL-est things and laughing our asses off at them like some mad freaks. which we are. HAHA.=D i love the ciaps!!!!! then dana, the dumb one, suggested to point at sth then scream, HAHA! i pointed to the first aid kit or sth, it's a box that's yellow, and said it's a bomb in disguise. HAHAHAA dana grabbed my hand and screamed and pulled me away. HAHAHA. and annabel and jana were gone. LOL. i saw a trace of annabe'l's black bag, so we ran to them, and they were racing?!?! see who reach there first. stupid people. HAHA. made a fool out of ourselves, but i didnt care. i love their company!

arrived at pasir ris mrt, met zan and daph, then went off to the bungalow first. changed and washed my hair. then left at 4.30. OMG HOW RETARDED IS THAT, HUH! come and leave?! stupid. =((((( i only went for it cos it was learning lab. which is SUPPOSED to be fun. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? TODAY'S LESSON WAS BORING! I REGRET LEAVING! FNSLGIHADOIGAIADA DAMN FREAKING SHITGSLKHBLIAU FVTA.

got my wave hoop at toysrus. yay. finally. =)

then DANA called, to tell me she missed me, omg! hahahaha=) they were at the beach and she wished i was there, awww omg it was so sweet!!!!!! =)))))))))) haha! ey, i knew we were close, but i seriously didnt know we were SO CLOSE til there are times we wont enjoy doing sth as much as we would if the other is there. i love dana! i love the ciaps! =)))))) i really regretted leaving the farewell then. i didnt finish playing thegames, act in the skit, and go to the beach at night, do so many things which i could've done. i really regret going for learning lab! =(

they made my day so much better than when i was in class. =DDDDD ahhh yay i'm freaking thankful for them.

some people just DONT UNDERSTAND.

it's TAKING the initiative to do sth WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

2006-08-21T20:23:00.000+08:00

ahaha. i did well for physics!!! my ONLY A1 for a real CA this term. =D yay! i dont even know what's going on for my group's project though, lixiao is doing EVERYTHING. i feel bad.. =(

after school there was DANCE! enjoyed myself loads! but lunch was depressing, LOL there was such a big difference at the lunch table, at the other end, they were laughing and being so happy, and at my end, we were brooding and complaining abt our grades and school and worries. then followed annabel up to class with jana. we were feeling so miserable, and i just thought of sth, if there's like this room, you enter from one door, super down and upset, and you exit out the other, laughing and feeling happyhappyhappy! haha, my impression of the room is made of PINK cotton candy, everything pure and pink and whitish inside. the scent of the sweetness, will just make all your troubles go away. wouldnt that be nice? haha. so annabel suggested to walk down the same staircase laughing. lol. and we DID. on the third level at the corridor, she was ranting and ranting until she cried, but was laughing at the same time? haha. went to the washroom to freshen up and stuff before going down. HAHA it was stupid. our first step down, we burst into laughter, and it wasnt on purpose! just went on laughing hysterically till we reached the void deck. HAHA.

went through our jazz item many many times, then decided to take a break with annabel. she's in group 3, with me! went to the back of the school, and started composing a nonsensical song. LOL. it DID lighten as up, so crappy and dumb and stupid, but it's MEANINGFUL. i suggested to use the tune of goofy goober HAHA. i rmb gen dancing and singing it, and she said grace taught her. so we called grace to ask for the right tune, OMG SO DUMB! we decided to sing to her first when she picked up!

grace: hello
annabel and i: hello grace! are you free?
grace: err..ya?
annabel: okay! 1,2,3!
us: GRACEYGRACEYGRACEYGRACE! SING A SONG FOR US TODAY!
LOL. this was NOT easy, kept bursting into fits or laughter. we even asked her to put the phone away and answer it agn, lol. zan and shihua walked in on us making a fool out of ourselves, HAHA.
then we asked her to sing the goofy goober song, and she did!
us: YAY! GRACEYGRACEYGRACEYGRACE! THANKS FOR SINGING US A SONG TODAY! BYE!
HAHAHAHA, and we hung up. it's so stupid!!!!HAHAHAHAH. then we did it with our little actions and stuff. HAHAHAHA it's really dumb. then made our way to the canteen, singing OUR SONG! =))))) met grace there, and we sung the gracey song to her! LOL. and sang it the whole way back. then taught the CIAPS!!!!! =DDDD included dana's and jana's.=)))) haha. it's just so rubbishy! then went through our part with annabel many many times. and went to the back of the classroom block agn with the ciaps. dana and jana was sad, cos of some dance stuffs.=( poor things. annabel went crazy there, what's NEW. but dana was crazier when it was HER TIME. haha. and went back with jana after we realized the jazz ppl left alr.

i realise i enjoy dance practices more and more. =))

should i study today..? i dont feel like.

and my hair sucks. =(

2006-08-18T15:05:00.000+08:00

YAY. just finished bathing and packing. omg it's such a HOT day. i HATE SINGAPORE'S weather!! went to parkway with joce and nic to get my silver paint. joce and nic took unbelieveably LONG to choose their glitter colour, but they did not get it after all. then i took a bus home with joce. we're gonna meet at nic's place ard 3.30. YEAH. sleepover. yay haha omg i'm damn excited! we're going midnight swimming. and bake a cake! nic is going to get strawberries and whipped cream. =D haha i'm bloody excited.

this afternoon was shit. =( it hit me HARD that it's NOT coming back. FUCK.

oh my mum's ready to send me. i'm going over now.

2006-08-17T23:13:00.000+08:00

HELLO. just done with my skin. i like the disco ball! the side is wierd though, i want to make it black, but then the links cant be seen. =(

headed to nic's house after school to make my lollipop. surprisingly, it was done within half an hour! haha. left it there for it to dry, nic's brging it to school for me tmr. =) then i'm gg home to finish it up. washed everything, waited for nic to bathe and get changed, and we left to go to learning lab. our class was at the paris classroom. when we entered, mrs.wee told us not to eat cos the doors were transparent, lol, but we still did. seems like nothing can stop us from eating. haha!

i going to do situps then sleep now, i think. NIGHT.

2006-08-15T22:20:00.000+08:00

So take a look at me now
'Cause there's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face

So take a look at me now
When there's just an empty space
And you're comin' back to me is against all odds
And that's what I've got to face

i must NOT cry.

2006-08-15T21:17:00.000+08:00

it just crumbled before my very eyes.

and it hurts so much.

i dont believe this. AHHH nvm. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

screwed up amath paper. GREAT. lost 10 shitty marks alr. not like i didnt study?!

and i did so badly for emath paper! i HATE trigo, i just DONT KNOW how to apply the bloody formulas!

school was pretty much uneventful, except for before dance, when i went ecstatic, jumping and shrieking all over the place. for that SHORT 3 HOURS. and that swelling happy balloon inside me popped. just like that. it's so sudden, i was just stunned, and speechless, went home right after. i was just so.. diasappointed. =((((((( i really had no mood for anything. planned to lie in my room and fall asleep and hopefully not get up. but i decided not to. diaried and sat myself in front of the tv. got up for dinner, and went back to watch. what am i doing..? i wish these kind of things wont get to me so easily. and i can just be like, "oh, okay." and get over it. with the snap of my fingers. HAH, it isnt that easy.

it's just so WRONG to feel this way.

curious -> happy -> elated -> disappointed/sad/miserable -> back to brooding.

2006-08-11T20:33:00.000+08:00

one word to describe today? -horrible.

ha. for one too many reasons. hm. i really dread school. there's NOTHING to look forward to? i'd rather coop myself up in my room and sleep all day.

recessed with the CIAPers. haha. chem was shit, as usual. then had legacy in the void deck. did some rubbish abt glueing two pieces of paper together, then tearing them apart? right. whatever. lol and nic just had to paste the gross glued then torn up paper on my knee. YUCK. hahaha, dana and fiona sat behind us, so we talked to dana most of the time. =) she's so fragile, even more than joce?! unbelieveable.

i think the day got worse as time passed by. sat at the corridor during dance to talk to joce ad nic. said my piece of mind. needed to get it off my chest, thank god they walked past. then annabel joined us.

the later part of dance was fun. spent it with annabel on the swing. =) the most horrendous hoo, of all horrendous hoos. LOL. spent it laughing and screaming. i felt like i was losing my voice. hahahaha, DANA should've been there.

"What comes in a package?"
"CHOCOLATES!"
"WE LOVE CHOCOLATES!"

"What comes in a package?"
"FLOWERS!"
"WE LOVE FLOWERS!"

annabel actually said "shit". haha how gross is that? LOL this ran ard among me annabel and chernise, who was being an extra on the swing, but yet, we didnt let her go off, until we all got up to dance agn. annabel and i talked much. =) abt stuffs. when we were not in fits, that is. lol, we actually each complimented each other? HAHA, we werent being ourselves today. went home with joce after that. the bus ride took longer than usual. and i'm supposed to have tuition now, but she have not come yet. which is good. i'm quite tired anyway.
it's like nothing happened at all. =(
..why the awkwardness?
annabel quoted this line from click,
"Will you still love me in the morning?"
"Always and forever."
it's so SWEET!

all out of love.

2006-08-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHHHomgi'msofuckingslow.

ahh, was pretty disappointed today, we're not dancing for the ASEAN prom anymore, ugh! ms chiam and mrs thong didnt allow us. i think we asked them too late, like on the day of the rehearsal itself. =(((( ahh, okay nvm. but i couldnt stop thinking abt it, like my mood was so lousy for the corner to corner part of dance. =\ dana said it hasnt sunk in into her yet. lol, and that she might just turn up.
dejected, disappointed, demoralised.

yeah, did shake alot of times=), polished up everything, but i hae yet to absorb the new steps. then took 76 home with chernise after dance. and the rest of the journey, i have no idea why, but i started tearing. and felt so sad the whole way home. i dont even know why. =(

i really really really really WANT to, but my fucking courage is failing me. JUST AWESOME.

2006-08-06T17:39:00.000+08:00

YAY, just watched the lake house. omg, it's seriously damn nice, i LOVE IT. =)) it's so bloody sweet, omg! but it's impossible.

i have the sudden urge to go to east coast. haha. or sentosa. any beach. argh, cant find the time. hopefully next weekend? it's almost the end of term 3 so i doubt there will be many tests coming up. AHH, i did so badly this term. i think my L1R5 will be so bloody high. hopeless.

haha i'm addicted to latin songs now. =) been listening to them the past couple of nights.

HAHAHA, i just cant stop insulting annabel. YAY. =D stupid horrendous hoo. ahh, i think i'll start revising emath now, then go walk tasha or jog. i'm feeling so lazy..

2006-08-05T00:35:00.000+08:00

Yo everybody we're 2e5!
you better get down cause we're alive
woo!, we're hot!
so touch us not!
cause....
we're the bomb,
can you hear us tick
beware if you turn us on
there is no safety switch
we're the bomb
use only safety hands
to mess with us,
you must be a brave class.

2006-08-04T23:33:00.000+08:00

How sweet it is to be loved by you
How sweet it is to be loved by you
I needed the shelter of someone's arms
And there you were
With sweet love and devotion
Gently touching my emotion

HA.HA.HA.
right.

2006-08-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

i dont know, i dont know anymore.

maybe some of us need to stop pretending.
today school was neutral. spent recess with the three biggest idiots ever, DANA JANA and ANNABEL. HAHA. the three idiots were eating, and i wasnt! =D HAH. but they're okay, cos they're slim ppl. lucky asses. yeah, annabel was complaining her head was heavy, so she hung it. then dana saw joce and nic, so i took my barley from them and drank it. we were at the situps area. yeah, then i became so lightheaded. haha.started critisizing annabel, AS USUAL. anyway, it isnt like i hadnt got any insults shot back. haha! uh huh, then we went up to class, ponned a bit of chinese with joce nic dana and annabel. HAHA, omg, laughed so much! =D i love them! then decided to go back to class. surprisingly we got away just like that! laoshi simply nodded and we went to our seats. yeayea! =) yeah, and i became so high, i have no idea why, so i concluded it must've been the barley. lol. laughed at everything, but i was moaning at the same time. abt the usuals. then had geog. HAHA, i was talking to joce on the phone, under the table!!! LOL. across the classroom. then alexa saw, and we conferenced. HAHA. retarded.

after school, waited so damn bloody long for my parents to come, then went to orchard. i got my heels! =DDDD iand i love them! =)))) hahahaha. i tried like 6cm high black stilettos, but i cant walk in them, wth. it isnt comfortable. so i settled with a shorter pair. =)

came back home, and slept.

yay i'm gonna watch tv now. =)

a sorry girl living in a sorry world.

ahhh. hcumydoolbosouyssimi

2006-08-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

out of sight, NOT out of mind.

haha, i'm feeling like shit now. GREAT.
i hatehatehate this year.
bloody shit.
everyone's so freaking happy. everyone except me.
serves me right. i pulled myself into this.
no one's fault but mine.
hurray.
WTFH MAN.

2006-08-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

hello!
haha=) i get a BIT of circles now. i'm happy! haha, i was so clueless abt them just ytd. i love learning lab! haha, andandand! a staff came into our classroom to ask what we wanted for children's day present. she designed this SUPER nice notebook-diary, A5 size, hahaha, they remind me of agatha de la prada/ aussino. bloody nice, omg! she designed it herself?! haha, she designed sth for the guys too, and every bloody design they shake their heads. LOLLL. i'll just burst out laughing at their pickiness. we suggested to give out ipods or roxy $100 vouchers. HAHA. =)) since their so bloody rich, it'll not be a problem. =D lol. and! this indian guy in our class, did his usual routine, which is wiping his eyes every freakibg 5seconds?!?!! HAHAHAHHAHA. the first time i saw him doing that today, i laughed, and didnt stop for 10 mins. nic insisted we go to the washroom, i was stumbling all over, omg! it might not be funny, but if you see him do the same thing every bloody week, you'll find it highly amusing HAHAHAHA. so.. ya. went to the washroom, cooled down, then headed back to class. hehe. and he did it agn. LOL WTH. had another laughing fit, but i stopped. stupid man. yeah. did 11 questions, that's IMPRESSIVE okay. cos normally we talk so much, we wont get past 5 questions. HAHA. yay!

ohoh, joan and i have the same breed of dogs! schnauzers! the grandfather moustach-y dog! hers is a male though. mine's female, haha. =)
omg, i miss last year!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-01T17:36:00.000+08:00

AHH. damn disappointed. ugh, whatever. it's over. ahhh, but i just cant stop thinking abt it, it's so BLOODY DISAPPOINTING. i guess my expectations were set too high.

hmmm.

oh, dance ytd was great fun! HAHAHA. yayayay! TANSHIHUA ANNABELTANG JANALIM are bloody HORRENDOUS assholes. YAY. and annabel sucks!=)) was at the swing with her before dance, omg, laughed until i was so giddy, and she got urgent, so we ran to the washroom. HAHA. and we're both supposedly inexperienced drinkers of packeted tehping. haha. then dance started and started creating signals for shut-ups. haha YAY! ohoh, and i FINALLY found a way to krump for the ending part. =) went home with jana. seems like forever since i last took bus home with her after dance. haha.

i slept so early last night! hit the sack at 8.30! HAHA. cos i couldnt absorb anymore, i was too lazy to even do situps?! haha. so i just went to bed. had a nice DREAM.=) omg, yay. if only dreams come true.. ahhh, didnt want to wake up. it finally happened. wow.

ohman, my whole body's aching, i feel like there isnt a single muscle in my body that's not pain. =\\

oh ytd school was mostly horrible. cos of thatthatthat. didnt just affect me, but nvm.. it's hopefully gonna end soon.

argh, and i'm having that ugh-i'm-so-fat thing agn. =\\

2006-07-20T21:08:00.000+08:00

okay, i've decided not to care anymore. =) say anything you like.

did some thorough thinking last night in bed. realised.. getting mad and pissed off wont get me any further. i mean, what can i do anyway? it's your mouth. i cant control it. so, yeah. whatever.

school was shit, as usual. it's halfway of term 3 alr. i'll be sitting for finals soon, i dont really know how i can handle it. i had a STRONG motivation last year. not any this year. =( i dont believe 7 months is almost over, yet nothing changed. it's just weird. everything is still the same. sigh. =( i dunno if i should seek help for my stupid depression. i hate my negativity. my attitude has changed so much. i look at everything from a pesimistic view. huh. what happened to me?

learning lab was hysterical. this stupid woman, NICOLE WONG, keeps saying the dumbist shit and making me laugh until i cant stop. we're like the two freaks in class. almost everyone is solemn most of the time, and we're giggling away like two mad idiots. there're 5 guys and one cedar girl in our class. talked a lot of shit today, haha. and we started scrutinising everything. LOL. that woman started it. hahaha. and suddenly everyone's habits seemed comical to us. laughed like hell, so we went to the toilet. on the way out, she pointed at this primary1- looking little boy and started going weak with laughter. what shit?! omg! so her contagious laughter passed to me, and we laughed ALL the way to the washroom. AHAHAH. and went back to class, started laughing agn. what the hell man. went to espirit after class, then at the pick-up point to wait for our mums. =)

2006-07-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

okay i've been saving this the whole fucking day alr.

FUCK YOU MAN!

THINK WHAT, WE WONT KNOW IS IT? HAH! USE YOUR HEAD LA OKAY. BITCH. WILL THIS EVEN DO YOU ANY GOOD?! I THINK NOT! BLOODY SHIT. FUCKING TWO-FACED MONSTER. AND YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE WILL KNOW I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE HYPOCRITES. AND THERE YOU ARE, HAPPILY BACKSTABBING. GOOD LA. VERY GOOD. I THINK THIS HAS FUCKING ENLIGHTENED ME. THANKS MAN. NOW, COS OF THIS. I DONT WANT IT BACK ANYMORE. YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND CARRY ON, I DONT WANT TO CARE ANYMORE. BLOODY BITCH. I CANT STAND IT, I REALLY CANT. AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND, THE WORST THING IS, I BELIEVE YOU NAIVELY EVERY FUCKING TIME. HOW DUMB AND GULLIBLE CAN I GET?! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER. DONT WANT TO DO IT THEN DONT LA. I CARE AH. YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD YOU KNOW. BIG MOUTH ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU.

thanks for acting like you cared.

2006-07-18T22:37:00.000+08:00

yay.finished emath hw. not a lot actually. i think this part of trigo's fun. =)

chem was horrible. even though i DID study for it. it isnt fair. when i DO study for sth, it turns out to be extra difficult. and now. there's geog to study for. WTH?! it never freaking ends.

didnt dance during dance. haha. my nose. AGAIN. sat there with kailing. then we went to behind the classroom black to take photos and stuff. then we called annabel dana and jana. 5 of us danced there. did the shake item. and more pics! haha dana said my eyes were dreamy cos i had flu. haha! and at least 5 ppl thought i was crying, cos my eyes were red and watery too. lol. esp joce! hahaha. when she turned ard to pack her bag she saw me and looked shock. HAHA. she went "steph are you crying?!" HAHAHA.

yeah, so we spent abt an hour behind there. it was fun. i feel like it's been so long since i had dance practice with jana. haha.

hmmm. =(

2006-07-15T20:17:00.000+08:00

=(
think i'm too depressed alr. that's not good. there isnt one day the past few months that i dont feel sad at all. what's wrong with me? i seem to be looking at everything from such a negative angle, never seeing the bright side of anything at all. even though i know there are many things i can feel grateful about, yet..i seem to push it out of my mind, and continue wallowing in self-pity. which is what i despise a lot. usually. i cant stand ppl who pities themselves. but now, here am i, doing it. god. i hate what i'm doing to myself. i want to stop so much. but i cant seem to.

gave up trying to study chem. it's too hopeless. i managed studying the periodic table. started on mole concept, but i stopped almost right away. i seem to keep looking at numbers. and i dont get it. HATE doing what i dont understand. it gets me irritated and stuff. =(

stayed back after school for dance ytd. carnival day is on friday? that's so soon. i'm not even sure of some of the steps yet. borrowed steph yap's rain soaked pe shirt. haha. had no other choice. i dont like wearing the blouse. spayed it with body mist and aired it under the sun behind the classroom block where me and annabel sat to talk while waiting for dance to start.

after dance, we sat in the school void deck chatting then headed to spc. sat in a corner and talked. dana annabel shihua iisnat gnat and me. =) let out some stuffs. the usual things. went on for an hour plus before they had to leave. so i took 76 home. and slept on my room floor when i got back. woke up only at 7plus.

didnt do flag day today. decided i was too lazy plus ytd night my mose was acting up. ahh.
why do i feel like no one's there?

2006-07-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

TODAY was a stupid stupid stupid stupid irritating day. i can just scream. bloody shit.

the day started off fine. good, in fact. it was raining when i got up. i was happy abt it. rain- NO ASSEMBLY.=) met joce at the bus stop. waited for nic until i got her msg which said she'd be going in by the main gate. so me and joce headed to the classroom. lessons were boring, as usual. whatever. dumbass.

THEN RECESS CAME. i didnt have to see that. i know i didnt. but i figured why i turned my head just to look. it's cos i didnt wanna leave it to my imagination. which, will be much much much worse. but i felt rotton after seeing. i can blame it on everyone else, but i know that it's all cos of me and my dumbass stupidity. brilliant.

just tell me- is it worth it? if it is, please do sth. if it isnt.. whatever. used to living this shit anyway.

2006-07-11T21:20:00.000+08:00

LOL. decided to blog on each other's blog. i feel so FREE after two CAs. dammit. it's not good. how can i let myself go easy so soon when there are still freakish more CAs to come... ugh. ahhh wth. i wasted the whole of today anyway. and i dont seem to care. haha, good. at least SS is over, i wrote so damn much and i dont even know if what i had written is what they want. busted. i wish i could be less longwinded. grrrr. im only making my hands ache. hell.

oh and guess what. joce and i were booked because we drank BARLEY SEEDS. OMG. can you believe it?! the stupid metal rod holding our barley drinks between our tables can miss lenny's eyes in class but it cant miss her eyes while we we were walking out of the class with it AFTER SHCOOL. god. what bullshit. and she freaking made us go look for a prefect and BEG her to book us. HUH! like, "can you please book us because we drank BARLEY SEEDS". yeah, we said that. Lenny forced us to, wth can we do. we had to bring the prefect to her and she just had to see us get booked. wtf. seriously, it's just barley seeds, what can we do if we were just trying to suck up the BARLEY WATER and a few innocent seeds went up the straw into our mouths along with the water. should we spit the seeds back out? what harm can a few seeds do, really. i think it just thrills her to see people get punished. LOL. i dont really care about getting booked,.. but the pleading to get booked part is just weird,.. especially when it's because of a few harmless barley seeds. lololol.

i went shopping today! YEAH EH! spent about close to 300bucks in Zara. YAY. but i shall stop spending for awhile huh,.. gotta learn to be less spendthrift. grrrahhh. im always saying it,.. but do i ever listen to myself. NO. i listen to my bloody heart which cannot resist temptation at all. ASS.
OOH...! i cant wait for THE LAKE HOUSE to open. uhuh! im so definitely gonna watch. KEANU REEVES. he's really handsome. haha.
LOVEYOU steph and joce. ;)

it's so damn true, i cant face up to reality.